“Black-ish” on (Black) Men and a Lost Little Girl

Following up on the story earlier this week about a Good Samaritan who found a lost toddler and tried to help her find her parents — only to be mistaken for a predator by the girl’s dad, who punched him and proceeded to smear him as a pervert on Facebook — a friend pointed me to this clip from the show Black-ish. You’ll see why!

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Hi kid! Hope you find your parents! Bye! (Anthony Anderson and  existential threat little girl.) 

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37 Responses to “Black-ish” on (Black) Men and a Lost Little Girl

  1. Snow June 30, 2017 at 7:29 am #

    I was recently at Disney and I noticed a small child, maybe 2 or 3 years old, just sobbing, and he didn’t appear to be with anyone. I went over to him and tried to talk to him, asked him where his mommy and daddy were, but he just kept sobbing and would not talk or even look at me. I stayed with him for about 3 minutes, hoping someone would come looking for him, but nobody came. I picked him up, he was still sobbing. Nobody stopped me, I assume people probably thought he was my kid having a meltdown. I was heading off to find security or a lost child area when the frantic parents showed up, looking for the kid. My husband, who was a few feet away from me, heard them, said ‘We found a kid!’ and yelled for me. I turned around, gave the kid to the parents, and all was well. They were so relieved. I am a middle aged white female. I wonder what might have happened if I were some other demographic.

  2. Theresa Hall June 30, 2017 at 8:09 am #

    I get it despite the fact it stupid Society has decided black boys aren’t good as white ones. And girls are more trustworthy than boys. I hope one day we can get along a lot better.

  3. JTW June 30, 2017 at 8:18 am #

    “I am a middle aged white female. I wonder what might have happened if I were some other demographic.”

    if you’d been a man of any skin colour you’d have been arrested for child abduction and placed on several pedophile watch lists, never to be taken off of them even though a court MIGHT let you off.
    After changing your name, moving to another country, and serious plastic surgery to change your looks, you’re finally free from the “concerned citizens” harassing you, vandalising your property, and sending your anonymous death threats regularly, only to have a mayor announce your presence as a “pedophile” in his city and having it all start again from scratch.

  4. Mari Inshaw June 30, 2017 at 8:42 am #

    Yup.
    The rules are different for Black men. Sadly it is a matter of life/ imprisonment/ death. And it isn’t just racism, it is also inherit bias. A bias that works against ALL men in this situation.

  5. Steve June 30, 2017 at 9:05 am #

    Great clip from Black-ish. The great thing about it: it’s funny because it’s true.

  6. Michael Wangai June 30, 2017 at 9:54 am #

    Sounds scary, helping is always divine whatever the consequences

  7. Shelly Stow June 30, 2017 at 12:10 pm #

    That is PRICELESS!!!

  8. Reziac June 30, 2017 at 12:11 pm #

    Actually, there’s been some research on the notion that it’s “because they’re black” (this was specifically re “driving while black” but applies to the current topic too) and turns out said excessive suspicion has nothing to do with being black, and everything to do with being male, as became evident since black females are not stopped at a higher rate than white females.

    Because in a pointlessly-suspicious society, every male is a predator, a reckless driver, and an all-around nogudnik.

  9. Theresa Hall June 30, 2017 at 12:29 pm #

    Black folks do get more petty ticket stops than white folks. Black boys can’t have half the dumb harmless mistakes that white ones get. Black girls get called prostitutes even if they dress nice. White girls only when dealing with the fashion police. I think it goes back slavery.they can’t be people because then no free labor and animals work for free. But then the law said they are not going to be slaves anymore and treating animals like their people is a problem.

  10. Robin June 30, 2017 at 12:33 pm #

    When we read the parable of the Good Samaritan (which even the suggestion itself was a shock to judaen ears), it’s easy to forget that the Samaritan is not really the hero of the story. It’s the person who cares for the Samaritan…and pays to have him made whole. It’s how people of good will respond to the person who’s good deed was punished that matters most.

