Parents Arrested for Letting Kids, 7 and 9, Play (Not Swim) on Beach for an Hour

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Parents who let their boys, aged 7 and 9,  play on their own for an hour at a family beach will be arraigned later this month on charges of reckless endangerment of a child.
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Charles Smith and Lindsay Pembleton of Niagara Falls were vacationing with their kids on Cape Cod. The boys had wanted to stay at the beach for a little longer on the afternoon of Aug. 23, rather than walking back to the nearby campground (which is, according to one commenter, accessible via a car-free path). The parents said okay, but told them they couldn’t go in the water, according to by Mary Ann Bragg at capecodonline.com.
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But when the kids were spotted by two lifeguards, it had started to rain and their shirts became wet — clearly a criminal offense. What’s more, the boys were “standing around a food truck with no adults in charge.”
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No adults in charge of two kids standing around a food truck? Call the cops!
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Well the cops were indeed called and the one who wrote up the case, Truro police Sgt. Carrie DeAngelo, sternly reported:
“Although Head of the Meadow is a family beach with lifeguards, the Truro police have been called there for numerous calls related to dog bites, shark sightings, lewd conduct and people taking pictures of children….”
Those couldn’t possibly be parents taking pictures of their own children, could they? And shark sightings hurt kids exactly…how?
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Never mind. Always throw in sharks. And dogs! And predators! Wait…did the cop forget predators?
“Through my training and experience as a sexual assault investigator young boys at the ages of 7 and 9 are prime candidates for sexual predators.”
Phew!
“This being a tourist community with a small year-round population, most people who frequent the beach are transients and unknown.”
In other words: Most people at the beach are on vacation.
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So because boys are “candidates for sexual predators” (though not usually two kids together, on a popular beach) (oh — and also though over 90% of sex crimes against kids are committed by people they KNOW, not guys walking by, in public), the cop decided to file reports of suspected abuse or neglect in both Massachusetts and New York. And for good measure, she also “applied for criminal complaints against them in Orleans District Court.”
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Apparently in America, it is a crime to ever let your kids do anything without you right there next to them. After all, they could end up standing around a food truck! Or getting rained on. Or not growing up to be a terrified, needy, desperate, depressed wuss who thinks everyone and everything is out to get them, and ends up at college demanding a trigger warning on “The Old Man and the Sea,” because fish are scary and so are men.
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Can’t have that.
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So congratulations, Sgt. DeAngelo. You clearly care more about those boys than their own mom and dad. We shall see if the court agrees. – L.

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As long as there are sharks in the world, no child is ever safe unsupervised.

As long as there are sharks in the world, no child is ever safe, anywhere, even near a food truck.

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78 Responses to Parents Arrested for Letting Kids, 7 and 9, Play (Not Swim) on Beach for an Hour

  1. BL November 9, 2015 at 9:37 am #

    I don’t suppose we could arrange some adult supervision for the cops. They’re too childish to be out on their own.

  2. James Pollock November 9, 2015 at 10:02 am #

    Unaccompanied children are often a nuisance, they’re loud and don’t respond well (if at all) to unspoken commands. I’m not surprised that police would take an interest in corralling them and putting them back under a parent’s watchful gaze.

    I’m amazed that the prosecutor thinks there’s a case here, however.

  3. Amy November 9, 2015 at 10:10 am #

    How dare parents leave their kids at a beach supervised by lifeguards.

    Seriously

  4. Jan November 9, 2015 at 10:33 am #

    James, most people don’t respond well to unspoken commands – myself included.

  5. delurking November 9, 2015 at 10:39 am #

    A key quote from the article is missing:

    “Police were called at 4 p.m. that day to the town of Truro’s side of Head of the Meadow Beach on a report by lifeguards that two young boys were alone and wanted to walk back to a nearby campground, according to a report by police Sgt. Carrie DeAngelo. ”

    Wow, the rain started and the kids wanted to walk back to the nearby campground, so the police were called.
    They are morons with authority to ruin peoples’ lives.

  6. BL November 9, 2015 at 10:49 am #

    “two young boys were alone”

    No, they were with each other. Sheesh. Pay attention.

  7. Tim November 9, 2015 at 10:55 am #

    Every response to the linked article (that addressed the issue) is firmly against the ridiculous charges. This is rightfully bad publicity for Truro.

    But I suppose when most people who visit a beach are unknown that is pretty scary.

  8. Warren November 9, 2015 at 11:01 am #

    I wonder if Cape Cod’s Tourism Board will use the officer’s words to promote tourism.

    “This being a tourist community with a small year-round population, most people who frequent the beach are transients and unknown.”

    That should do wonders for the tourism business.

    OR

    “Come enjoy our beaches. But please leave your children at home, as our beaches are full of sexual predators.”

  9. James Pollock November 9, 2015 at 11:15 am #

    “most people don’t respond well to unspoken commands – myself included.”

    On the contrary, most people respond rather well to unspoken commands.
    For example, when a food truck opens it’s windows, people will queue up without saying anything. Nobody has to say “OK, line up now”, “one at a time”, or “no cutting the line”.

