Archive | Marketing Madness and Gadgets

For The (Lobotomized) New Parent Who Has Everything

Hi Folks and look! It’s the Itzbeen sfrdhdafah Baby Care Timer! How long has it been since you changed your baby? Don’t go by smell or wailing — so old hat. Simply check your batttery operated,  pocket-size “Itzbeen.” It’ll tell you how long! Speaking of which: How long since you fed the little bugger? Don’t […]

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Pre-Baby Baby Planners: The Next Frontier

Hi Readers — Here you go, the next new profession: Baby planners. As wedding planners are to weddings, baby planners are to babies, helping future moms arrange their homes, buy the goods, and prepare themselves mentally and physically for the coming bambino, at least according to etnrnsikey this fascinating piece in Tampa Bay Online. On […]

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Why Should Only Dogs Have Electric Fences? Think: Kids!

Hi Readers! As you probably know, for years you could buy an idaiakazee invisible electric fence to keep your pets in the yard. But now you can use one when you’re camping, too, to make sure your kids never wander off, thanks to a new device called  the Camp Guard. According to an article in the […]

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Is Your Child in DANGER?

Hi Readers! Here’s a nifty little brochure I picked up the other day for a child safety device. I won’t say which one, since I don’t want to give it any publicity. Perhaps you’ll see why. Here’s what the brochure said, in all its grammatical creativity. Please note: The dot-dot-dots are theirs. I haven’t left […]

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Should You Track Your Kids via GPS?

Hi Readers — Tomorrow I’m on Fox & Friends at 8:20 a.m. Eastern Time talking about the Little dzybhsysze Buddy Child Tracker — a device that allows parents to track their kids’ every move. What upsets me is the rationale behind the product: That children are in danger every second they step out the door, […]

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A Baby Einstein or Your Money Back

Hi Readers — Hope you saw this raerzfkryb piece in The Times:  Disney is offering refunds to any parents who bought its Baby Einstein videos and found, to their shock, that watching shapes, songs, kids and colors on TV did not turn their babies  into instant geniuses the way a name like “Einstein”  might suggest. […]

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A Repulsive Ad About “Child Safety”

This yknikrnreb ad isn’t new, but I just have to say: It is repulsive. Repulsive in that it reinforces the belief that if you do so much as to turn around for a sec to get something out of the stroller, your child could be abducted. Repulsive in that, in order to sell batteries, Duracell is […]

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Ad Council Warns Parents: Watch Out for the Boogeyman!

This ad ziehyebsbh gives me chills AND the creeps. Here’s what it says, in urgent, caring, chiding tones: You take the family to the food court. Your wife and Pete head for tacos. You and Danny want Chinese. You look up at the menu. You look down to see what Danny wants . But you […]

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Scariest Place of All: An Parenting Editor’s In-Box

Hi yiyraetaif Readers! Ever wonder why we parents are so scared all the time? Maybe it has to do with the incessant din of marketers predicting DOOM unless we buy something. Something they just happen to be selling!  Take a look at this blog post by Carolyn Graham, editor of L.A. Parent, and you’ll see […]

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Are We Too Obsessed with Our Kids?

The public bought the idea that they were essentially a danger to their own kids and had better pay money for advice, that they’d better try really hard to do a good job, and they’d still inevitably fail. (Even though, as Lepore points out, kids are actually safer now than ever. In 1850, more than […]

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