FILL IN THE BLANK: You Know You’re a Free-Range Parent When…

Readers: A note I got yesterday:

we have so called free rangers in our neighborhood. rude, inconsiderate, etc.-their parents do not have a clue where they are or how they act. neither do they care. maybe they got their lazy parenting ideas from your lovely book. hopefully none of your kids will wind up in the hands of predators-how sad that you excuse lazy parenting.

I wrote back explaining (through gritted fingers) that what he or she was describing was not Free-Range but negligence. That Free-Rangers believe in teaching our kids the basics they need to be safe, then gradually giving them more rope. And as for fearing predators, violent crime is down to the level it was before color TV. So our kids today are actually safer than we were.

Then frequent commenter Earth Lion came up with a great idea: “You know you’re a Free-Range Parent when…” Earth’s was this:

You know you’re a Free-Range Parent when you send you 12 year old daughter off to a sleepover despite not remembering the house number of our daughter’s friends house, and not feeling worried but had a good laugh about how if there was an emergency, we would have to go door knocking on every house in the street to see which house they lived in.

And now, let’s hear yours! Mine:”You know you’re a Free-Range Parent when you want everyone to take their kids to the park and leave them there tomorrow. – L

Dirt and Free-Range often go together.

Filed under: Miscellaneous | 105 Comments »

Can Playing Outside Ease ADHD?

Readers — These studies discussed at Inhabitots seem to support what a lot of us feel in our guts: That outdoor play is probably very key, and taking it away in favor of more “safety” or more “education” has caused us a number of ills. Ironically, our kids are LESS safe (from depression, diabetes, obesity…) and LESS educated (about the natural world and all the things it makes you wonder about). So read this while you send your kids outside, perhaps this Saturday on Take Our Children to the Park…And Leave Them There Day!  - L

PLAYING IN THE GRASS MAY BE THE KEY TO EASING ADHD SYMPTOMS

by Jennifer Chait

Amazing but true, a new study, published in the journal Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being, shows that kids who regularly play in outdoor green spaces have milder Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) symptoms than those who play regularly indoors or in built outdoor environments. This study back up previous studies that show how kids majorly benefit from green spaces; i.e. spaces with plenty of grass and trees. For example, research posted by The Morton Arboretum shows that ADHD symptoms in children are relieved after contact with nature, asthma symptoms are reduced, and kids who play outdoors have less stress. Specifically, as related to ADHD, past research shows that kids experiencing ADHD can concentrate better, complete tasks better, and follow directions better after playing in a natural green space. Plus, the greener the setting, the more symptom relief.

READ MORE!

To calm down, kids need a hit of grass. (And trees. And flowers…)

Filed under: Miscellaneous, Parks, Playing and Playgrounds, Special needs | 41 Comments »

SATURDAY! 4th Annual “Take Our Children to the Park…and Leave Them There Day”

Yes folks, Saturday May 18 is international Take Our Children to the Park…and Leave Them There Day, the Free-Range holiday that’s celebrated just the way it sounds: We all take our kids to our local park and, if they’re 7 or 8 or older, leave them there for a bit, starting at 10 a.m. That way, they meet up with other kids from the neighborhood — even ones that go to different schools.

After we wave goodbye, the kids will come up with something to do, as kids always have. And by the time they’re done  — half an hour, or even half a day later — chances are they’ll want to do it again. So Sunday becomes unofficial “Our kids are going to the park on their own day,”  as do  most days thereafter. Suddenly, the empty parks are full of kids again!

If you’ve got younger children, you can participate, too. Go to the nearest park and watch what your kids will be able to do in only a few years. Meantime, you’re sitting on the bench, creating the kind of community that reassures the parents leaving their older kids there.

“BUT TIMES HAVE CHANGED!” 

This simple, old-fashioned idea will, of course, seem radical to some. They will say they loved playing on their own when they were kids, but now it’s too dangerous. Please show them this just-released Pew study on gun violence that states: “Firearm homicide rates in the late 2000s were equal to those not seen since the early 1960s.”  That’s right — gun crime is down to the level it was BEFORE COLOR TV.

Meantime, diabetes and obesity — the twin scourges of sitting inside — are up. What’s more, it is SAFER for kids to play than not to play. Here are some studies to wave around, if any of your friends are skeptical:

Kids NEED “adult-free play in diverse environments,” says this book review in Psychology Today, noting that a “growing body of scientific evidence confirming a direct relationship between play, evolution and brain growth.” Kids get SMART BY PLAYING.

Is it dangerous? More kids go to hospital for falling out of bed than trees. Moreover: Girls who play in dirt are healthier.

And yet: 1 in 4 kids, ages 6 to 12, NEVER goes outside without a parent. The outdoors is treated like yard time at prison.

