Dear Parents, Please Come to Our 45-Min Class Party…With Your Background Check

Hi Readers! It’s that festive, super-suspicious time of the year, as evidenced by this invite, from the Riverside Intermediate School in Fishers, Indiana. You know — 2011′s Safest City in America. I guess it’s filled with the kind of upstanding citizens who need to be vetted by the state police before helping with kids’ class parties. – L

Hello Parents, I hope everyone is doing well.  You all signed up to help out in some way with our classroom at Meet the Teacher night.  I realize that everyone’s schedule is busy this time of year, but we will be having our Winter parties next Friday from 12:45-1:30 and I wanted to give you the opportunity to help plan the party.  I have found that 6th graders generally like 2-3 short activities, some food provided by the PTO, and time to talk with their friends.  Some ideas for the party include group relays (dressing students up as Snowmen), Minute to Win It games, or Bingo/Word search etc.  Don’t worry if this does not work with your schedule, but please know you are more than welcome to join the fun.  You must have a background check on file to participate at our school.  Mrs. Kiley has the list if you are not sure.

Hit reply all to let everyone know who is willing and able to run the party that day.  We have 36 in our class!

Thanks so much.

Mrs. X., Sixth Grade Language Arts and Social Studies

Note, I am not blaming the teacher, who has to abide by school regs. I’m blaming a school or district that thinks that without these background checks, the kids are in danger, even in their classroom, filled with other students and adults, at a party, for 45 minutes. It is simply not true. Not true? NOT TRUE.

When we keep acting like there is some real safety rationale for such absurdities, we go through the looking glass. Which, by the way, may have sharp edges. Beware of those, too. In fact,  beware of all non-existent dangers, if you want your kids to be safe. – L

Who would possibly allow their kid to spend 45 minutes at a school party with NON-VETTED adults in a town like this???

Who would possibly allow their kid to spend 45 minutes in a classroom party with NON-VETTED adults in a town like this???

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