  10. andy November 9, 2015 at 11:25 am #

    @James Pollock Food truck windows opening is not a command. Seven years old kids already know to stand in queue and have had plenty of experience with it. Moreover, when someone attempts to skip the queue, people in the queue tend to tell him to get back – verbally. At which point it becomes a command if it is phrased that way.

    Yet moreover, someone skipping a queue is not police matter.

    Just about only non-verbal commands targeted at adults I can thing of is a cop who commands cars when lights are broken. Which is has nothing to do with situation here.

  11. Warren November 9, 2015 at 11:25 am #

    James,

    Again you are confused. A food truck opening it’s window is not a command of any sort. It is a signal, that represents the food truck is open for business.

    Commands are not signals. When someone issues a command they expect subordinates to carry out that command.

    As for lining up, and how they line up……………no food truck or business is commanding you to do so. They are requesting you do so.

    Maybe it is that incredible arrogance of yours that makes you believe your simple requests are commands. Must get frustrating having your “commands” ignored.

  12. Emily November 9, 2015 at 11:31 am #

    James and Warren, let’s just flip that idea around. A food truck opening its windows isn’t “commanding” people to line up and get food, but a food truck closing is windows is, in a way, “commanding” people to go elsewhere if they want food, because that food truck is closed. Can we all agree on that?

  13. Warren November 9, 2015 at 11:39 am #

    Emily,
    Nope, cannot agree on that. Closing up shop for the day, no matter what the business, is not a command. Not even close. All that does is signal we are done for the day. What you do or where you go after they close is none of their business, and rightly they don’t really care.

  14. James Pollock November 9, 2015 at 11:42 am #

    “Food truck windows opening is not a command”

    Didn’t say that it was.

    “someone skipping a queue is not police matter.”

    Didn’t say that it was.

  15. andy November 9, 2015 at 11:50 am #

    @James Pollock What was your example about and what was it related to then?

  16. andy November 9, 2015 at 11:53 am #

    @Emily I would interpret closed food truck windows as “we are not selling right now and do not care what you are going to do now”. Going eat elsewhere if you are hungry is advisable in that situation, but truck did not commanded you to go eat elsewhere. They did not even stated any preference about what you are going to do now.

  17. marie November 9, 2015 at 12:09 pm #

    Oh, for the old days when a commenter misused a word, another used humor to point out the error, and the first commenter said, “LOL. Yeah, I did sound stupid there didn’t I?” Exchanges like that saved us all from tedious discussions about food truck windows and let us focus on the real topic.

    I hope all works out well for this family.

  18. Sukiemom November 9, 2015 at 12:10 pm #

    I used to vacation in Wellfleet every summer and I know that beach. RIDICULOUS. There is zero danger there.

  19. James Pollock November 9, 2015 at 12:20 pm #

    “What was your example about and what was it related to then?”

    It was about the fact that people follow unspoken commands on many, many occasions (of course, there’s also plenty of times that they don’t.)

    And, um, it was related to the claim that most people don’t.

    Watch people walking down the sidewalk. As two people approach heading in opposite directions, they’ll adjust their path so they don’t run into each other, without any kind of verbal negotiation.

    When boarding an elevator, they’ll rearrange to make room to let someone board.

    Watch the interactions between the people at the corner waiting to cross the street, and people in cars waiting to turn. No words pass between them (in most cases) and yet the delicate negotiation of who has right-of-way is successfully completed. (The local insurance company runs an ad about “four-way-stop-you-go-no-you-go-guy”.)

  20. david zaitzeff November 9, 2015 at 12:20 pm #

    sigh . . .

    God show this policeperson the right way!

  21. andy November 9, 2015 at 12:24 pm #

    @James Pollock “It was about the fact that people follow unspoken commands on many, many occasions (of course, there’s also plenty of times that they don’t.)”

    And you used example of stuff that is not command at all to support that? None of your examples was a command. They were all examples of cultural habits – social norms in area where you live. Nobody game command to anybody.

  22. James Pollock November 9, 2015 at 12:27 pm #

    “Nobody game command to anybody.”

    Right.

  23. Sukiemom November 9, 2015 at 12:30 pm #

    Just to clarify: the Truro beach does have dangers from currents & sharks. NOT from strangers. In fact that area is one of the safest for families with young children in the entire country.

  24. Shelly Stow November 9, 2015 at 12:31 pm #

    Since the general consensus has been reached that this was not a matter for the police and that this thread has gone a bit off track, I will only say…good job, Lenore. Well written; enjoyable to read.

  25. Rivka333 November 9, 2015 at 12:32 pm #

    How would the parents being there save their kids from sharks? And dogs are one of the safest-yet-most-feared things in America.

  26. James Pollock November 9, 2015 at 12:37 pm #

    “How would the parents being there save their kids from sharks?”

    The same way the parents not being there saved the kids from sharks… the fact that evolution has not yet provided sharks with a means of locomotion on land. (Except, of course, for the elusive land shark, which has not been sighted since the 1970’s).

  27. Andrea November 9, 2015 at 12:45 pm #

    Whether one agrees or disagrees with the parents’ decision here, how is this a criminal matter? Why can’t the lifeguards just tell the parents — “Hey, please don’t leave your kids on the beach alone, we don’t feel comfortable with it.”

