PART 1
Have you noticed that childhood independence is almost shockingly NON PARTISAN?
It’s not a right or left-wing thing to want your kids to be able to walk to the store, play outside, or spend some unsupervised time at home – without being investigated for neglect.
That is one reason Let Grow, the nonprofit that grew out of Free-Range Kids, has been able to help pass “Reasonable Childhood Independence” laws in 12 states so far, usually with bi-partisan co-sponsors and often unanimously. (I am president of Let Grow.)
The law is WILDLY bi-partisan because it simply guarantees parents that “neglect” is when you put your kid in obvious, serious danger – not any time you take your eyes off them.
The states that have passed the law are red, blue and purple: Utah, Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado, Virginia, Connecticut, Illinois, Montana, Georgia, Florida, Missouri, and a few weeks ago: Indiana. Bills are bubbling up now in Kansas, Ohio, Michigan, and Pennsylvania, too!
To highlight the broad appeal of NOT micromanaging parents, I interviewed two governors’ wives of opposite parties who are both working hard to get kids off of screens and into the real world: Jennifer Newsom of California and Abby Cox of Utah. First up is Jennifer Newsom. My interview with Abby Cox will be up shortly!
JENNIFER SIEBEL NEWSOM WANTS KIDS TO HAVE AN AWESOME CHILDHOOD
Jennifer Siebel Newsom is a filmmaker, activist, mom, and the wife of California Governor Gavin Newsom. In her quest to give California kids a great childhood, she has championed libraries, farm-to-table school lunch programs, and the California State Library Parks program, providing free all-day access to 200+ California State Parks to anyone with a library card.
She is also intensely focused on child well-being in the digital age. The California Partners Project, her nonprofit, has published a Tech/Life Balance guide for families, and a Movement and Outdoor Activity Family Guide, which recommends, among other things, more independence and free play.
That’s the sweet spot where we overlap. Here is a much shortened, edited version of the chat we had about letting kids go — and grow:
LS: Thank you so much for meeting with me. I loved your interview with [Let Grow Co-founder] Jonathan Haidt.
JN: I’m a big fan. As a mother of four, and a sort of Mama Bear to so many children across the state, I’m very, very grateful to you both for this movement, and your individual and collective work.
LS: Speaking of collective work — you may have read in the piece Jon and I had in The Atlantic, where we found that one big reason kids are on their phones so much is because they get to do so little else on their own.
JN: Yes, it’s an important piece on how digital technology is changing the landscape of childhood.
LS: Tell us a little about your own childhood.
JN: I was born and raised in California, summers in Montana, and I spent so much of my childhood outdoors. Not just as an athlete, not just hiking and picnicking and visiting parks, but being underneath trees, in creeks and streams. I lost my older sister days before my seventh birthday and nature was my refuge.
LS: Oh no. I’m so grateful you found some solace.
JN: Nature, fresh air, and being outdoors were my source of healing and empowerment. I like to say that without even knowing the term, I was “forest bathing.”
LS: And now?
JN: Now I do see families in our parks, but sadly, I see more and more kids stuck to their devices, sort of numbing themselves. The streets are kind of quiet. Sitting inside when you have gorgeous weather outdoors really saddens me. That’s why we’ve invested so much in our state park system.
LS: Peter Gray, one of the founders of Let Grow, says that when kids are out there, climbing trees or playing tag – that’s when they’re really learning. That’s why we always recommend schools start a Let Grow Play Club, staying open for mixed age, wide-open play – and no phones!
JN: You know, having different ages together – they teach each other. They have opportunities to practice independence. I don’t know if my team told you, but I was a college athlete. And I despise the culture that our kids are inheriting – the sports culture! It’s so intensely competitive. No wonder [kids are] depressed and anxious. And no wonder they want to numb out on those screens! So I’m a huge proponent of having play and activities after school when they can be with their peers and build community across ages.
LS: Let’s hear it for some unstructured time.
JN: My 8-year-old who was on the top soccer team in Northern California was literally saying, “I’m going to quit soccer.” Because the program was too intense! All the pressure is hurting their mental and physical health.
LS: Kids need a chance to spend some time pursuing interests just for their own sake. Nothing more. And they need a place to do it.
JN: As part of our California for All Kids initiative, we have a strong partnership with libraries. We’re working on trying to turn these into more “third places” –
LS: As in a place that’s not school and not home –
JN: Yes. We want to have families taking advantage of libraries. The library is a public good.
LS: Have you heard about libraries running “Repair Cafes” once a month? That’s where people who know how to fix things – often older guys – come in, and so does anyone with a broken toaster, or what have you. The old guys tinker, everyone mingles, and some kids even learn how to use real tools.
JN: I love that! Agency for the older people. And one of my kids loves to tinker. He likes fixing bikes. It would be so cool for him to be around an elderly person who has a skill he’s teaching and could serve as a mentor.
We chatted some more about mentorships, and real life as an alternative to screens. Long story short: We both believe kids need more time doing real things, in the real world, especially outside.