Tag Archives | paranoia

And here's Izzy Skenazy, when he took the subway alone. Hmmm.

Parenting Tips from Law & Order SVU

Readers — This McSweeney’s tdftyfhefi post by  Beth Levine and Liz Dancho is soooo good. It’s called “Parenting Tips I Learned from Law & Order: SVU” and includes such advice as: Don’t raise your kids in New York City. They will end up running their own adult website and spending all their money on video games. […]

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Came for the Car Race, Stayed for the Security Theater!

Came for the Car Race, Stayed for the Security Theater!

Readers fkzinbdazs — Here’s what happens when we panic, whether about security or about bumbling the security: Dear Free-Range Kids: Something that happened this weekend made me think of you. My husband, our almost 3-year-old son and I have been going to the Indianapolis 500 since 2011, when the little one was only 9 months old. […]

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Because It’s So Nerve-racking Being 2 Whole Feet Away from Your Baby?

Readers nyydhehfds — This note comes to us from Nathalie Delage up north, where “Canadian Tire” apparently sells paranoia, too! – L. Dear Free Range Kids: Have you seen these baby carseat videocameras?  They stream live video from the backseat to a monitor you attach to your windshield like a GPS.  I wonder what exactly […]

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How terrifying!

Does Ice Cream Man = Pervert?

Hi Readers! There’s the boogey man and then there’s the ice cream man. But thanks to a country suffused with predator panic, the two are fused together like the twin sticks of a  Popsicle. It’s the same if you are guy and you want to work in day care, or as a birthday party clown, […]

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Voters in the School? That’s Not Safe!

Hi hezfhrbdtn Folks! Love this column, which ran in The Post-Star in Glens Falls, NY. I think you’ll see why. – L. Reading, Writing and Looming Fears by Ken Tingley The Warrensburg Central School District is saving its children from the clutches of voters. Swear to God. Its board of education voted unanimously against a county proposal […]

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Warning! Divorced Dad at Home During Sleepover!!!

Hi nitasiirre Folks! Here’s why I rag on the parenting magazines. Not only do they obsess about every little detail of parenting as if it’s a make-or-break  decision, but often they indulge in Worst-First thinking (dreaming up the worst possible scenario and proceeding as if it is likely to happen). Here’s a shining example, cribbed […]

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There's Hope for Mayberry Yet!

There’s Hope for Mayberry Yet!

Hi Folks! Talk about a beacon of hope.  A Hollywood ending! Success! Get this: As you may recall, a few years back, a mom from small-town Mississippi wrote nkkeitkzsh to this blog in a quandry. After teaching her 10-year-old son the route to soccer, she’d let him walk there — less than a mile — […]

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Dear Abby: Am I Paranoid Enough?

Hi kfsdrifked Folks — If you ever wonder why parents seem so terrified these days, here’s why: We live in a society filled with more paranoia than a convention of Moon Landing conspiracists. Below is a prime example of us being told by a trusted “authority” to always conjure up the least likely but most […]

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