Folks, this is a MOVIE, not your local MALL.

“A Stranger Looking to Kidnap and Sex Traffic a Child Is Highly Unlikely” – Roseville, California Police

Looks like the Roseville, California, police department got a little fed up with social media posts going on about local “sex trafficking kidnappers” and “suspicious people.” And so it came out with this amazing document on its Facebook page: True facts about the fears its citizens feel and perpetuate.

Kudos to a department that seems determined to do its job. If called, it will investigate. If not called, it will not conjecture about non crimes. And in the meantime, it will do what it can to counter a culture determined to freak out over fake danger.

City of Roseville, California Police Department

This week an account about a man acting suspiciously in a grocery store parking lot in Roseville has been widely shared on social media. We have a few thoughts about this and similar accounts of scary situations that are posted and shared on social media in our area from time to time.

First, anytime you see something suspicious, or you’re worried about safety, please call the police department immediately. An officer will be dispatched to the area as soon as possible to check it out. There might be an innocent explanation for the suspicious person’s presence, or the person might indeed be “creepy”—but we’ll never know unless you call. There are investigative steps officers can take if they’re called promptly, like interviewing the suspicious person if they can be found, interviewing other people in the area, and checking surveillance video systems in the area to see if they captured any images of the suspicious person or their vehicle. It doesn’t appear that police were ever called about any of the suspicious incidents mentioned in the recent widely-shared post.

Second, the post mentions that the suspicious man was probably a human trafficker looking to kidnap children.This is highly unlikely, as kidnapping by strangers is a rare crime in the United States. Stranger abductions of children are so frightening and so unusual that when they do happen, they make national news. According to national research, children taken by strangers or slight acquaintances represent only one-hundredth of 1 percent (.01%) of all missing children.

Here are some facts about human/sex trafficking in our area:

1. Does sex trafficking happen in our area? Yes, as it does in most populated areas. The Roseville Police Department actively investigates and conducts proactive operations to address prostitution activity and to discourage it in our city. Pimps, johns and “free-agent” adult prostitutes are arrested. Juvenile prostitutes, or any adult found to have been forced into prostitution activity by a trafficker are treated as victims. We work closely with Stand Up Placer to connect potential victims with confidential services and support.

2. Are adults and children kidnapped by traffickers and forced into sex work? It would be rare, and we haven’t encountered it here. The Roseville Police Department has never taken a report of anyone being kidnapped by a stranger and forced into the sex trade. Our vice officers have interviewed numerous prostitutes and exploited victims over the years, and asked them how they got into their situations. None have said they were originally kidnapped. In our experience, most human traffickers recruit vulnerable people through a grooming/courtship process, developing a relationship, promising love, shelter or security, and then coercing them into prostitution. Often drug dependency is involved in keeping the victim attached to the pimp/trafficker.

3. Are Roseville’s retail areas prime spots for sex trafficking recruiters? We recently conducted undercover operations in retail areas, and found no evidence that human traffickers were there recruiting strangers.We recently conducted undercover operations in retail areas, and found no evidence that human traffickers were there recruiting strangers. It’s more accurate to say that lots of people go to public places like shopping centers and entertainment venues to meet people, network for business, or find dates (or, as we all know, to steal stuff!) Sometimes those contacts are welcome, and sometimes they’re not. If someone is making unwelcome advances to you and not getting the message to back off, walk away. If someone is making you feel unsafe, give us a call immediately, and we’ll send an officer to check them out.

In other words: Quit calling wolf, especially when you are looking at a cat.

.

This is a MOVIE, not your local MALL.

.

, , , , , ,

52 Responses to “A Stranger Looking to Kidnap and Sex Traffic a Child Is Highly Unlikely” – Roseville, California Police

  1. Theresa Hall September 18, 2017 at 11:54 am #

    The sex trafficking people don’t have to work to get victims what with social media and bad Foster homes. The kids in those will take any port in their rotten homes that gets them away. Maybe some Foster Care is good but a clean house is better than one filled with corruption. Plus they should quit avoid telling kids why they were grabbed . The truth even when ugly will stand a lot better than a lie.

  2. Dienne September 18, 2017 at 12:03 pm #

    “The sex trafficking people don’t have to work to get victims what with … bad Foster homes.”

    Right, because no child has ever run away from a bad family of origin. Just bad foster homes.

