Don’t raise your kids in New York City. They will end up running their own adult website and spending all their money on video games.
Don’t raise your kids in Connecticut. They will just steal your car and take joy rides into New York with their friends, who will most likely kill them and leave them in the trunk.
Warn your kids to stay inside on garbage day. Piles of trash almost always have bodies in them.
If your stepson is acting funny, check the cellar for child slaves….
Needless to say, it did not end well. And here is my son who rode the subway alone at 9. He’s fine. – L