  11. RebelMama June 30, 2017 at 12:35 pm #

    I’ve helped a toddler who was lost by picking them up and looking for the parents as well but as another commenter said it’s much safer for me to help bc I am neither male nor a minority. I hope if my kids ever need help they get help, from anyone!, instead of being ignored and left to fend for themselves bc of paranoia, racism and idiocy.

  12. Rhonda Fisher June 30, 2017 at 12:54 pm #

    Robin, you have a good point, but I’m pretty sure it was the Samaritan that is the “hero” of the story. It wasn’t a Samaritan that was hurt, it was a Samaritan that helped.

  13. Papilio June 30, 2017 at 1:12 pm #

    I was under the impression that this fear of helping little kids was a male thing rather than a black male thing, so I was surprised that the white men apparently didn’t understand the problem. (So why didn’t THEY help her?)

    (Kinda ironic that I saw some familiar faces from series like CSI and Law & Order… :-X )

  14. Papilio June 30, 2017 at 1:22 pm #

    @Robin: “When we read the parable of the Good Samaritan”
    I’m unfamiliar with languages in which the concept “we” excludes the speaker, but that does seem to be the case here… 😛 I suggest you read it again to refresh your memory 😉

  15. lightbright June 30, 2017 at 1:25 pm #

    I don’t remember if this story was covered on this blog, but apparently interracial families can catch some heat, too. http://www.alternet.org/how-racism-turned-interracial-familys-trip-walmart-kidnapping-investigation

    In Lenore’s clip, the man could at least run away. What if the little girl had been his step-daughter? What would people assume any time he took her out in public?

    We could make a whole game out of these race-and-gender scenarios. Using my link above, let’s pull a gender bender. A white woman married to a black man taking her kids to Walmart wouldn’t get that kind of harassment. Only men are perpetrators, after all.

    A woman of a minority race taking white kids who “don’t match” to Walmart would be presumed to be a nanny before anyone considers that she may be a step-mother, foster mother, adoptive mother, or even rogue kidnapper. After all, look what happened when people assumed that this Korean mom with a white husband was a nanny. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/robert-kelly-wife-not-nanny_us_58c5c53ee4b0ed71826d54fc

    Let’s speculate: What racist and/or sexist assumptions would emerge if we replaced the black man in the video with a Korean woman? Ah! That irresponsible nanny lost track of her client’s daughter! If the adult were a white woman? You horrible mother! How dare you let your child out of site in an elevator where an evil black man could get her?

    I double-checked my calendar. It is indeed 2017, 43 years after the Civil Rights Act. Yet we still find ourselves explaining interracial families. And that penis-bearer =/= child abductor.

  16. railmeat June 30, 2017 at 1:34 pm #

    Robin, in the parable of the Good Samaritan, you have the roles reversed. The Samaritan was an foreigner in Judea, and was looked upon with suspicion, if not hostility, by the natives.

    Yet he was the one who stopped and cared for the victim of a brutal robbery. I’m not certain, but I’m pretty sure that the nationality, tribal identification or race was never assigned to the man who was beaten and left for dead . . . and then left for dead by all the good citizens of Judea who happened by.

    Kinda changes things a bit eh? Mebbe hits a bit closer to home?

  17. James Pollock June 30, 2017 at 2:30 pm #

    “Robin, in the parable of the Good Samaritan […]”

    Any secular discussion of the Parable of the Good Samaritan should include a reference to “Lost in Non-translation”, an essay on the subject by Isaac Asimov.

    The short version: To Jesus’ audience, there was no such thing as a “good” Samaritan. Opinions varied from “we should kill them all” to “I guess we should let them live, as long as they stay out of our way”.

  18. Papilio June 30, 2017 at 3:59 pm #

    @lightbright: “After all, look what happened when people assumed that this Korean mom with a white husband was a nanny.”
    Hah, I thought so too, though she was probably described as such in the description? Don’t remember.
    Anyway, now that I see it again in a similarly tiny screen without pausing, I could just as well say I’m biased to believe that slender women with ponytails who storm into rooms like that are likely in their twenties or so > therefore at a glance half the age of that man > therefore likely not his wife.
    And sure, those are biases too, but just to say that not *everything* is race.