  3. Melissa J September 18, 2017 at 12:19 pm #

    Dienne,

    I enjoy being active on this site, and I realize you are active here too. But increasingly your posts are moving toward “troll” territory. They seem primarily aimed at contradicting other people’s posts. The snark and sarcasm really detracts from why we are here… advocating for and discussing POSITIVE and healthy development for children via giving them independence. You are clearly very intelligent and have some great ideas, it just gets clouded by the constant negativity. Could you consider trying to make more of your posts supportive of others? Thanks very much.

  4. free range kids, free range mom September 18, 2017 at 12:27 pm #

    I appreciate the police noting how extremely rare is stranger abduction. We can not live our lives in fear of very low probability events.

    Le’s be concerned with higher probability events: that our children will grow up to be obese or have an anxiety disorder from not getting exposed to manageable danger and challenges while young.

    My twin boys age 7, have told me that if they are not accompanied by a parent when outside a stranger will kidnap them. Their father told them this enough that they believed him. Well, their father, my ex-husband suffered from life-long depression and 3 anxiety disorders. But I won’t have to worry about him infecting the children’s with his anxieties from nowon, because last month he hung himself in his apartment.

    When we humans evolved we faced real dangers. Children learned early how to face danger and be resilient. Our adults lives are so safe but we are so anxious and depressed that the leading cause of death for young and middle-aged adults is suicide. Think about it. If you are worried that a danger may happen to your children, worry about them dying in a car accident or committing suicide.

  5. Dienne September 18, 2017 at 12:34 pm #

    Um, sorry, but when someone smears foster parents en masse, without recognition that kids are in foster care for a reason to begin with, I’m afraid I have to say something. Foster parenting is very difficult and often thankless work. Yes, I suppose there are some who are in it for the pittance foster families get paid, but most are in it because they care about kids and want to give them a better shot than what life handed them out of the starting gate.

  6. James Pollock September 18, 2017 at 12:34 pm #

    http://www.freerangekids.com/category/censorship-2/

    hypocrite

  7. Rebel mom September 18, 2017 at 12:54 pm #

    Roseville, CA is so white, bourgeois and moneyed they have nothing, truly nothing to worry about. I’m not a bit surprised the Starbucks moms that live there are gasping online about predators. Glad the local PD is putting facts out there. I wish them luck dealing with their primadonna population!

  8. Delaine September 18, 2017 at 1:04 pm #

    The police and media started this mass hysteria and now they are having to back peddle on all of the lies they have told over the years.

  9. Helen Armstrong September 18, 2017 at 1:16 pm #

    James, if you could try not to come across in such a way that sounds like you think you’re more intelligent, better educated, and more knowledgeable than the rest of us (essentially, a know-it-all), then perhaps your comments wouldn’t be removed (if that is, in fact, what is happening to them). Just saying…

  10. Kimberly Albertson September 18, 2017 at 1:44 pm #

    I really wish people would actually read the article/post/whatever-it-might-be rather than just the headline. I linked the RPD FB post on my local nextdoor app and the very first response thanked me, then said that parents should all watch Taken 1-3 for an eye-opening experience in regards to protecting our children. Clearly the responder didn’t ACTUALLY read the post.

  11. Heather September 18, 2017 at 1:57 pm #

    This is a fantastic post from the police department.

  12. SKL September 18, 2017 at 2:28 pm #

    Good post!

  13. Theresa Hall September 18, 2017 at 2:42 pm #

    Dienne they’re Plenty of kids that went in over stupid stuff like asking for a second opinion for your sick kid. Cps waste time insisting that a doctor who says just a birthmark must be watch for weeks. There are kids that have abuse that is plain as your nose and they blow it. Then they say we don’t have time. Well maybe if you weren’t chasing after kids for being outside playing you have more time for those who really need you.

  14. James Pollock September 18, 2017 at 2:52 pm #

    “if you could try not to come across in such a way that sounds like you think you’re more intelligent, better educated, and more knowledgeable than the rest of us”

    Your advice is, in order to not be censored here, I have to pretend to be stupid, uneducated, and ignorant?

    I’d have preferred to share ideas with other people who are smart, educated, and knowledgeable.

    Not here, apparently. Stuff just randomly disappears. Is it just mine, or are other people’s ideas being censored, too? Funny thing is, every time I ask this, it disappears. Thinking back, there are other contributors who’ve also abruptly disappeared from the site. Now I know why.

