Readers — Yesterday I asked you to ponder why the government is (or, apparently, MAY be) destroying its brand-new “Just Move!” stamps that show kids doing things like skateboarding, jumping into the water and doing headstands. The real reason is that when they were shown to President’s Council on Fitness, Sports & Nutrition, as well as the “Let’s Move” team, they worried that the skateboarder wasn’t wearing knee pads, the swimmer was doing a cannonball (patently unsafe!), and the headstand girl wasn’t wearing a helmet…which is the weirdest worry of all. Have you EVER seen someone doing a headstand wearing a helmet? It’s like wearing mittens to sew.
“This recall epitomizes the culture of legal fear: no risk too small to regulate, legislate, and sue our way out of,” says Ben Miller at Common Good, the non-profit fighting the good fight against ridiculous regulations. When it comes to pernicious influences in our children’s lives, he adds, “Do postage stamps belong on that list?”
To some bureaucrats, apparently they do. So thank you for all your guesses yesterday as to why the government is so worried about them, including:
None of the kids are carrying water bottles!
Because they lack mouths and noses and eyes and therefore they should all be intubated and in the ICU?
I think I can see the top of the head belonging to a child sexual predator in the Stretch stamp.
The swimmer has no life jacket.
Juggling choking hazards!
.00000000000000001% of the population might get aroused from seeing these images of cartoon kids wearing shorts and bathing suits which would put ALL kids in danger.
That girl is going to hang herself with the jumprope.
The climber needs a full OSHA-approved high work safety harness and three spotters.
And the idea that I found most disturbingly plausible of all:
It is because their parents aren’t in the picture watching their every move?