    On a related note, I once turned on the TV in the middle of a scene in the interrogation room of a police station. Two men were there, one on each side of the table, one black guy in casual/gym clothes, one white guy in a suit. I was very surprised when the *first* guy turned out to be the policeman. Now, don’t tell me I’m the only one who’d assume the detective would be the one in the suit!

  19. Theresa Hall June 30, 2017 at 6:00 pm #

    Mike That’s how the”cult” at the daycare happened. Those in charge wanted a bad guy and would not let the truth just be the truth. They kept making up all tall tales which would have failed if not for the doctor didn’t know what little girls look like downstairs. Because of that he thought rape and because he was supposed to know what he was talking about everyone believed him. Reality said nothing but a spanking happened. No rapes no fooling around with the dead. No blood punch. When these folks want a bad guy they will use any trick to get it. And can’t hang out and be not same color as you even if they are family.

  20. Donald June 30, 2017 at 7:45 pm #

    If the black man also owned a white van he would have been in even more danger!

  21. sexhysteria July 1, 2017 at 1:48 am #

    It’s to identify with him, but if I were black in the same situation I might have reacted the same way.

  22. Dingbat July 1, 2017 at 6:34 am #

    @Theresa Hall

    It did fail in several situations. Many innocent people were in prison for years after the Day Care Ritual Sex Abuse Hysteria. There were 7-8 Daycare cases in California (ground zero) alone before the Hysteria spread to the rest of the country.

    Unfortunately several “experts” (therapists, doctors, feminists/advocates, etc) were a large part of the problem. The woman hired to do the physical exams & look for signs of abuse at McMartin Daycare (Astrid Something or another…) had never conducted an exam of that nature before. She ended up saying 360 some of the 400 kids she had examined showed signs of physical abuse. When other doctors later reviewed he work they found only a couple did, and the abuse was at the hands of their parents. None of the kids were being given therapy by the large number of therapists that descended upon the daycares either. They were being interrogated and told to go home and practice saying things the therapists had told them.

    Teens were targeted as well. I rewatched Paradise Lost parts 1-3 last weekend. People might remember the name Damien Echols. He and 2 of his friends were arrested for the horrible assault and murder of three 8 year old boys in 1993. That was near the end of the Hysteria but it was still horrible.

    People were convinced it was a Satanic Ritual Killing and Damien was a teen who listened to metal and wore black. That’s the exact reason why 5 of my friends were expelled from high school 2 years prior to this case. The principal told them they were Devil worshippers and threats to other students because of these things. There were numerous self proclaimed experts telling parents that your kid wearing heavy metal, punk, black clothes and converse meant they were slipping into the occult and needed to be reprogrammed.

    Anywho, they were railroaded. Damien was sentenced to lethal injection at 19 and his 16 & 18 year old friends were given life. The documentaries are (graphic) good. They are filmed over several years (17) of appeals.

    When it comes to blind parental hysteria everyone is screwed.

  23. Dingbat July 1, 2017 at 6:38 am #

    That should be listening to metal/punk and sometimes wearing black.

    They were skate punks. Long shorts, boots or Airwalks, concert tee’s, etc.

  24. Dingbat July 1, 2017 at 7:15 am #

    P.S… Not that blind parental hysteria was the only thing involved. It was absolutely a large part, but there were also several groups and people involved that had agendas. The media attention alone was enough for some to push it and try to win. It was a 3 ring circus that ranged from reasonable sounding accusations of abuse to children being flushed down toilets to secrecy rooms where they watched Satanic rituals. Most of those were made by mentally ill people.

    It’s often surprising to people that many involved were not really religious. One of the best ways I heard it explained was that the panics had a lack of God and a clear devil.

  25. Dingbat July 1, 2017 at 7:21 am #

    After that… part of me honestly still feels like you should be able to take action against crazy parents and feminists in self defense. The moment they start to get crazy… put em down.