    Addressing the actual subject of this particular blog post, what strikes me about it is that A) this particular police department has time to scan social media posts about things that were not reported to them, and B) has its own social media presence.

    Shouldn’t they be too busy patrolling the mean streets to be browsing FB?

  15. A Reader September 18, 2017 at 2:56 pm #

    Just this morning, my phone buzzed with a local Amber Alert. Now of course it’s terrible that a child has been kidnapped, but sure enough, just like every Amber Alert that’s shown up on my phone since whenever phones started doing that, it was a custodial dispute, as like 95% of kidnappings are. My local friends are all freaking out and “so scary!” and “today’s world!” etc, but the fact is, this is not some scary creeper but an estranged father. Of course, that doesn’t mean the child isn’t in danger- there’s probably a good reason this dad isn’t supposed to be with his kid- and I certainly hope it turns out alright for everyone. If by some chance I see the car the alert said to look out for, of course I’ll call the cops. But I’m certainly not worried about this kid being trafficked and this has nothing to do with strangers.

  16. lollipoplover September 18, 2017 at 3:09 pm #

    @James Pollock- Why does your name show up with a picture of Lenore next to it?!

    Lenore (not James Pollock) great post!

  17. bmommyx2 September 18, 2017 at 3:09 pm #

    I know this mom & don’t think she is paranoid. That said I do think the police FB post is a good reminder to everyone. Maybe they were not up to no good or maybe they were & it wasn’t sex trafficking. We should all tune into our instinct & if something seems off & makes us uncomfortable we should take precautions. Not sure what it’s like living in NY or other places, but in California most of us live on our cars, it takes time buckling up little ones into car seats & that time it takes to secure the kids (I think she has 3) leaves us vulnerable. I’ve had people be unusually friendly in a parking lot & then follow me into a store, not shopping & then follow me out, I’m not taking a chance & will ask a store employee to accompany me till I leave. While I don’t believe evil lurks around every corner it can be out there. Thanks Lenore for all you do.

  18. Steve N September 18, 2017 at 3:12 pm #

    @Dienne
    “Um, sorry, but when someone smears foster parents en masse, without recognition that kids are in foster care for a reason to begin with, I’m afraid I have to say something.”

    Fine, then say something. Just don’t say it with the snarky “I’m going to smack you down because I’m smarter than everybody else” attitude that you display here so often.

    I’m completely with Melissa J on this one. And by the way, quit starting your posts with “Um”. That’s the ultimate troll word.

  19. Helen Armstrong September 18, 2017 at 3:48 pm #

    James, don’t be thick! I said try not to sound like you think you’re better than the rest of us – I didn’t say you actually are! There’s a clear distinction between *thinking* you’re smarter, etc. and actually *being* so (which I don’t think you are but I’m not saying you’re less intelligent, educated and knowledgeable, either ).

  20. Papilio September 18, 2017 at 3:49 pm #

    I find it quite remarkable that everyone seems to ignore what Theresa said and instead just hates on Dienne. Sure, Dienne can be over the top as well, but in this case I felt she had a point.

    @Lenore: Speaking of creeps, why is James Pillock using your picture?? If you did remove some of his comments, please keep doing so… or at least until he stops doing it.

  21. Michael Fandal September 18, 2017 at 3:54 pm #

    Finally a jurisdiction which has its head on straight

  22. Papilio September 18, 2017 at 3:56 pm #

    Just be fair about it!

  23. Theresa Hall September 18, 2017 at 4:00 pm #

    I wish for a world where sex trafficking was just a tall tales.. by the way I did not say all foster parents are bad but cps should get rid of all the rotten apples in their barrel and focus on those who truly need help instead some kids playing outside or other silly things that waste their time.

  24. Dienne September 18, 2017 at 4:47 pm #

    I’m sorry, but I just get very frustrated with the irrational level of fear and loathing of all things related to CPS and the foster system on this site, with little consideration given to how kids end up in the system in the first place. People on here seem to think that every kid who gets removed from their parents is just a fluke, a one-off unfortunate situation of otherwise loving parents making a mistake or a controversial parenting decision. I’ve had a fair amount of experience with “the system” and my experience has been exactly the opposite. The vast majority of case workers and foster parents I’ve met have been decent, committed, caring people who are doing a job that no one else wants to do but everyone is willing to blame them for how they do it.

