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    Free-Range Kids

    Shiver Me School Administrators! “Pirates” Cause School Lock-out

    September 24, 2013
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    Readers — Read it and argh, matey! Kids dressed as pirates to get free Krispy Kreme donuts on “Talk Like a Pirate Day” were spotted by some good (but crazed with fear) Samaritan in Colorado who alerted the sheriff’s office to a “suspicious group.” The authorities then had the local middle and high school put on  lockout while they investigated this scary situation. (Hmm. Police being FORCED to go to a donut shop. I’d be suspicious, too. )

    Fifteen minutes later, students were allowed in to their non-Davy Jones lockers. Was the booty shared by all? That we may never know. But this is a treasure of worst-first thinking: Seeing kids dressed up like pirates and fearing for the lives of our precious children. – L

    Krisps ahoy!
    Krisps ahoy!
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    22 Comments

    1. Susan2 on September 24, 2013 8:46 am

      This reminds me of scene in one of the Wimpy Kid books that had me laughing and crying at the same time because it was so true-to-life. Rowley kept copying the way Greg dressed. Greg made his outfits more and more outlandish to get Rowley to stop, but the copying continued. A woman in the neighborhood called the police, and they were picked up for wearing “gang clothes.”

    2. CaroleJ on September 24, 2013 8:51 am

      O….M….G….!

    3. Donna on September 24, 2013 9:45 am

      Well you can never be too careful. You never know when the pirates from Disneyland might decide to invade Colorado.

    4. Tom on September 24, 2013 10:12 am

      Can’t wait for Halloween

    5. Warren on September 24, 2013 10:32 am

      And the schools and police will justify it with the better safe than sorry cliche.

      Again I state that 911 callers have got to be held accountable, for their allegations. If people knew they would be reprecussions for false calls, and moronic calls, they would hopefully think before they call.

      If deemed needed, a false report of fire, causing the dispatch of the FD, can cost a person hefty fines, and or jail time in some jurisdictions. Same should be done for reports like this.

    6. Mark on September 24, 2013 10:58 am

      I like what Warren said: “Again I state that 911 callers have got to be held accountable, for their allegations.” It does seem like much if not most of the accountability lies with the initial caller. From the police’s point of view, I can see why they often feel like they have to respond (what if…)

      There’s something awfully smug about calling the police on children dressed as pirates. I imagine the caller in this case was quite proud of theirself, felt like they were “doing their part.” Sad.

    7. Maggie on September 24, 2013 11:13 am

      I’m sure the cops shook their heads at the paranoia and got a free doughnuts.

      But you gotta wonder, why were the schools locked down? That is also an over-reaction. Are they going to lock down anytime anyone “different” appears in the neighborhood? Let’s say Hare Krishna, Sikhs, or anyone in native garb? A group of Japanese tourists?

      *sigh*

    8. Papilio on September 24, 2013 11:25 am

      Ever since I read this blog, I sometimes find myself thinking, ‘Can it get any dumber than this?’
      But if people call 911 on dressed-up kids, the answer is definitely ‘yes’…

    9. mellong on September 24, 2013 12:54 pm

      That police department is gonna shit it’s pants come Halloween.

    10. Katie on September 24, 2013 4:37 pm

      It’s amazing that this makes news and is seen as a concern. Yet along with this “news” in Colorado and in the side bar of the page is something we should all be concerned about and that is the Colorado floods caused by global warming. It’s sad we spend our time fearing kids dressed in pirate costumes and not people who drive around giant gas guzzlers who are destroying the earth.

    11. Warren on September 24, 2013 5:50 pm

      @Katie,
      Really? Global warming? You honestly don’t buy that foolishness do you?
      It is an unseasonably cool evening, think we’ll fire up the GTO and go for a drive, just for the fun of it. I know it only gets around 11 miles to the gallon cruising, about half that when I put the hammer down, but we love cruising up the river route.

    12. Buffy on September 24, 2013 5:58 pm

      Katie, give it a rest, will ya?

    13. Stephanie on September 24, 2013 6:52 pm

      They were probably reported by ninjas. Ninjas can’t stand pirates.

    14. Aubrey on September 24, 2013 8:07 pm

      Even if you get past the initial ridiculous cause, how is not letting them in the school supposed to protect them from pirates? Shouldn’t they be “safer” locked inside the school? I guess potential pirate infestation is just another to add to my list of reasons we homeschool. 😉

    15. Gary on September 24, 2013 9:31 pm

      In Katie’s honor, I plan to cut back on my home heating oil use and instead will heat my home by using old tires and used motor oil in my fireplace instead. SAVE THE WHALES!!!

    16. Bob Davis on September 24, 2013 9:40 pm

      “Horrors! A PIRATE!” (from Pirates of Penzance, by Gilbert & Sullivan)

    17. Uly on September 24, 2013 9:57 pm

      We all know that global warming* is strongly correlated with the decline of piracy.

      * Which has nothing to do with whether any particular day in any particular area is warm or cool, and everything to do with averages and trends over long periods of time and the entire planet.

    18. Krista on September 25, 2013 12:10 am

      I am sad.

      Sad that I forgot to get my dozen doughnuts.

      I’m also sad this happened. Shaking my head, really. I wonder what they would think of my family. The kids, The Hubby, and I often dress as pirates for fun. I guess we’re just hooligans.

    19. Beth on September 25, 2013 3:21 am

      @Katie, if you don’t think the stories posted on this site are important enough, then don’t read them – no one is forcing you. And hey, “We” aren’t fearing anything. In fact, we might not even be fearing gas guzzlers!

    20. lollipoplover on September 25, 2013 11:08 am

      Anyone else think that Katie should dress as the Devil and drive around in an SUV for Halloween?

    21. pentamom on September 25, 2013 11:18 am

      lolliloplover, wouldn’t dressing as the devil be redundant? Wouldn’t everyone know she IS the devil if she’s driving an SUV?

      Though a nice prop might be a sign on the vehicle saying “I have too many kids and don’t have the sense to live in the city like intelligent people do.”

    22. lollipoplover on September 25, 2013 12:53 pm

      pentamom, yes, and a bumper sticker with “I am responsible for Global Warming because I am an SUV Driving Asshole” should suffice.

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