    They will not flinch while destroying thousands… even their own kids

  26. Theresa Hall July 1, 2017 at 7:48 am #

    I don’t know much about the other cases just the Keller one. It a Shane those poor people can’t fully move on because the DA won’t say innocent. She admits that there is no proof of guilt but won’t just say they were wrong in the first place. I still wonder how a doctor could graduate medical school without knowing what little girls look like downstairs. I hope someday those poor people are fully free.

  27. Diane July 1, 2017 at 1:16 pm #

    @Mike, seems mostly “babysitting while male” (and not obviously related to the child b/c skin color is different). I can’t imagine a white grandma getting any guff when seen on a walk with a black toddler. But who knows?

  28. Papilio July 2, 2017 at 4:48 pm #

    “take action against crazy parents and feminists in self defense”

    Feminists? The people who want equality for males and females, so both genders can help little girls in elevators without getting vilified?

  29. James Pollock July 2, 2017 at 5:53 pm #

    “Feminists? The people who want equality for males and females…”

    Don’t start with this person. It’s a personal bugaboo to which logic does not and cannot apply.
    (consider who you getting this advice from, and proceed accordingly…)

  30. Dingbat July 3, 2017 at 3:29 pm #

    Papilo… James is from Portland. You need say no more.

    Radical Feminist played a large and well documented role in the Ritual Sex Abuse Hysteria/Satanic Panic that can easily be comfrined by documentaries, video footage, interview, articles, Ms magazine covers… it’s not a secret.

  31. Dingbat July 3, 2017 at 3:33 pm #

    One does not exactly need to suspend belief to picture feminists being largely involved in cases involving mass accusations of sex abuse either.

  32. Dingbat July 3, 2017 at 3:39 pm #

    I have to wonder what James must think about the articles Lenore shares written by Elizabeth Nolan Brown, who is highly critical of anti pornography and prostitution radical feminists long standing relationship, and institutionalized moral crusades, they share with religious fundamentalists.

  33. James Pollock July 3, 2017 at 3:54 pm #

    “Papilo (sic)… James is from Portland.”

    James is from Washington. He most recently lived in Portland in 1970.

    “Radical Feminist played a large and well documented role [… blah, blah, blah …]
    Yes, yes, you see Radical Feminists hiding behind every tree and under every bed.

    “I have to wonder what James must think about the articles Lenore shares written by Elizabeth Nolan Brown”
    He’s never heard of her.

  34. Ada July 3, 2017 at 3:57 pm #

    White female here. I was at the airport once and found a crying kid, who I happened to know! I was his preschool teacher. After asking an airport employee where to go, I started walking with him towards the security area. I saw kids mom then 2 or 3 police officers whisked the kid away from me. And then I walked away. I found myself asking “Well, aren’t they worried I’m abducting him?”

  35. Dingbat July 3, 2017 at 4:31 pm #

    I’ll add one last Little ramble.

    I do not, and have not, liked feminism (especially as it cure stands) the entire 40+ years I’ve been on this earth. Does that mean I hate all feminists or do not believe in equality? Of course not.

    While there are long standing equity feminists that truly respect, I will say the dictionary definition is a simplistic view and comes no where near defining all varieties of feminism. If they were all cut from the same cloth I would not have been witness to The Feminist Wars that raged on for years during my childhood.

    As with anything there are good and bad, and the bad do not want equality. Not even close. Groups of Radical Feminists have been involved in some horrible persecutions of innocent people over the years. One of the biggest criticisms they have faced from other feminists, and the public at large, since the 1970s, is that they push conspiracies and create Hysteria/moral panics in order to establish harsh laws that promote their agenda in the process. This is also discussed in articles about the war on sex trafficking written by Elizabeth Nolan Brown. Articles Lenore is fond of sharing (E.N.B is a Feminist herself).

