“Children Will Be Affected in Horrific Ways Because of Your Beliefs”

This nbsznidfhh
week felt, I’ll admit, like a victory lap for Free-Range Kids. All over the country — world! — people were outraged that kids are not allowed to walk in their own neighborhoods, and that parents aren’t allowed to let them. “Free-Range” became a familiar phrase far beyond this blog.
And so today, after I was on the Michael Smerconish show talking about how we can give kids the freedom most of us remember so fondly, I got this letter with the subject line: “I was impressed by your interview.” Ah — click bait! But…
Let’s just say that our work is not all done:
Dear Lenore: Let me start by saying I am a Father of two Beautiful Children, and work in the Security industry.
When I saw you speak on CNN, you remind me of my Saint of Mother only in the way you speak very eloquently and well educated.  Your thoughts are well thought out and you appear to research your subject matter. However, you must have way too much time on your hands to engage in such lunacy.  Free Range parenting is the single dumbest, moronic, irresponsible, jumble of nonsense I have ever heard in my 47 years of life and 24 years of parenting. Your reckless and uninformed view will most surely lure addle minded parents like yourself into allowing there treasures (children),  to be assaulted and worse, because your a complete idiot.  Do what you feel with your own kids.  Don’t encourage such reckless Behaviour. We are by no means in a 50 year low in crime.   Home invasions account for about 3% of all break-ins.   These are desperate and insane animals.   Home security is in 10 times the homes now then when we were kids.  I also rode my bike to school when I was 10.   We live in different times, bizarre and uncertain times. God Bless America and the 1st amendment, that said, your infringing on the rights of all the children that will be affected in horrific ways and worse, because of your beliefs.   Please get your head out of your Ass before anymore harm can be done.
This may be a minor point, but if my head WAS in my ass, how could he have heard what I was saying?

After my appearance on CNN suggesting we can let our kids walk outside, a viewer wrote this note.

After my appearance on CNN suggesting we can let our kids walk outside, I got this note.


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138 Responses to “Children Will Be Affected in Horrific Ways Because of Your Beliefs”

  1. Richard April 18, 2015 at 11:57 pm #

    It’s funny that he cites home invasions as being the real threat, since having the kids at home during such an experience is the last thing you want. Better that they are off playing in the park when that happens.

  2. Uly April 19, 2015 at 12:02 am #

    Do you ever get hate mail that doesn’t look like it was typed by a drunken monkey?

  3. Edward Hafner April 19, 2015 at 12:04 am #

    If I may suggest something; if you are a regular here – and you have young children at the present time – let them respond to this person after explaining to them that there are people who believe kids are no higher a life form than the single cell kind.
    Sadly, I do not have kids. And I am more afraid of this person than any kid should ever be of me.

  4. Kimberly April 19, 2015 at 12:09 am #

    “Home invasions account for about 3% of all break-ins. These are desperate and insane animals.”

    He seems to prove a point that I don’t think he was trying to make. According to the naysayers, the supposed safest place for a child is under the watchful eyes of their parents. However, if home invasions are such a real threat, then it proves that children aren’t any safer with their parents from all of these insane animals. He, more or less, suggests that parents can’t protect themselves either.

    “Home security is in 10 times the homes now then when we were kids.”

    Um…yeah. Because the same thing that’s pushing parents to keep an eye on their children every waking moment is also pushing them to spend insane amounts of money on home security systems to keep those bad men out.

    Of course, once again, if all it takes is the presence of a parent to keep a child safe, then why the need for an alarm system??? Hmmm…

  5. Kate April 19, 2015 at 12:21 am #

    You can tell you really made an impression on this guy; he was so outraged that he forgot how to write grammatically, spell, and lay out a line of reasoning. 😉

    I think someone sees a threat to his industry.

  6. Emily April 19, 2015 at 12:24 am #

    A few more minor points:

    1. If home invasions are such a problem (and 3% is a pretty small percentage), then wouldn’t kids be safer playing in the park, or riding their bicycles around the neighbourhood?

