Your Wacky Answers to “Why Is The Gov’t Destroying Stamps that Show Kids Playing?”

Readers — Yesterday I asked you to ponder why the government is (or, apparently, MAY be) destroying its brand-new “Just Move!”  stamps that show kids doing things like skateboarding, jumping into the water and doing headstands. The real reason is that when they were shown to President’s Council on Fitness, Sports & Nutrition, as well as the “Let’s Move” team, they worried that the skateboarder wasn’t wearing knee pads, the swimmer was doing a cannonball (patently unsafe!),  and the headstand girl wasn’t wearing a helmet…which is the weirdest worry of all. Have you EVER seen someone doing a headstand wearing a helmet? It’s like wearing mittens to sew.

“This recall epitomizes the culture of legal fear: no risk too small to regulate, legislate, and sue our way out of,” says Ben Miller at Common Good, the non-profit fighting the good fight against ridiculous regulations. When it comes to pernicious influences in our children’s lives, he adds, “Do postage stamps belong on that list?”

To some bureaucrats, apparently they do. So thank you for all your guesses yesterday as to why the government is so worried about them,  including:

None of the kids are carrying water bottles!

Because they lack mouths and noses and eyes and therefore they should all be intubated and in the ICU?

I think I can see the top of the head belonging to a child sexual predator in the Stretch stamp.

The swimmer has no life jacket.

Juggling choking hazards!

.00000000000000001% of the population might get aroused from seeing these images of cartoon kids wearing shorts and bathing suits which would put ALL kids in danger.

That girl is going to hang herself with the jumprope.

The climber needs a full OSHA-approved high work safety harness and three spotters.

And the idea that I found most disturbingly plausible of all:

It is because their parents aren’t in the picture watching their every move?

 

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13 Responses to Your Wacky Answers to “Why Is The Gov’t Destroying Stamps that Show Kids Playing?”

  1. Leslie October 11, 2013 at 8:53 am #

    I have to tell you (speaking as a swim instructor) that the Cannonball is actually one of the safer ways of entering the water. And, seriously, a helmet on the person doing he headstand? That is insane.

  2. Linda Wightman October 11, 2013 at 8:56 am #

    I believe there was a stamp of a diver some years ago. (Part of an Olympic series, perhaps?) Since that is potentially much more dangerous than a cannonball (seriously, what could go wrong, unless you’re jumping on top of someone?) — are they going to recall the old stamps? Root out philatelists and raid their collections?

  3. CrazyCatLady October 11, 2013 at 10:51 am #

    Yup. As a swim instructor and avid swimmer, jumping in straight legged to a pool or stream you don’t know the depth…you can hurt yourself. Bent legs are best, and cannon balls work too.

    And really, cannon balls at the pool or dock are great exercise. The kids run, they stretch when they ball up, they jump, they use upper body muscles when they get out of the pool, even if they are using a ladder. And most kids will do more repetitions of this than the average weight lifter at the gym.

  4. Ben October 11, 2013 at 10:52 am #

    It’s bad enough they’re trying to band cartwheels and handstands without safety equipment, but what is the point of recalling and destroying stamps depicting kids in sports activities? It doesn’t endanger real children. It encourages healthy exercise!

    Not only is destroying these stamps completely pointless, it puts a financial strain on the postal service who are already having a tough time. Are they going to get their money back?

    If this is so bad, people should’ve complained before the whole print run was printed and not waste all the manpower, production time and money.

  5. Susan October 11, 2013 at 11:53 am #

    Why aren’t any of those stamp kids glued to their parents? Can you imagine the risks of going through the mail system alone?!

  6. Donna October 11, 2013 at 12:07 pm #

    If you are looking at your postage stamps long enough to determine whether or not the activities on them are being portrayed correctly and with the proper safety gear, you clearly have waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much free time on your hands and need a hobby. Maybe one from one of these stamps.

  7. Silver Fang October 11, 2013 at 12:15 pm #

    How stupid!

  8. Stacy October 11, 2013 at 12:19 pm #

    Ironically, my daughter saw the image of the stamps on my computer and insisted she was going to “copy the moves” she saw. Her cannonball was across four steps of the deck onto a pile of leaves. That one scared even me, but she jumped up and said, “See, mom, I told you I could make it!”

  9. Bostonian October 11, 2013 at 12:20 pm #

    That’s exactly it, Susan. First they need to issue a series of Minivan stamps, and then the children exercising stamps can be stuck inside the minivan stamps. Predators might work in the post office, after all.

  10. K October 11, 2013 at 1:40 pm #

    No, it’s because the parents of the children on the stamps drive them to those activities in giant gas guzzlers.

    Hahahaa Katie, beat you to it!

    And yes, I’m making fun of you.

  11. Papilio October 11, 2013 at 6:59 pm #

    Hahaha Lenore, I like this new title :D

    @K & Katie: I’m surprised no one has abbreviated it to GGG yet…

  12. Katie October 14, 2013 at 3:50 pm #

    I find the whole head stand thing even more bizarre because the co-chair of the President’s council on fitness is Dominique Dawes a 3 time Olympic gymnast (and going to the Olympics 3 times in gymnastics is a real rarity). I could understand though why she might be confused about the cannon ball. Like to many of today’s kids she spent her whole life confined to formal activities and endless hours of formal gymnastics training…probably with almost no time to go outside and play.

  13. Jason October 15, 2013 at 11:45 am #

    Every single kid on those stamps is in mortal danger. After all, not a single one of them is pictured walking on the ground!

    What was the USPS thinking? Now kids all over the country are likely to go around trying to float in the air. If only the showed kids wearing full body armor, hands and feet firmly planted on the ground with watchful parents, school administrators, and government workers watching their every move. That is what childhood is all about.

    What we really need is pictures of kids sitting safely in their living rooms watching educational programming on TV.