    Old school/famous anti sex RadFems like Cat Mackinnon are currently trying to have adult/consensual pornography redefined as human/sex trafficking. She tried to have it defined as a civil rights violation/discrimination for women alone in the 1970s & 80s (there is a good Think Progress article about it titled This is how he porn wars end). Cat has wanted to establish the Nordic Model in the U.S for some time. A one sided law that allows prostitutes to advertise and sell as usual but subjects men to answer and purchase to harsh punishments. Does that sound like equality to you? It’s not. Its based on her personal belief that no woman can consent to do porn or prostitution, therefore they are all rape victims and meh must be punished for the rape. The Nordic Model is a harsh shaming tactic meant to break members of society from an act some consider immoral/wrong. That is why fundamentalists are fond of it as well.

    Keep all of this in mind when you read blogs Lenore shares about The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children adding adult porn stars and prostitutes into the stats for child sexual trafficking victims, and creating more of a hysteria around it in the process. It matters.

    Some feminists have long been responsible for the male phobic attitude in this country, and for implementing laws that are harsher on men.

  36. Dingbat July 3, 2017 at 6:08 pm #

    I should have added… this is not how the porn wars end, as the TP article suggests. They are just starting to get good again with radical feminists behind the wheel.

    Gail Dines has been declared the new Andrea Dworkin, Cat MacKinnon’s former partner in censorship, and she has been traveling the globe speaking on the dangers of porn since 2010. Gail, a self proclaimed Marxist RadFem (see mentioned Think Progress article) and women’s studies professor in Boston, not a medical professional, has taken it upon herself to declare pornography a Public Health Crisis that is grooming all the children for a life of sex trafficking.

    Something, according the Gail, horrible and lazy parents who do not care about their children have allowed to happen.

    Of course religious politicians and public figures filed in line and several states have declared porn a public health crisis and started writing legislation to block or ban “obscene content”. Considering the hang up Gail and many others seem to have with rates R movies, I’m curious to see who gets to define what is obscene.

    It’s the same stuff, different day. “Trigger”, pardon “content warnings” were developed so parents could have an guide on what was or was not appropriate for their children. As many warned throughout the 70s & 80s… this would never be enough.

    From an 2016 Atlantic article titled HOW UTAH DECLARED PORNOGRAPHY A PUBLUC HEALTH CRISIS…

    In 2010, Arkansas psychologist Ana Bridges and colleagues scrutinized 304 scenes that they would deem in a scientific journal to be “popular pornographic videos.” The researchers were looking for aggression. It was not rare; 88 percent of the scenes contained what the experts deemed physical aggression, defined in the academic journal as “principally spanking, gagging, and slapping.” Nearly half contained verbal aggression, usually from men toward women, who “most often showed pleasure or responded neutrally to the aggression.”

    To sociologist Gail Dines, a self-identifying radical feminist and “anti-porn advocate,” these findings added to a body of evidence that she deemed conclusive. Dines believes that non-coercive pornography cannot exist in a capitalist society, where sex-based media will always lead to an industry that becomes a violent manifestation of structural inequalities. In The Washington Post this weekend, Dines wrote a column that spread widely: “Is Porn Immoral? That Doesn’t Matter: It’s a Public-Health Crisis.”

    The divisive proclamation was occasioned by a bill passed last month in Utah declaring pornography to be “a public-health crisis.” The bill, like the phrase, traces back to Dines, who has spoken and lectured on the evils of pornography around the world. In 2013, Dines traveled to Reykjavik, where she met with Iceland’s Ministers of health and welfare amid country’s campaign to ban pornography. The move would have put the liberal state–with an openly lesbian prime minister and a gender-pay gap that is the lowest in the world—in the company of Saudi Arabia and the countries where gender disparities are greatest. But it made sense to many as a matter of public health.

    Dines honed this approach—framing pornography not as a subject of moral decree but as an urgent issue of tangible detriment to human bodies and minds—in high-level meetings in Poland and Canada. In 2015, she returned her focus to the U.S., relaunching an advocacy group based in Boston with the new mission to “eradicate porn’s harms because porn has quickly escalated into an overlooked public health crisis.”

    ^^ It’s still an argument of morality. Most of the research they assert is conducted by highly ideological special interest groups with a long history in moral crusades against obscene content. They are simply trying to reframe/rebrand the conversation and promote trafficking hysteria around it, and to implement human trafficking laws surrounding it