    2. I don’t think home security is in more homes now because there’s actually more danger, but because increased home security is an option. When I was a kid, you couldn’t get alerts sent to your phone that your children arrived home from school–when I first started coming home alone, I’d call my mom (on the land line) at her work (another land line), to tell her I’d arrived home safely. Often, I’d have to go through the receptionist, and I was, of course, instructed to be polite to her. But, clearly, home security is better, because it short-circuits the opportunity for kids to learn responsibility and telephone manners.

    3. “Your” is possessive. “You’re” means “You are.” Free-range parenting isn’t nearly as moronic as adults (barring extenuating circumstances like learning disabilities) who don’t have a basic grasp of spelling and grammar.

  7. Nancy April 19, 2015 at 12:59 am #

    Just sad…

  8. Mark April 19, 2015 at 1:12 am #

    He works in the security industry. OF COURSE he wants everyone afraid!

    Keep up the good work. A year or so ago I kicked my over-noisy 3 kids, then 8, 10, and 12, out to enjoy a picnic THEY made, in the wild space on the edge of a valley a few blocks from home. It was the event of the month for them, at least. 🙂

  9. Sparsile April 19, 2015 at 1:19 am #

    Hearing arguments about bubble-wrapping your kids from someone who seems to believe that an increase in home security systems means that it’s a dangerous world is a well, reckless and uninformed waste of my time. And if Mr. Security thinks that free-range parenting is the worst thing he’s heard in his 47 years – well, he needs to get out more.

  10. tz April 19, 2015 at 1:19 am #

    In the film version of the diary of Anne. Frank, the father says. “we have lives in fear, now we will live in hope”

    That is the choice. Hope oe fear.

  11. sigh April 19, 2015 at 1:25 am #

    Love what Uly said about drunken monkeys. I have to say that I am hugely impressed with the communication skills of our regular commenters on this blog. I have a hard time overcoming poor spelling and grammar, awkward syntax and annoying acronyms.

    And happily, I can read comments on this site with nary a shudder. Love you people.

  12. Earth Waratah April 19, 2015 at 1:42 am #

    So children are safer at home because of home invasions. That’s doesn’t make any sense.

  13. Laci April 19, 2015 at 3:24 am #

    Failure to properly use homophones accounts for 12% of all word crimes.

    (See I can make up statistics and be sarcastic, too.)

  14. Anna April 19, 2015 at 3:28 am #

    I don’t understand why you found this worthy of your blog. Yes, there are lots of stupid people out there, we know this already.

  15. Mushroom April 19, 2015 at 3:30 am #

    Two items:

    a) “your infringing on the rights of all the children” — Funny that letting kids go outside infringes on their rights. I would have thought giving them free will and empowerment would be the opposite of limiting one’s rights.

    b) Your friend there missed the chapter of Norman Vincent Peale’s book saying that if you want people to listen to what you have to say and weigh your opinion for its validity, you don’t insult them and call them names. I’m sure such a chapter is there, even if half the Internet and most of YouTube is of a different mind about how to get people to want to hear a person out.

    May this person’s children grow up in a world where air is free, intelligence is valued, and most importantly… language and writing skills are taken seriously.

  16. Nadine April 19, 2015 at 6:11 am #

    Bbc More or less did a little segment about the numbers of missing children statistics, it starts at around the 3.30 mark

  17. Mark Jh April 19, 2015 at 6:18 am #

    >”When I saw you speak on CNN, you remind me of my Saint of Mother only in the way you speak very eloquently and well educated. Your thoughts are well thought out and you appear to research your subject matter.

    Regarding head location: He’s surprised to encounter a woman very “eloquent,” etc? What more would you have to do to escape his condemnations of being “uninformed”, “addle minded”?

    Speaking of which, in his 47 years, he’s heard of no “”nonsense” worse than FRParenting? Has he managed somehow to also deprive his children knowledge of Nazism and the The Holocaust; supposed rationalies for other genocides, various wars, unspeakable terrorism, the Manson murders? Or for that matter, whatever purportedly drives the “desperate and insane animals” perpetrating the “home invasions” he envisions?

    What does he imagine to be worse than “horrific”? In any event, a parent should feel free to inflict horrors on his own children? Why should a reader care less about your children than about children generally?