    I’ve mentioned before here about how I used to work at a residential facility and every one of our kids was, in fact, horrifically abused and traumatized, but their families made it all out to be “the system”. Since “the system” is bound by confidentiality laws, only these messed up families are getting to tell their stories, so of course it seems like “the system” is messed up. But to whatever extent “the system” is messed up, it’s largely because they’re dealing with some of the most messed up families. The situations that get posted about here make news precisely because they’re the rare exceptions.

    One of my coworkers (and good friend) from said residential facility and his husband went on to foster (and later adopt) three brothers from a very chaotic, abusive home. Despite his 12 years of experience working with kids like them, they still struggled. Those boys had been so traumatized and had such deep trust issues that they reacted to everything on a dime. They fought with other kids, they had all kinds of problems in school, they physically attacked adults, they ran away, you name it, they did it. The poor, innocent parents made it all out like it was because my friend and his husband were a gay couple and therefore not fit parents. If only those boys could get out of that “bad foster home” and be returned to their rightful, loving parents.

    It’s so easy to make snap judgments about the mean old fosters, but foster parents are just cleaning up messes they inherited. My friend’s sons are now just launching into the world and, while they’re not the stars of their class or likely to be wildly successful, they are decent, stable young men who now have a chance at a normal life, which they wouldn’t have had without CPS and the foster system.

    P.S. Now Papilio’s name is showing up with Lenore’s picture, so I think that’s just a fluke.

  25. David N. Brown September 18, 2017 at 5:04 pm #

    I was interested to find that there was another scare associated w/ Roseville in 2015. In the earlier incident, police did at least confirm taking a report from a real victim. On the other hand, the publicized account claimed that a female was involved in the “abduction”, an unlikely detail that previously cropped up in the “mad gasser” affair.

    A further and unfortunate irony is that there is a small chance that someone hanging around acting strangely could be working their way up to a kidnapping or something equally alarming. The chances that such individuals would or could be involved in organized crime, however, are nil.

  26. Meg September 18, 2017 at 5:18 pm #

    I would share, but no one would believe me.

    I mean, there are sex traffickers in IKEA nowadays. *eyeroll* And anyone who even smiles at your toddler in the grocery store probably plans to kidnap them, despite Mom being right there, numerous witnesses, security cameras, and security at every door.

    *sarcasm intended*

  27. Theresa Hall September 18, 2017 at 5:18 pm #

    Yes some foster are great people even with kids who need a lot of help. Some are not nice people and they don’t deserve to be near kids much less care for them. Some these bad ones are deserving of nothing but jail. I would love if all kids get loving homes whether foster or not.

  28. pentamom September 18, 2017 at 5:23 pm #

    “Your advice is, in order to not be censored here, I have to pretend to be stupid, uneducated, and ignorant? ”

    I think she was going more for humility and respect in your tone.

  29. Margot September 18, 2017 at 5:26 pm #

    @Dienne. Thanks for your last post. I also get frustrated about the propensity of this site and any post by Lenore to be hi-jacked by CPS haters. I have recently quit my CPS job after 22 years of hard bloody work where I was constantly under-resourced and stressed to the eye-balls (and not just by the job, but also by the distrust and misinformation circulating in the community and the media, miscontruing the actions and motivations of my colleagues and I). And just for the record, I can remember ever single child I removed in my 22 years, because the fact is that there were just not very many. And as for the foster carers, there were a few disasters (assessing them for suitability in the first place is not an exact science) but for the most part, they were gold. Only a saint would take on some of the traumatised kids I did eventually remove.
    So please Dienne, feel free to call out ill-considered and reactive comments. I’m with you.
    And moving on……great post from the Police Dep’t. And by the way, why would anyone think that police shouldn’t be using Facebook. It’s the greatest gift to policing since CCTV. I used it in CPS to constuct genograms for kids, help them stay connected with family, keep tabs on which drug dealers their parents were hanging out with and how often they were out on benders and other hugely useful information. It’s extraordinary what information people reveal in a public forum.

  30. Donald September 18, 2017 at 6:31 pm #

    @Margot

    I’m also a CPS hater – sort of. I condemn them but I stick up for them. I’m not trying to be a fence sitter or two-faced. I just want to point out that there is a 3rd side that often gets ignored.

    The media loves to create headlines such as:
    3 YR OLD DIES BECAUSE AUTHORITIES IGNORED WARNINGS!
    and
    WHY DID THE SYSTEM FAIL TO PROTECT 3 YEAR OLD TIMMY?
    and
    WHY DID CPS IGNORE THE WARNINGS?