  28. Jenny November 9, 2015 at 12:48 pm #

    This made my stomach sick for those parents. I was left at the beach all the time while camping! With *GASP* no life guards!!! My sister’s and I are all alive and unharmed. Wait wait we are left with the deepest scar of GREAT MEMORIES that should we try to create for our children will leave us criminals.

    I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS SOCIETY! Our children are going to be nothing but vaguely supervised homebound zombies being entertained by electronics because parents now have to be absolutely everywhere a child is.

    When parents allow their children to play outside by themselves it’s because children need to play and learn. If parents are being good parents they are doing dishes, cooking, laundry, paying bills and everything else that is critical to daily life. Oh WHATEVER. This along with every other pointless thing CPS and the Police have done to good parents has just overwhelmed me with anger and saddness.

  29. James Pollock November 9, 2015 at 1:08 pm #

    In my youth, I went to a summer camp that had a stretch of beach, from which we launched rowboats and sailboats. You had to have two people to go out in a boat.

  30. Andrew Jones November 9, 2015 at 1:13 pm #

    I love the statement:

    “Through my training and experience as a sexual assault investigator young boys at the ages of 7 and 9 are prime candidates for sexual predators.”

    This is probably true. What is interesting, is he never states how *likely* it is…..

    If this category of children has a 1.5 chance in million of being the victim of a sexual predator, and the other groups are all less than 1 in a million – yes, they are the “prime candidates”….but even the prime candidates are more at risk of being hit by a car crossing the street than becoming such a victim!

    Also, according to stats, a police officer is more likely to molest a child than a complete stranger – so the most dangerous person on that beach, who should have been arrested, using his logic, for posing a risk to children, was *himself*!

  31. sigh November 9, 2015 at 1:28 pm #

    Could have been us. Cops were called in to a lake beach (no lifeguards) where our 8, 10, and 12-year-old were hanging out, not swimming, and we, the parents, had run back to our rental for snacks and a brief interlude of “adult time.” 10-year-old didn’t realize we’d left and started asking around after us among popsicle vendors and people on the beach, security was called, then escalated to cops. By the time we returned, the 10-year-old was full-on hysterical, not because we’d been gone a few minutes, but because the POLICE were now part of the scene.

    I’m sure it’s on my record somewhere that the police were summoned to a scene where my kids were “unattended,” even though no charges were filed or arrests made.

    Still, that was so harrowing for the whole lot of us. What was a simply communication error turned out to be a major emotional freakout, all because law enforcement was called in prematurely. A guy next to our spot on the beach kept telling security and the cops that everything was fine, but not being able to locate us for a few minutes could have derailed our family’s healthy course had the cop been inclined to categorize what happened as criminal.

    Thank God he didn’t.

  32. Katie November 9, 2015 at 2:13 pm #

    …and this is why we don’t go on vacation in the United States.

  33. marie November 9, 2015 at 2:20 pm #

    Sigh, yes, thank godness your experience didn’t result in criminal charges. Police seem to work to “catch” people in a crime now instead of working to protect and serve. Just because something can be seen as a crime does not mean it should be treated as one. In fact, I wish cops were rewarded for the times when they solve a problem *without* charging someone with a crime.

  34. SKL November 9, 2015 at 2:24 pm #

    Sigh. Thank goodness my kids are getting older. I say that a lot these days.

    I hope the pendulum swings back the other way by the time my grandkids are putzing around.

  35. John November 9, 2015 at 2:35 pm #

    Quote:

    “The same way the parents not being there saved the kids from sharks… the fact that evolution has not yet provided sharks with a means of locomotion on land. (Except, of course, for the elusive land shark, which has not been sighted since the 1970’s).”

    @James…….I know this is slightly off topic BUT this reminds me of a Comedian a few years ago who did a really funny monologue on the stupidity of one of the Jaws movie sequels (think it was 7 or 8) about a person on a NY beach who was attacked and traumatized by a shark. He then decides that he needs to get as far away from this shark as possible. So what does he do? He goes on a vacation to a beach on a small Caribbean island. Yes, that’s right, on a beach off a small Caribbean island which is how many hundreds of miles away from NY? Well, of course that same nasty shark somehow swims all the way down from NY to this small Caribbean island in order to continue traumatizing this poor individual as he goes on a little swim off this beach. Yes, that’s right, this haunted shark somehow read the guy’s mind and follows him all the way down to the Caribbean! Not only that, but in order to rid his mind of this haunted shark and get as far away from the shark as possible, the guy goes on a little swim off the beach of a small Caribbean island! Now isn’t that the perfect way to avoid a shark attack? Go for a swim in the ocean?

    Now correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t ya think that maybe, just maybe, going to an ocean beach probably isn’t a very good way to rid your mind of a haunted shark? And don’t ya think that maybe, just maybe, a mere 5 yards from the ocean water would be sufficient enough to avoid any attack from this haunted shark OR from any shark for that matter? I mean, even a vacation to Kansas would have been overkill (no pun intended)!

    BUT, then again, if this shark was truly haunted, he might have been able to grow legs and chase the guy down and bite him in half even all the way to Kansas!