Fight the misplaced fear that has kept kids indoors or only in supervised programs. Go forth to Facebook and Twitter and the PTA to spread the word about Take Our Children to the Park… and Leave Them There Day! 

And tell us how it goes! –  L

At last!! Playing in the park just like mom and dad did!

Filed under: Miscellaneous | 25 Comments »

Mommies Following Orders

Sorry Readers — I’m all riled up today. Too many things are annoying me, and one of them is the story I just heard from a friend. On Friday, in honor of Mother’s Day, her first grade daughter’s class was having a tea. So, in the foyer, waiting to go into the classroom, were a bunch of other moms milling around. When my friend got to the  front door of the school, which was locked, she motioned for someone to please open it.

None of the moms would.

One of them pantomimed for her to press a buzzer, which would alert the office, which would then officially allow her in. But — these were the other first grade moms! Some had been to my friend’s house! There is a difference between caution and obtuseness, between real safety and “following orders.” It’s a difference they chose to ignore.

Do they really think their children are in danger from a mom coming to tea?

If so, shouldn’t they hire an official taster? After all, what if one of the parents poisoned the scones? - L.  

Halt there, you sneaking, scheming enemy until proven otherwise!

Filed under: Crazy Parents, Miscellaneous, School and Zero Tolerance and Bullies, Uber Safety | 101 Comments »

Safety Second (Or Maybe Even Third)

Hi Folks! Here’s new wisdom from Michigan’s Heather Shumaker, author of It’s OK Not to Share…And Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids . She’s a speaker, blogger and advocate for free play and no homework for young children.  Hey — so am I! L.

Safety Second – 3 Risks Young Kids Need by Heather Shumaker

Sometimes it seems as if SAFETY has become a parent’s only job.  Stop running!  Be careful!  You’ll get wet! Put that stick down before someone gets hurt!

As caregivers, our job is to keep kids safe.  But it’s not our only job.  As the old saw goes, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” Risk is essential.

A “Safety First” mentality can freeze us. If safety is the only consideration, it can actually hurt our kids.  Kids need all kinds of risk to become competent human beings.  Here’s a sampling of the kinds of risks kids need.

Physical Risk

Kids become safer as they gain experience using their bodies. Say yes to tree climbing, wall walking and stick playing.  Show kids how to fall properly (rolling) and avoid real dangers (cliffs; busy streets).

• Drop ‘Be Careful’  - “Be careful!” is vague and alarmist.  Say nothing or offer specific information: “Look at your feet.”  “You’re near the edge.”  “Someone is behind you.”
• Don’t rescue  – Don’t lift kids out of a tree if they’re stuck.   Guide them instead: “Where could you put your foot next?”  Kids are partners in their own safety.
• Check in – Asking “Do you feel safe?” is a good reality check for kids.  It forces them to assess the situation (Gosh, no, I don’t feel safe) and fix it.

The Risk:  Yes, they could get hurt.  Mostly skinned knees.  Major harm is possible, but riding in a car is far riskier.

Social Risk

Risk pops up in friend making, too.  If we insist all kids play with each other (“you can’t say you can’t play), then we’re depriving kids of essential opportunities to practice social skills and navigate friendships.

• Allow friends to be together  It’s OK for a child to say “No, I don’t want to play right now.”  Kids have the right to choose their playmates. They also have the right to choose to be alone.
• Rejection isn’t evil   Kids don’t have to like everyone they meet (adults don’t).  They do have to learn how to treat everyone respectfully. Rejection is not necessarily mean – in fact, it can be a great teacher of social skills.
• Rejection brings resilience  Experiencing a bit of rejection helps kids realize it’s not the end of the world if someone says ‘no.’  They can recover and go on.

The Risk: Yes, they could get their feelings hurt – and learn resilience and empathy.

Creative Risk

Risk comes through ideas, too.  Whether it’s dramatic make-believe games, art or stories, kids need time and support for creative ideas.

• Art without models -  Ever see a line of identical pumpkin faces tacked up on the classroom wall?  No art or creativity there.  That’s practice with scissors and glue.  Go ahead and demonstrate techniques, but let kids express their own ideas.
• Seek basic toys  – The best toys serve multiple purposes.  Think blankets, hats, capes, sticks, cardboard, play dough.  Many toys sold in stores are “single-purpose” and can limit creative play.
• Unstructure the day  - Ideas need space and time.  So do kids!  Free up the day.

 The Risk: Yes, they might make a mistake.

So safety, yes, but keep safety in perspective.  Risk and safety are both parts of being alive. – H.S.

Choose me!

Filed under: Guest Post, Miscellaneous | 57 Comments »