    The news does this because it sells. However, I don’t blame the news. They are only a supplier. Besides, the amount of sensationalism that they put on is minuscule in comparison to the amount that social media uses. They then do a 180-degree turn and spit as much venom at CPS as they possibly can!

    I’m saying that the demand for infotainment is why CPS is between a rock and a hard place! This is why there is nothing they can do right in the eyes of the public.

  31. Papilio September 18, 2017 at 6:36 pm #

    To be clear, this comment, with Lenore’s pic, isn’t mine:

    Papilio September 18, 2017 at 3:56 pm #
    Just be fair about it!

  32. Donald September 18, 2017 at 6:46 pm #

    @Theresa

    This is similar to the CPS problem that I explained above. The terrible foster parents and children get 500 times more news coverage and Facebook likes.

  33. Donald September 18, 2017 at 6:57 pm #

    “cps should get rid of all the rotten apples in their barrel”

    All of the foster condemning ensures that there are fewer good apples that decide to become a foster parent.

  34. Theresa Hall September 18, 2017 at 9:32 pm #

    I don’t know complaining about the bad apples makes it harder to get good apples but I do think the old saying is true. All it takes for evil to thrive is for good men to do nothing. Sometimes the people in charge do choose to fuss more than necessary which will take time away from those that need it. I don’t think any of us want bad apples anywhere in cps and around kids. If they can be gotten rid of even if it means less foster homes then for the kids we have do the right thing even if it hard.

  35. Donald September 18, 2017 at 10:21 pm #

    Imagine this

    A person is a ‘good apple’. They decide to become a foster parent and they research it. They then find out that that as a general rule, foster parents are looked down upon. They then decide that they no longer want to be a foster parent.

  36. lightbright September 19, 2017 at 12:28 am #

    “First, anytime you see something suspicious, or you’re worried about safety, please call the police department immediately.”

    And this, right here, is how we distinguish a legitimate suspicion from a social media drama-monger. Anybody with genuine concern calls the police. Those seeking attention just crowd source a tall tale. Thank you, Roseville PD, for bringing some sanity to the public!

  37. David N. Brown September 19, 2017 at 1:15 am #

    @Lightbright: In my opinion, if there’s no record of a call to police, the odds are that it’s either a calculated hoax or the work of somebody with a loose enough grip on reality to mix rumor and “urban legend” into perceived memory. There are also, as I allude to above, a small but nontrivial number of cases where people experience encounters that appear either hallucinatory or paranormal. I have been particularly interested in rumors involving traffickers supposedly knocking out their victims with perfume samples, which makes no sense in light of biochemistry but do have parallels to the case of the “Mad Gasser of Mattoon”.

  38. Rebel mom September 19, 2017 at 2:37 am #

    Focus everyone!!

    Maybe fewer comments would be removed if we could all have a conversation thread that stayed on topic. Seems like it’s fairly often that a tangentially related topic derails the comment section and people start trolling each other and nitpicking.

    Save your energy for that kind of thing for Thanksgiving and your annoying brother in law (or fill in the blank with appropriate annoying relative).

  39. Theresa Hall September 19, 2017 at 8:36 am #

    Donald we all have good and bad sides and it up to each of us which is in charge. Those who choose to let their bad side be in charge are bad apples. I don’t know if they do bad things like not bothering to care for a kid basic needs or even rape it because they don’t want to care about the kids or something else. Those who take good care of kids and try to treat them right are good apples. I think if cps even gets a hint that there is a bad apple among them they should check it out asap especially if save the kids. If they find out no bad apple well they can just say sorry like they do to everyone they accuse falsely.

  40. Donna September 19, 2017 at 8:48 am #

    “I think if cps even gets a hint that there is a bad apple among them they should check it out asap especially if save the kids.”

    They do.

  41. Roger the Shrubber September 19, 2017 at 12:28 pm #

    Ignoring request to tone it down by the owner of a bloging site will get your bloviating posts deleted. Who woulda thunk?