  18. KB April 19, 2015 at 6:21 am #

    Along these lines, the weekend Wall Street Journal had an article on a three page section that had been edited from A Wrinkle in Time. In it, L’Engle has the father tell Meg
    that fear and increased security can make a place like Camazotz.

  19. Donna April 19, 2015 at 7:04 am #

    So we are supposed to keep kids home because of home invasions?

    Home invasion is a specific crime in which the residents are HOME at the time it occurs. I have never worked on a home invasion case in which the victim was not specifically selected. None have been random. Most have been drug dealers (that is who has large amounts of cash floating around and is less likely to call the police). So if you know people who commit home invasions or are a drug dealer, you may need to worry. Otherwise, home invasions are pretty rare.

    Since few I know leave their alarms on while home, except maybe at night, seems that most people get security systems to prevent burglary, not home invasion.

    Either way, I have never had a home invasion or burglary client who also abducted children in their spare time so I’m not sure what the correlation is here.

  20. Rick April 19, 2015 at 7:11 am #

    I think the last thing someone working in the “security industry” wants is you and your kids to feel safe without using his services.

  21. Maresi April 19, 2015 at 7:24 am #

    There’s just the SWEETEST irony in any letter like this when it contains the words “your a complete idiot.”

    *kisses fingers*

  22. Josh April 19, 2015 at 7:51 am #

    It’s encouraging that you are not getting intelligent, well-reasoned criticism of the free-range philosophy. It’s helpful to judge the merits of our own ideas by the quality of opponents like this letter writer.

  23. Wow... April 19, 2015 at 8:15 am #

    I love how the stats are a ‘belief’.

  24. Mike April 19, 2015 at 8:15 am #

    It is interesting to note that the only statistic he mentions is home invasions accounting for 3% of all break-ins. So is he saying that it is not safe INSIDE your home? So maybe MORE children should be playing outside to keep them safe from home invasions? Or is he REALLY just trying to sell more home security systems (his business). Regardless, he was very disrespectful and immature in his response. Keep up the good work!

  25. Jessica April 19, 2015 at 8:23 am #

    I know who I don’t want installing a home security system in my house. This guy is not the brightest crayon in the box, is he?

  26. Becky April 19, 2015 at 9:09 am #

    Sorry, I cannot take seriously the opinions of someone with such a poor grasp of grammar. I wish he had mentioned the security entity he works for so that I could avoid trusting my home’s safety to a company that fails to vet its employees for functional illiteracy.

  27. Donald April 19, 2015 at 9:17 am #

    I was a telephone councilor. On most nights that I worked, I took at least 2 suicide calls in a 4 hour shift! The reasons of ‘I’m so depressed’ varied but most had one thing in common. Most problems stemmed from low self confidence.

    The suicide statistics are thousands of times higher than child abduction. What’s worse is that for every suicide that occurs, there are 500 people that have strong thoughts about taking their own life.

    The danger of low/nil self confidence is so obvious to me that it’s hard to comprehend that others don’t see it. It’s ironic that this letter talks about a person being so blind that they have their head in their ass and that their misguided beliefs put children in danger.

  28. Crystal April 19, 2015 at 9:40 am #

    You must have some crazy-thick skin! How could your heart not be broken into a million pieces after being shredded by someone with such a high IQ? 😉

  29. lollipoplover April 19, 2015 at 10:00 am #

    This rant reminds me of the SNL skit:
    “Jane, you ignorant slut.”

    So he thinks “your a complete idiot” for realizing free play is an essential component for healthy children but wants children to be safe, indoors, with parental supervision because…home invasions?
    All this coming from an illiterate home security salesman who capitalizes random nouns.

    What horrific ways does he imagine outdoor play will cripple children? So he could bike to school at age 10 but today’s 10 year-old is in imminent danger? My 12 yo daughter has been biking to school for 6 years. Her danger? Her strong legs, strengthened and conditioned on hills, she is a big threat to her opponents on the soccer field. Honestly, I couldn’t be prouder of her independence and strength. But I guess I should have driven her all this time and kept her inside with the doors locked and the expensive alarm system activated to keep her away from the “desperate and insane animals” and subject her to a life of paranoia and anxiety unnecessary.