  36. lollipoplover November 9, 2015 at 2:37 pm #

    Cape Cod Tourism Bureau has their work cut out for them for this PR disaster. I’m pretty sure cracking down on these types of crimes won’t get them on any Top Family Beaches anytime soon.

    “Truro police Sgt. Carrie DeAngelo, sternly reported:
    “Although Head of the Meadow is a family beach with lifeguards, the Truro police have been called there for numerous calls related to dog bites, shark sightings, lewd conduct and people taking pictures of children.”

    Heavens to Betsy, don’t wrinkle your plaid shorts or spill your lobsta on your docksiders.
    Dog bites!
    Sharks!
    People taking pictures of children!
    Children being exposed to rain!

    You’d think liquid cigarette butts were falling from the sky, What is so harmful and abusive about getting wet or being outside in the rain? I love sun showers on hot days. It’s the same cooling effect of going in the ocean but with less effort. Or bitey sharks. Why do we think children will melt like the Wicked Witch of the West when they get exposed to rain?

    Seriously, why would anyone call the police because of kids in the rain? They were 9 and 7 and playing outdoors on vacation with their parents blocks away. This is what we WANT kids to do on vacation, but apparently NOT in Cape Cod. They are cracking down on this dreaded crime of vacationers with children. I will definitely scratch this off my list of places to visit.

    I don’t want my kids harassed when we vacation.
    They have a right to be at the beach unless Cape Cod Tourism would like to post Leash Laws for the children at the beach because of all of the sexual predators here like Rip Current warning flags. I’d like to know how many sexual predators are on this island now. Does anyone know because it sure sounds like Sgt. DeAngelo is rounding them up left and right.
    “Head of the Meadow” has pervert beach written all over it, it’s in the name.

  37. Diane November 9, 2015 at 2:58 pm #

    Last spring we were camping at a state park and my 8 year old was riding her bike around our campground “loop” which had about 20 campsites around it. A park officer stopped at our site and asked me if I knew what my daughter was doing. I replied in the affirmative, and then asked if she a) had her helmet on, and b) was pulling to the side when a vehicle approached. He said, “Yes,” and I asked, “What’s the problem?”
    He just responded that you never knew who hung around these campgrounds and we might want to be careful.

    Geez. I thought we WERE being careful, teaching her how to look after herself. SMH

  38. Sukiemom November 9, 2015 at 3:12 pm #

    Back when my kids were young my husband and I were desperate to go on vacation where we could have grown up time while the kids were having fun too.
    We went on a few (very expensive) Disney cruises, which fulfilled these goals. We could only afford the 3-night cruises but it was worth it. The childcare staff was exceptional.
    I did notice on the cruises that there were still parents– with very harried looks on their faces — who were with their little kids at every meal, etc. Found out they were worried about leaving their children with staff. For no other reason that they saw everyone as a pedophile.

  39. EricS November 9, 2015 at 3:32 pm #

    @ James: “Watch people walking down the sidewalk. As two people approach heading in opposite directions, they’ll adjust their path so they don’t run into each other, without any kind of verbal negotiation.”

    Man, I wish this was the case for me. I treat walking on the sidewalk, like driving a car. I stay to the right of the sidewalk so that the left is left free for people to pass. When I’m heading into a store, I look over my shoulder as I move from the far right, to the far left (where the stores are), so I don’t cut anyone off as they are trying to pass me.

    Most times, when the sidewalk is only abut 3 people deep, people still like to walk in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. And if the sidewalk isn’t wide enough, we all know walking in the middle actually takes up more space than walking off to the sides. Worse when there are 3 or 4 of them walking side by side, people who don’t like conflict end up walking on the street with oncoming traffic just to avoid them. Most people I come across on a daily, EXPECT people to give them way. That is THEIR “unspoken command”. lol I keep walking, and let them walk into me. They either play ignorant that they didn’t see me, and “apologize”. Or they take offense and say some stupid crap. At which point I will shoot them down a peg or two by letting them know exactly what had happened.

    Like most people, when they realize they were in the wrong after you spell it out for them and “show pictures”, they would just grumble and leave. So, I would have to disagree that “most people respond rather well to unspoken commands”. At least where I’m from. And it also depends on their level of logic and common sense. If they use any.

  40. James Pollock November 9, 2015 at 3:39 pm #

    ” So, I would have to disagree that “most people respond rather well to unspoken commands”. At least where I’m from. And it also depends on their level of logic and common sense. If they use any.”

    Okay, I needed to conclude with a “YMMV”. The unspoken commands are apparently different wherever it is you are. Noted.

  41. Donald November 9, 2015 at 3:47 pm #

    “Unaccompanied children are often a nuisance, they’re loud and don’t respond well (if at all) to unspoken commands.”

    Many people of any age are nuisance when they don’t know social skills. This is a great reason for children to interact with the rest of the world. I’m not talking about Twitter. I’m speaking of face to face interaction. When children are unskilled at social skills (due to little use) they’re often a nuisance. When the male children in this group get older, they’re a good target for a sex offender list. This expanding list becomes all the more reason why we should never allow children to interact with the world without supervision.

