Readers — The Onion gets it. They always do:Â
As a parent, worrying is second nature. Youâ€™re constantly afraid that something could go wrong. Your child could get sick, or get in an accident, or even just not fit in at school. Sure, thereâ€™s joy and pride and fulfillment, but thereâ€™s also an unavoidable stream of dread. And all of these worries of course pale in comparison to every parentâ€™s worst nightmare: losing your child to Gorchul, the Dark Sorcerer of Time.
Itâ€™s a terrifying thought that crosses the mind of any parent from time to time. Because Gorchul is real, heâ€™s out there, and you never know if itâ€™s going to be your child who will one day be abducted in their sleep by the mad chrono-wizard and dragged screaming to the nether planes of time.
Thatâ€™s the hardest thing about being a parent, really: the reality that, no matter how hard you work to keep your kid safe, in the back of your mind thereâ€™s always that nagging feeling that you donâ€™t really have control over what happens to them after they leave for school. Or even when theyâ€™re at home, standing right in front of you, as Gorchul has been known to appear anywhere, tear a rift in the fabric of space-time, and pull a child down into his primordial lair of darkness and murk before your very eyes…
Read more here.