Hi Readers — Just had my first cuppa coffee, along with my first “Arghhhh!” (Some people have a donut, I have apoplexy.) Here is what inspired my gnashing and thrashing, from the One Step Ahead folks:
The Wrap Strap. A wide, squishy Velcro safety belt you bring along to the grocery store to strap your kid more LUXURIOUSLY into the shopping cart seat. Quoth the web site: “No more broken, stiff, icky shopping cart belts — give baby a clean, cushy harness that’s hers alone!”
Hey, while we’re at it, why not give her a clean, cushy world that’s hers alone? Why should our kids have to use anything communal at all? Think of the germs! The tawdriness! The fact that someone else may have touched or even teethed it. Not for OUR kids! Our children deserve a bubble of their own — clean and cushy and not to be shared!
That is the mandate of so many “kid friendly” products — friendly to exactly ONE kid, distrusting the world filled with all the rest. (And here I swear I will NOT go into a rave about another product I just found on One Step Ahead’s home page: A juice box holder. WEREN’T JUICE BOXES DESIGNED TO BE EASY TO HOLD? THEY ARE BOXES!!!! HOW ABOUT A BOX FOR THE JUICE BOX HOLDER? HOW ABOUT A BOX FOR THE BOX THAT HOLDS THE JUICE BOX HOLDER? HOW ABOUT AN EXTRA ARM YOU CAN GRAFT ONTO YOUR BABY SO SHE CAN HOLD THE JUICE BOX HOLDER WHILE NOT LOSING VALUABLE EDU-MOMENTS PLAYING WITH HER SHAPE-SORTING-COUNTING-SPELLING-BABY’S-FIRST-ALGEBRA GAME? HOW ABOUT…I walk off some of my coffee?) — L