  30. rob o April 19, 2015 at 10:28 am #

    In the neighbourhood I grew up in as a kid no one had the internet or grammar checker. Nowadays, all my responsible neighbours use auto correct AND spell. The most responsible ones use a browser with this built right in. Anyone else is just asking to be thrown to the wolves. And who stays a parent for 24 years these days of low child mortality?

  31. Warren April 19, 2015 at 11:05 am #

    This is hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    In the security industry? My inner bookie is coming out. Ladies and Gentlemen place your bets.

    3-1 he sits at a monitoring station for some home alarm company.

    2-1 he is a wanna be cop walking a security beat at WalMart

    3-2 He is a home alarm salesman

    4-1 he installs home alarm systems

    5-1 he is a bouncer at a bar

    1000-1 longshot he has any actual law enforcement experience at all

    Whenever someone like this takes the time to write a letter, but is only willing to go so far as to say “in the security industry” and not give their actual position within that industry he is probably sweeping the floors of the security company’s offices. That’s why there was no odds on that, because it is even money.

  32. tdr April 19, 2015 at 11:08 am #

    He talks about Free-Range parenting as if it were a trend — and I’m sure many people think of it that way. This guy puts it in high relief.

    Obviously I’m preaching to the choir here, but “Free-Range Parenting” is really just parenting. It’s not a niche. It’s not a trend. It’s not a fad. It’s just …. parenting.

  33. Warren April 19, 2015 at 11:14 am #

    As for home security systems being in 10 times the homes as before? That really doesn’t mean anything if the starting number is low. Kinda like 10 times 1 is still only 10.

    Now why are people getting systems? Fear? Maybe. Great introductory pricing? Probably. Or because they get a heck of a discount on their insurance? Most likely.

    When we bought the home the first thing we did was get rid of the system.

    I will match the effectiveness of the dogs against any alarm system. The dogs were never intended for security, and if you actually were brave enough to enter the house, they would probably hold the door open for you to carry stuff out. But the noise and chaos they make at first will deter any would be agents of hell.

  34. Zozimus April 19, 2015 at 11:42 am #

    We have an alarm system in the house we bought. It was already installed when we moved in, and our insurance company gives us a rebate if we keep it activated. It certainly has nothing to do with any fear of invasion, or abduction of children. I don’t use it if I’m going to be out for only a short while. If there is an increase in home security, it might not even have anything to do with fear; I really only have it for the insurance incentive.

  35. Steven Davis April 19, 2015 at 12:04 pm #

    Lenore –

    I apologize on behalf of security professionals everywhere.

    Security should be about balance, not fear.

    I want my two kids to lead long, happy, interesting lives.

    Security is only a small part of that.

    I want police to focus on real crime, not hassling parents or kids.

    I want my neighbors to know me and my kids, to watch them because we are part of a community together, not hide in their houses and call the cops at the drop of a hat.

    Anyone who is serious about security knows that no one can guarantee perfect safety or absolute security.

    Once we know security is not perfect, it becomes a trade off.

    What security at what cost… and what other things can we do with that time, money, and freedom.

    Keep it up.


  36. bsolar April 19, 2015 at 12:11 pm #

    First of all working in the security industry doesn’t mean understanding how security works. Then the mail above doesn’t contain any substantial argument: it’s simply a mix of insults, logical fallacies and baseless statistics presented in a ridiculously meaningless way.

    As a troll attempt I’d rate it 2/10, the bait subject being it’s only redeeming point.

  37. fred schueler April 19, 2015 at 12:13 pm #

    I’ve often wondered if they insert the spelling and grammatical errors just to show they know they’re off their rockers?

  38. Yocheved April 19, 2015 at 12:16 pm #

    Typos, grammar fail, and Random Caps. Sorry, that made my brain hurt way too much. Let me know when someone literate responds.

  39. Donna April 19, 2015 at 12:22 pm #

    It is true about the insurance thing. My mother’s house was burglarized while she was out of town – most likely one of my brother’s druggie friends as she lives in the middle of nowhere so you have to know the house is there. Her insurance company threatened to raise her rates substantially unless she got a security system so she did. She mostly uses it when she goes out of town. She’s never turned it on while in the house.

  40. Heather April 19, 2015 at 12:23 pm #

    What a troll!