  42. lollipoplover September 19, 2017 at 1:26 pm #

    RE: Talking to strangers- far more likely than meeting sex traffickers is realing most people are good and there’s a lot we miss out on in life by living on fear.

    https://www.today.com/parents/mom-recounts-sweet-encounter-between-her-2-year-old-old-t116412

  43. Crazy Cat Lady September 19, 2017 at 2:08 pm #

    So glad to see this! One of my Facebook groups had a “conversation” last week about a guy who was “harassing” the poster’s sister at a local grocery store. He persisted in trying to talk to two preschool kids the mom was putting in the car. When she got them in and locked the door and went around to her side, he followed her and said he had a puppy he wanted to show to the kids.

    I will agree, that perhaps something was not right with the guy. But the poster refused to say if the police had been called or not, but was “warning” everyone. Which of course means “grab the pitchforks folks!” If it is bad enough people need to be warned, perhaps the police should be called. In all honesty, it sounded like this man may have been off his meds (I only gave the shortened version above,) and he may indeed need some help. It wasn’t until I pointed out that posts like that DO result in the pitchforks coming out (at least verbally) that people finally calmed down.

    That event was on the heals of another, where a man was at a birthday party in the park with his two kids. Time to go, and two kids were left. He offered them a ride home. A nearby mom took his photo and called the police, saying the guy’s kids were not responsive in the car and she was worried that he was going to take the other two. He was arrested. Released after a day with no charges. His kids didn’t know what to say to the woman questioning them, they were on their devices and tired. (Apparently just a calm yes, this is my dad, is not good enough.) The two kids lived across the road and their parents like for them to free range while they sit on the porch in full sight. The dad of the two kids who were asked if they needed a ride apologized (though he was not involved or had any say in anything,) but did say he was glad the police investigated and that the other father was not charged. No idea how this is going to effect the dad who was arrested…..or his kids. Not good is my guess.

  44. Beth September 19, 2017 at 2:45 pm #

    Why would anyone be “glad” that a man, whose child was an invited guest to a birthday party, offered two kids at the *same* birthday party a ride home?

    And why would the police arrest a man in this situation? Was there any investigation?

    Maybe I’m misreading the story, but this makes no sense to me.

  45. Donald September 19, 2017 at 7:26 pm #

    “I think if cps even gets a hint that there is a bad apple among them they should check it out asap especially if save the kids. If they find out no bad apple well they can just say sorry like they do to everyone they accuse falsely”.

    CPS is hated no matter what they do. People love to feel outraged. Nobody can do a good job under these conditions and we can’t expect CPS to be able to. The news only prints bad news because this is what sell. I.E. This is what a majority of what people want to hear.

    “All it takes for evil to thrive is for good men to do nothing.”

    I agree with this. I also agree with speaking out against atrocities. However, if atrocities are the only thing that gets reported about CPS or fostering, the speaking out loses its impact. This is because so many are complaining about everything that they do. They are damned if they do and damned if they don’t. The tsunami of complaints cancel each other out and they become ‘white noise’. I compare this to a bed of nails. Each complaint is a ‘nail’.

    http://www.psychologyinpictures.com/wp-content/uploads/step-on-nails1-url.jpg

    All it takes for evil to thrive is for good men to do nothing. I agree with this. Something needs to be done and more than just complaining.

    However, I can’t criticize too much because that’s mostly what I’m doing. I’m complaining about the complainers that insist that there is nothing that CPS/fosterers can do that’s right.

  46. Crazy Cat Lady September 19, 2017 at 9:18 pm #

    The two kids were not actually invited to the party, but were playing in the same area as the party kids. Apparently, the woman who saw him with the two kids, felt that he was trying too hard to get them into his car with his own kids to take them home where ever they lived. When the woman confronted him and got loud and threatened to call the police, he “left in a hurry.” And…the woman who called the police said she was worried about his own two kids in the car, that they were not answering her questions and she was worried about him as well.

    I should also say, our area has a very high number of high functioning and very smart adults on the spectrum. It is very possible that this guy knew he should do something, but didn’t have the “expected” skills to deal with the issue. Or….he just got scared when she said she was calling the police and just wanted to get his kids home safe.

  47. R September 20, 2017 at 2:56 pm #

    A man (stranger) attempted to kidnap me as a child from my own front yard. He was masturbating in his car when he tried to get me to come in car (sex offender who didn’t get caught this time). So while it is rare – it happens and when it happens to you it doesn’t feel rare. My kids know what happened to me and they aren’t terrified of strangers. They do know the signs to look for though.

