Hi Readers: This letter made me ill. Simple as that. Until we learn to blame CRIMINALS and not MOMS, we will continue to create a world of blame and fear and good ol’ pitchfork-through-the-heart cruelty. – L. (who did not bother to make any corrections to the writer’s note) P.S. This note is about the Jessica Ridgeway case, not the tragedy we are hearing of today, in New Jersey. Dear Free-Range Kids: First and foremost my heart and prayers go out to the family, friends, and community. I am a mother of two children. Daughter is 9 and my son…
Author: lskenazy
Hi Folks — Here’s me, today, on the show “The Doctors.” This was not an appearance I’m proud of. I don’t think I got my point across — that kids today are pretty safe, and it is only our worst-case-obsessing culture (as exemplified by, ahem, The Doctors) that is convincing us our kids are in constant danger. What really upset me about this is…everything. That includes the fact that New York City’s parks are portrayed as citadels of crime, because there were 41 incidents over the summer. In a city of 8,000,000 people! Hey, it’s too bad there wasn’t ZERO…
Hi Readers — As you know, I don’t jump on every study that comes along (in part because that would require an inordinate amount of jumping). But this one, out today, I found interesting: Cyberbullying Only Rarely the Sole Factor Identified in Teen Suicides. You can figure out the topic from the title, obviously, but you may be wondering: How is this relevant to Free-Range Kids? The answer is not that we are here to endorse cyberbullying. (Surprise!) It’s that in the past year or two, the cyberbullying-suicide connection has achieved almost “stranger-danger” status: a very rare but very awful…
Dear Readers: Here’s a little missive from the frontiers of irrationality, brought to you by a terrified culture and a school in Arizona. . Dear Free-Range Kids: I was shocked when I received this in an email from my daughter’s school: “Mrs. K has informed me that all volunteers must have a fingerprint card prior to volunteering in our schools. I know there was different information relayed to you all with regards to the fingerprinting matter. I asked Mrs. K to clarify that for me so that you would be given the correct information. If you don’t…
Hi Readers! Once again, one of you alerted me to a phenom I was completely unaware of: Schools are asking parents to write letters for their kids’ emergency packs, in case they are separated…perhaps forever. It certainly sounds like a wrenching exercise for the parents, one that — per usual these days — forces us to imagine the very worst, saddest case scenario and proceed as if it’s likely enough to happen. It’s what I call “worst-first thinking,” and it’s the way we are being TRAINED to think about our kids. Think of the advice columnist who suggested we…
Hi Readers! Sometimes I get the kind of note that makes my day/week/month, as did this one. Naturally, it comes with one nagging question, which I am often asked. — L. Dear Lenore: Thank you so much for your wonderful book. I am not (yet) a parent but plan to start a family soon. I am so glad I picked up your book (I could barely put it down, you made me laugh more than I have laughed in a long time) before I started having kids! It caught my eye because after I began working at a…
Hi Folks! Here’s a note that resonated with me so much. It’s why I tried to start that “I Won’t Supervise Your Kids”class with kids of all different ages, and why I want kids to meet up with each other and HAVE to figure out how to have fun on “Take Our Children to The Park…And Leave Them There Day.” Even as I write this my 14-year-old is trudging off to school knowing that at 3:30 he won’t find anyone to play with at the park just opposite the school because…the kids don’t do that. They go straight home and…
Hi Readers: This one made me worry, then smile, then realize that one part of Free-Range is remembering it’s not just us adults who are the problem-solvers. – L. Dear Free-Range Kids: I can’t tell you how much this blog and its community have meant to me. I have come a long way as a Free-Range parent. This place is a haven of rationality in the turmoil of the current tragedy. After beginning to read this blog, I started to let my kids walk short distances in our neighborhood by themselves. I will continue to do so.…
Hey readers — Just got this note and I found it revelatory! – L. Dear Free-Range Kids: The ability to get very scared of danger that strikes around us has probably been extremely important throughout evolution. I would say that it is a basic instinct. Having media triggering this for issues that have no relevance to our own survival is one of our time’s biggest challenges. It’s not too different from overeating and obesity. We need to see that our bodies and our instincts do not always give us the right information. Lenore here: What a great analogy! Throughout most…
Dear Readers — Like no doubt most of you, I am horrified and dismayed by the disappearance of Jessica Ridgeway and what may be the recovery of her body. My heart is pounding as I read the stories. And of course, I am reading the reactions to the case, too. Here’s one woman’s essay, from the website Chicago Now: When I read that a body has been found in Colorado a few miles from where Jessica Ridgeway went missing, I got a lump in my throat. ….This case hits close to home. My tween is 10 years old, just…