    Which came first? The chicken or the egg? This is another example of a circular argument. It’s too hard to solve this problem. It’s easier to just Freak the F**k Out!

  42. James Pollock November 9, 2015 at 3:56 pm #

    “Which came first? The chicken or the egg? This is another example of a circular argument. It’s too hard to solve this problem. It’s easier to just Freak the F**k Out!”

    You’ve, um, substituted your own (circular) argument for mine.
    I’m saying that I’m not surprised the cops took action. Remember who pays for them… the people who own property in the area, which means locals and not tourists and adults and not children. So if there’s a conflict between local adults and tourist kids, the cops are more likely to act the way the local adults wish. If the local adults are of the “git off ma lawn!” variety, well, then the cops can be expected to be clearing lawns.

  43. SusieCake November 9, 2015 at 3:58 pm #

    At the moment, I am in Germany on business. There are kids…young kids, all over the place. 8 year olds on their own, buying food, riding bikes, laughing with friends and going to movies…all without an adult anywhere around, except, of course, the adults they are buying the food and movie tickets from. It’s an amazingly wonderful breath of fresh air. The kids are perfectly capable…8 year old kids who have more real life skills than many American college freshmen.

  44. John November 9, 2015 at 4:15 pm #

    Quote from the article:

    “Through my training and experience as a sexual assault investigator young boys at the ages of 7 and 9 are prime candidates for sexual predators.”

    Just getting back to the subject at hand, considering this police officer is a “sexual assault investigator” isn’t that like a Medical Examiner saying “Through my training and experience as a Medical Examiner, human beings are prime candidates for death”?! I mean, that’s all the woman does is investigate sexual assaults! So what about the millions of 7- and 9-year-old boys who are out on their own and NOT sexually assaulted? Does she investigate those? Of course not. She also says “young BOYS (emphasis mine) at the ages of 7 and 9 are prime candidates for sexual predators” so is she implying that young GIRLS at the ages of 7 and 9 are less likely to be “prime candidates for sexual predators”? This makes absolutely no sense at all. Notice she didn’t say “young kids”.

    But quite frankly, I don’t know what kind of cases she investigates when all of the data suggest that a very high percentage of children sexually assaulted are done so by a person the child knows including a family member or even other kids they know and not a stranger.

    I hope this case gets dismissed and the police officer gets a huge scolding by a Judge, but I’m not holding my breath. Please keep abreast of this case Lenore so you can provide us updates.

  45. BL November 9, 2015 at 4:18 pm #

    ” If the local adults are of the ‘git off ma lawn!’ variety, well, then the cops can be expected to be clearing lawns.”

    If they were trespassing on private property, that’s another thing. The story said they were at a public beach.

  46. John November 9, 2015 at 4:21 pm #

    @SusieCake……..it’s that way in the Philippines too Susie. Kids out and about on the street, washing car windows, playing soccer and even working in auto repair shops. It’s no coincidence that the Filipinos are probably the most adaptable and tenacious people in the world, working and living in all cultures including the most difficult and discriminatory cultures in the mid-East and even working and thriving in cold climates. Even though they’ve been born and bred in a tropical climate!

  47. Dhewco November 9, 2015 at 4:34 pm #

    John,

    I’m reasonably sure you’re talking about Richard Jeni talking about Jaws 4. It’s a very funny bit from that comedian (sad about what happened to him.) He also talked about how the same shark somehow beat him to the caribbean.

  48. Caroline November 9, 2015 at 5:41 pm #

    I adore you! Thank you for all you do!

  49. Glen November 9, 2015 at 7:15 pm #

    From experience, I know how cops can color the world from many negative experiences and contacts. However, there is this thing called reason that’s pops up and reminds us we have the power to think rationally. Apparently absent here. On a positive note, I appreciate the officer coloring her community in such positive tones…I will be sure to never visit her descriptively hellish beach.

  50. Jupe November 9, 2015 at 8:57 pm #

    But if those same kids had actually don’t anything illegal, $10 they’d have been charged as adults.

  51. Bill Fullerton November 9, 2015 at 10:20 pm #

    Re: nonverbal commands. “Walk” “Dont (sic) Walk”, Crosswalks, Stoplights.

    Re Why police get involved. A few years ago the police were called to a Waffle House as there was a intoxicated person. They did not arrest him, they just pointed him towards home. 30 minutes later while stumbleing home the drunk was hit by a car and killed. Police were successfully sued for letting the drunk go as he, being intoxicated was incapable of making the decisions necessary to keep himself safe ie not walking in front of cars or sleeping in the road. Essentially if s happens then its the polices fault if they had a reason to intervene and did not.

    That is why police intervene. They dont just take people home because they are the police not Uber.