    This blog is very dismissive of those who have had the kind of experiences that cause these fears. Just because something is rare doesn’t mean it is NOT going to happen to YOUR kids. No child is SAFE anywhere or anytime – you have to figure out how to parent with that reality and where the balance between risk and living life for your family. We also have an obligation as a society to try and help kids who are being hurt and neglected. It’s a fine line. I’m concerned that this blog is willing to let those kids fall through the cracks because they are so afraid their right to not hire a baby sitter for their 10 year old might be infringed.

    Not all kids raised with the freedoms you support benefit from them. I sure as hell didn’t.

  48. AmyP September 20, 2017 at 3:35 pm #

    R

    I understand a lot of what you’re saying. Yes, being kidnapped off the streets to be trafficked is rare. Yes, people are out on the sex offender registry for reasons that make no sense. I am in agreement with all that, but I do also see from comments and what have you that there are many that think that sex crimes in general are rare and that we therefore shouldn’t be concerned with them. Everybody’s definition of rare is different, but as far as I am concerned child molestation, rape, sexual harassment happen far too frequently to be referred to as rare events. In my opinion, people are sickenly dismissive or in denial about the amount of women and children that are victimized. But the other problem is when we focus on certain events we are not addressing real issues. There has to be a balance between fearing there’s a sex trafficker on every corner and acknowledging that yes, domestic violence, rape, child molestation happen far too frequently within ones own home. Also, having compassion for how people’s experiences shape them. My father molested me for four years before he finally got caught. Then again in my teens I was drugged and raped. The mistrust that comes from that. Those experiences even cause you to have thoughts about your own husband. Like, if my mom didn’t know maybe I don’t either. I do think we need to curb our hysteria and understand that we cannot live our lives by what statistically probably won’t happen, but we can’t be so dismissive of what actually does happen. And not rarely.

  49. lightbright September 20, 2017 at 3:37 pm #

    My view of CPS is analogous to my views on both modern education and corporate, for-profit health care. In each of these cases, you have a rabidly dysfunctional System with hard-working, underpaid people — social workers, nurses, and teachers, respectively — caught in the crossfire. Many of these professionals began as idealistic and feel jaded by a system that doesn’t always support them. It’s fair to call out systemic flaws but unfair to demonize individuals doing their necessary jobs.

  50. Dingbat September 24, 2017 at 9:52 pm #

    @Donald

    There is a shortage in foster parents, which is sad, but I would hope people wouldn’t shun it for that reason. There would be multiple concerns today, with how weirded out people are about kids.

    I know 8 children that have been raised or are being raised by wonderful foster parents who have fought tooth and nail to keep the kids, brothers and sisters, together. I know 4 who were raised by their aunt, who was a widow raising her own 3 kids alone. She kept her nieces and nephews together, after their 2 oldest siblings suffered 3rd degree burns and had to be put in care facilities (Mom & dad were addicts who left the kids alone most of the day & night and the house caught on fire. The 6 & 8 year olds got the baby, tots and 4 year old out but were burnt when they went back in). She was the only one willing to do this.

    I think most are aware the conversations here are centered around the excesses of departments and paranoia gripping parents, who are CPS employees, police officers, legislators, etc. When it comes to teen prostitution most here are aware that the majority of those involved are runaways from group homes, foster homes and CPS custody. That in not way condemns all. It’s a fact and one that can’t be ignored, but at least I don’t see conspiracy theorists here that believe CPS is pimping out 2 year olds to trafficking rings.

    There have always been bad parents and bad foster parents. Some are just in it for a check. It’s not the majority, but it happens. Kids have been removed from bad homes only be killed by the grandparents they were placed with.

    I don’t assume that every teen is running from a bad foster home. I think after time in a bad home, and then being shifted around many think they can do better on their own.

  51. Dingbat September 24, 2017 at 10:23 pm #

    @ A Reader

    99% of kids abducted (I don’t even think that’s a fair word to use) by parents are back home safe and sound within hours. The majority are not in danger at all. This typically happens during bitter divorces/custody disputes. I think some are terrified they will never see their kids again, some are worried about what the other parent is telling them, and I would not doubt some are set up.

    Mothers attenptinh to report their children as abducted after the father is 5-10 minutes late when returning them is incredibly common, especially if the divorce is in progress. Many say they are instructed to report it by their lawyers.

    Out of the 1% that is not quickly returned, there are some who are a danger. They did have custody removed for a very valid reason.

  52. Dingbat September 24, 2017 at 10:25 pm #

    ^ Bless you! I think my phone sneezed. That should be attempt to