    I’m not endorsing this charge the parents insanity, but once they are called in their ability to use common sense may be seriously constrained by bureaucratic miasma. See also “Zero Tolerance”

  52. Missy November 9, 2015 at 11:21 pm #

    This is why I’m afraid to even take my kid anywhere. I’m afraid if I turn around if even for a second I’ll go to jail. I refuse to risk it, she’s all I have. So any errands I have to run I do right after work. I only have 10 minutes to spare if I don’t hit traffic before I have to have her picked up from after school care. So I buy the necessities, no ice cream as it will be melted by the time we get home. When I get gas I pay at the pump & leave the door open & play with her. I’m afraid to leave the door closed as someone might say she was alone in the truck. I order anything else, clothes, shoes, school supplies online so I don’t have to worry about getting in trouble for being 3 feet away from her with her strapped in the cart at the store. Thanks society for sucking the fun out of child hood & parenting. But when we are home we do epic science experiments with food coloring & stuff! Sometimes without safety glasses on! Yeah! We are real rebels! Just don’t tell anyone, I don’t want to get in trouble…. Seriously…

  53. sexhysteria November 10, 2015 at 2:25 am #

    Sgt. Carrie DeAngelo should be considered for dismissal from the police force based on her hysterical judgment in this case leading to the traumatization of this innocent family. The two lifeguards were also guilty of excessive harassment of tourists and should be dismissed.

  54. Jenny Islander November 10, 2015 at 3:23 am #

    Oh, for crying out loud could you quit it with the trigger warnings already? I’m with you on a lot of things, Lenore, but nobody is being mollycoddled by a note like this:

    This course requires examination of photos and first-hand accounts of mass murder and other atrocities of war.

    or this:

    Please be aware that [title of novel that is required reading for course] graphically depicts two rapes and the preventable death of a child. If you wish to preserve narrative tension, read no further. [two blank lines] For everyone else, the scenes are in chapters 7, 9, and 34, respectively.

    If this is allowing people to be childish, then putting a letter rating and a brief note about the reason for the rating on a movie is also enabling childishness. Labeling murder mysteries as murder mysteries and horror novels as horror novels must also be enabling childishness.

    Or maybe maturity is not measured by being smacked in the eyeball with a detailed scene of real or simulated atrocities or other nightmare fuel and responding by just sitting back and gazing down on it with a cool and detached expression.

  55. BL November 10, 2015 at 6:17 am #

    @Jenny Islander

    “nobody is being mollycoddled by a note like this:

    This course requires examination of photos and first-hand accounts of mass murder and other atrocities of war.”

    You realize how many young men of just about college freshman age were actually soldiers in such wars and saw this first-hand? Many if not most of those were conscripts, not volunteers. (We’ll leave out those that actually perpetrated atrocities, since they don’t even arguably deserve warnings for anything).

    But reading about it is supposed to be too much to handle. Spare me.

  56. andy November 10, 2015 at 7:25 am #

    @Jeny Islander Holocaust victims deserve to be heard even if young student does not like to hear what they have to say. So yes, mature person should be able to shut up and listen when holocaust survivor talks about what it was really like and how it happened from their point of view.

    Whether it is because kids do not want to cope with feelings or because they want to keep their illusions about what world is/was like does not matter all that much. Reading at least one survivor account of holocaust or something like that is part of what it means to be well-rounded. Reading survivor account with all details (which usually do not focus on gore as much as you imagine) is different then just knowing then it just happened.

    “I do not want to hear about your life” is not mature reaction to history and survival first account. If they can not cope with that, how will they cope when next alive victim get to their town and try to get protection or political support? How will they cope if they will be selected for jury?

    Moreover, you expect the lowest ability to cope with history and art/entertainment ever. I am not saying it is childish, because young kids are already better at that. We put labels for child entertainment because of parents – so they have it easier to raise their child with entertainment consumption they deem fit.

    All kids who live in here have seen torture room a couple of times, because all schools here do trips to medieval castles. They are part of tour and of our history. German schools send kids for trips to Auschwitz and German history focus on WWII, because Germans consider it important not to forget and to understand how out of hand things can get. But somehow, young affluent supposedly elite students are incapable of that.

    2.) Books for adults are not labeled the way your comment suggest. Books with horror content or sex or violence do not always have that clearly marked on them. That suggestion is not true. Only genre books with a lot of horror content have such labels and that is only so to sell for those who like such fiction.

    3.) Besides, trigger warnings are not only about gruesome photos of mass murders. Students demand trigger warning on any mention of such events including classical literature. While abstract argumentation about whether trigger warnings are good thing or bad thing centers around extreme examples, students demand them in surprisingly mild situations.

  57. Donna November 10, 2015 at 8:50 am #

    “Please be aware that [title of novel that is required reading for course] graphically depicts two rapes and the preventable death of a child. If you wish to preserve narrative tension, read no further.”

    Ummm, not knowing about the two rapes and the preventable death of a child at all IS part of the narrative tension. In fact, it is the MAIN part of the narrative tension. Once I know that those things are going to occur, my enjoyment of the book is already diminished.

    “If this is allowing people to be childish, then putting a letter rating and a brief note about the reason for the rating on a movie is also enabling childishness.”

    Personally, I am not a fan of ratings, but I fail to see how assigning every movie released to the public with one of five of potential letters that designates it as part of an extremely broad class of films and is generated by an independent board based on uniform standards is in any way related to trigger warnings that address specific potential concerns in specific assignments in specific college courses. I have never had the plot of a movie completely blown by knowing that it is rated R, unlike your example of a trigger warning which seems to completely blow a large chunk of the plot of that book.

    “Labeling murder mysteries as murder mysteries and horror novels as horror novels must also be enabling childishness.”

    No that is simple classification, same as saying a class is a history class or a literature class. Nobody is objecting to classifications. It is not as though we want classes to just be thrown into a computer program in random order and we then expect students to figure out which classes will meet their literature requirements themselves. We actually tell them “hey, this is a literature class” and always have as far as I know.

    A film course being titled “Horror Movie Seminar,” followed by a course description stating “we will study the evolution of horror movies through history” is not a childish. It is simply a course description to differentiate this class from the 300 other classes being offered that semester. Continuing on with “You will be required to watch various horror movies in whole or in part during this course. These movies will include graphic depictions of murder” is childish. If you don’t have enough reasoning ability to figure that out from the course title and brief course description, you really shouldn’t be in college. Same with a history class. If you have graduated high school, you really should know that there is a lot of violent stuff in history and have the deductive reasoning to understand that those things may come up in a history class.

    Literature classes are a bit more difficult and I have no objection to a professor CHOOSING to put a note in a course description saying “some of the assigned readings contain depictions of rape” so that you can choose whether or not to take the class. Once you are in the class, you should be held responsible for reading all of the material. If you have a sensitivity that would be better handled by knowing about something beforehand, ask the professor or research it yourself.

  58. MichaelF November 10, 2015 at 8:50 am #

    Man….didn’t know Cape Cod was biting into the hysteria. Perhaps all this “training” as a sexual assault investigator is making the Police see issues where there are none. Training like this just makes you think worst first, which is one of the main points of this blog.

    Guess I will be avoiding Truro from now on, since my kids tend to be independent with my blessing…and I would not take kindly to police intervention where there was no need.

  59. Donna November 10, 2015 at 8:57 am #

    Hit send too soon —

    The childish part is expecting other people to spoon feed you information about your particular sensitivity. The childishness is not in having the sensitivity, but in the lack of willingness to take your own life by the horns and seek out information pertaining to it yourself. This doesn’t mean that you have to read the book. It means that you have to approach the teacher and say “I have a problem with graphic depictions of rape. Can you please tell me if there are any in the assigned readings? And if so, which books and chapters so that I can be completely prepared.”

  60. James Pollock November 10, 2015 at 9:02 am #

    “You realize how many young men of just about college freshman age were actually soldiers in such wars”

    You realize that some young men (and women) of just about college freshman age were actually present while atrocities of war were being committed. But hey, I’m sure having the experiences replayed for them is “educational”, right? You have to face the fact that you live in world where such things happen, right? You know better than they do what is good for them, right?

    Some young people were victims of sexual violence as children. But that’s certainly no reason they shouldn’t attend the mandatory abstinence-only sex ed course (you know, the one where we teach them that people who’ve had sex prior to marriage are unworthy of respect).

  61. James Pollock November 10, 2015 at 9:04 am #

    ” It means that you have to approach the teacher and say “I have a problem with graphic depictions of rape.”

    Because it’s well-known how much rape victims like to talk about it with people they barely know.

  62. Puzzled November 10, 2015 at 9:28 am #

    Quick question: How exactly did the comments about parents arrested for letting their kids play on the beach turn out to be about trigger warnings?

  63. James Pollock November 10, 2015 at 9:58 am #

    “How exactly did the comments about parents arrested for letting their kids play on the beach turn out to be about trigger warnings?”

    Are you complaining that you weren’t given any advance notice that the subject, which makes some people uncomfortable, was going to be discussed?

  64. BL November 10, 2015 at 10:19 am #

    Let’s just never talk about anything that might offend someone.

    Enjoy the silence.

  65. Warren November 10, 2015 at 11:14 am #

    BL,
    I am all for that. Since the result would mean complete silence from James.

  66. Havva November 10, 2015 at 11:25 am #

    @Missy,
    I would urge you to be at least a little more brave. While there are certainly over reactions to parents intentionally leaving kids, even capable ones, places. Parents simply are not being jailed for turning their back for a second with the kid secured (or even unsecured) 3 feet away. For all the horror stories Lenore has collected, that isn’t one of them.

    There was a question a while back about loosing kids. Most of us have lost one in stores (some multiple times). People here have gotten into trouble for letting a kid wait in a car. None have gotten in trouble for loosing one in a store.

    I lost my toddler about 3 years ago To make matters worse, neither my husband nor I noticed for several minutes. He went to look at baby gates thinking I had her, and I went to look at convertible car seats thinking he had her. Once I decided which models I wanted to try her on I went looking for my husband and daughter, only to find out he never had her. I alerted an employee to have the exits watched and told him what happened and how long it could be as the search of the store commenced. I found my daughter hiding behind boxes of infant seats. Neither police nor child services got involved.

    In another store my daughter nearly got away and a store employee nearly had to catch her for me, thankfully my daughter noticed (just as the employee reached out) and turned back. No one gave me any grief, but I ‘outed’ myself to the store manager including the bit about having turned my back on an unsecured toddler to request she reassure her nervous employee that he had acted with perfect discretion. I am still friendly with the manager (despite her knowing I turned my back for a moment).

    At both stores I was told most calmly, that these things happen (frequently) and aren’t a big deal.
    All that said… shopping is still more convenient with out a tiny tot in tow, so you may still prefer your 10 minute stops. But you shouldn’t fear shopping with your kid, as long as you are concerned if she gets away from you, no one will give you grief.

  67. jon November 10, 2015 at 2:31 pm #

    You can contact the Truro Chamber of Commerce here:
    http://www.trurochamberofcommerce.com/contact-us.php

    and can leave comments or reviews on their Facebook page here:
    https://www.facebook.com/Truro-Chamber-of-Commerce-178090079004637/?fref=ts&hc_location=ufi\

    Looks like some folks have already done so in response to the article.

  68. Red November 10, 2015 at 3:08 pm #

    Just talking about swimming and kids …

    Our local YMCA’s swim test policy up until August 30, 2015:

    – Youth 11-13 who pass a swim test may be in the Y pool without a caregiver.
    – Youth 8-10 who pass the swim test must have a caregiver in the facility.
    – Youth 7 and younger who pass the swim test must have a caregiver in the pool area.

    Swim test policy starting September 1, 2015:

    – Youth 11-13 who pass a swim test may be in the Y pool without a caregiver in the area.
    – Youth 8-10 who pass the swim test must have a caregiver in the pool area.
    – Youth 7 and younger who pass the swim test must have a caretaker in the pool area.

    I’m tempted to just continue to let my 9-year-old go swimming when I’m elsewhere in the facility, as he has been doing happily and successfully for a year. As have his friends been doing as well. Or between this and some other stuff that has gone down in the past two months, leave the YMCA altogether.

  69. iamcart November 10, 2015 at 5:38 pm #

    Wow, way to tie up the courts!

  70. Jason November 10, 2015 at 5:42 pm #

    I’m not bothering to read the original article, but based on delurking’s comment, it sounds like cops were called because the boys wanted to return to the campground and didn’t know how (or where it was, etc.). It sounds like they approached the lifeguards and drew attention to the fact that they were unaccompanied and didn’t know how to get back to their parents.

    So, although the lifeguard could have just jerked his thumb in the direction of the campground and told the kids to get lost, the whole incident could probably have been avoided if the parents had made sure the kids knew how to get back to them when they left them on the beach.

  71. Puzzled November 10, 2015 at 6:17 pm #

    Is that a serious question? I hope not. No, I don’t consider it a micro-aggression, I’m not offended by it, and I don’t intend to hunt Lenore down and curse at her about it until she agrees to stop blogging and apologize. I’m just curious, since from what I saw, a comment just got plopped down that bore no relation to what came before.

  72. Warren November 10, 2015 at 9:39 pm #

    Puzzled,

    Why would you even read James’ comments. You know he is only trying to stir the pot.

  73. Donna November 10, 2015 at 10:14 pm #

    “Because it’s well-known how much rape victims like to talk about it with people they barely know.”

    Not that asking about rape scenes in assignments requires talking about their own personal rape (if that is even why they want to know) in any way whatsoever, but it is certainly a valid choice to choose not to ask in which case they will either have to read the assignments blind or research the novels themselves. That is 100% their choice. College is grown up time and part of being a grown up is the willingness to handle your own affairs, find the answers to your own questions and seek any help needed to do either one yourself. Yes, it would be nice if everyone else in the world anticipated every personal problem that we may have and then spontaneously spoon-fed us the answer without the slightest effort on our part, but it is an extremely childish expectation. Even my 10 year old is more grown up than that and she has many years before college.

  74. Doug November 11, 2015 at 9:29 am #

    Trolls shouldn’t be fed.

  75. Papilio November 11, 2015 at 1:38 pm #

    “Through my training and experience as a sexual assault investigator young boys at the ages of 7 and 9 are prime candidates for sexual predators.”

    Is this even a correct sentence?

    “a trigger warning on “The Old Man and the Sea,” because fish are scary and so are men.”

    Well there ARE sharks in the Sea…

    “children will melt like the Wicked Witch of the West when they get exposed to rain?”

    Lenore! O.O Does this mean you carry an umbrella with you at all times to avoid melting??

    “to hunt Lenore down and curse at her about it until she agrees to stop blogging and apologize”

    Witch hunt 😀

  76. Ann November 11, 2015 at 7:27 pm #

    Wow. This makes me long for the days of “Sigmund and the Seamonsters”. A show about two boys who pretty much played at or near the beach all day with no supervision whatsoever.

  77. LJ November 15, 2015 at 4:57 pm #

    I’m very familiar with this beach and campground. Both are family friendly and filled with many observable moments of kids playing together without constant supervision. I’m surprised to learn that this police interaction occurred here.

  78. Hugo S Cunningham November 16, 2015 at 11:22 am #

    A Congressional committee should subpoena this cop to testify on national television that Cape Cod is an unsafe destination for family vacations, crawling with pedophiles and kidnapers. If Cape Cod’s Chamber of Commerce wanted Congress to let them off, the price would be a public apology to this family, dismissal of all charges, and reimbursement for all expenses.