    Stats are so weird – they can be totally twisted to suit the users needs. If he’s in home security, of course he’s looking for stats that feed they hysteria about crime today.

    I guess the same could be said for your stats, but I’d rather look through your calm and rational lenses. Who wouldn’t?

    Fight the fear!!

  41. Mark Davis April 19, 2015 at 12:36 pm #

    In the opening sentence:

    “… and [I] work in the Security industry”.

    ‘Nuff said. He promotes this nonsense because it’s the idea that underpins his livelihood, never mind that there’s no substance to his argument.

  42. curtis April 19, 2015 at 12:54 pm #

    Security guy. We know his agenda.
    What is the saying…”we have nothing to fear, but fear itself”

  43. Reziac April 19, 2015 at 1:11 pm #

    Sounds to me like he’s trying to sell more home security systems….

    …cuz that coulda come right out of scare-advertising copy.

  44. JKP April 19, 2015 at 1:20 pm #

    If someone is afraid of home invasion and burglary, installs security alarms, and has dogs and a guns, that doesn’t mean they automatically are afraid of kidnappers.

    Children don’t have a resale value (unless you’re a wealthy celebrity they can get a ransom out of, those are the only parents with legitimate need for bodyguards and restricting their kids’ freedom). Property crime is way different than kidnapping and doesn’t involve the same types of criminals.

    Even in carjackings where they accidentally take a kid before they realize the kid is in the car, they always drop the kid off somewhere shortly after. Sometimes parents who kill their own child will stage a carjacking to cover it up, but that usually comes out in the investigation. Has there ever been an actual carjacking where the kid wasn’t returned?

  45. Alex April 19, 2015 at 1:21 pm #

    I guess he just calls the times “bizarre and uncertain” because he can’t actually counter your statistics. He just assumes there’s some bizarre way in which his view is right.

    I’m not sure what his 3% statistics is supposed to mean when he doesn’t tell us how many total break-ins there are, what percentage of home invasions are prevented by security, and what sort of activity usually happens during a home break-in.

    I agree with the sentiment “sigh” shared about comments on this blog being very readable. I hadn’t consciously thought about that before, but I think it is true. Maybe we should go find some helicopter parenting blog and check the grammar in the comments section there to verify that this difference really exists.

    Warren, your comment about your dogs holding the door open while burglars carry all your stuff out the door gave me a good laugh. 🙂

  46. Aaron April 19, 2015 at 1:24 pm #

    “Your reckless and uninformed view… allowing there treasures, to be assaualted…..”
    I wonder if he might have sounded more credible if he could spell.

  47. Beth April 19, 2015 at 1:41 pm #

    It’s not just the security industry, it’s the Security industry!

    And what’s a Saint of Mother – is that truly a thing? I’ve heard people (not many, granted) refer to “my sainted mother”, but this is a new one for me if it’s for real.

    I’m also kind of amazed that in 47 years he’s never heard anyone but his mother, oops Mother, speak eloquently and be well-educated.

  48. stoptraffik April 19, 2015 at 1:42 pm #

    Today in Muskegon Michigan I seen a 10 year old girl riding her bicycle. Muskegon is a high crime area. We have to be able to trust our kids and teach them to avoid strangers and you cannot do that by turning them into veggies that believe the computer is their lives.

  49. Jana April 19, 2015 at 2:11 pm #

    I consider this really insulting. He clearly is a sexist… How dare that man calls you an idiot? He reminds me of those aggressive men who believe that a woman does not have right to her own opinion. God Save America from such!

  50. lollipoplover April 19, 2015 at 2:21 pm #

    @Beth- I believe Saint Anne is the Saint of Mothers(she was the mother of Mary) but I have no idea what he meant by “my Saint of Mother” and how it relates to Lenore.
    My guess?
    He’s on too high of a dose of anti-anxiety meds and is delusional. We need to start an Adult Beverage Fund for Lenore for when she has to read this hate mail. Or buy her some red pens to correct it and mail it back.

  51. Vicky April 19, 2015 at 2:36 pm #

    Wow. Maybe this psycho lives in a neighborhood that made him so psycho. Of course some areas are more safe than others. Lenore doesn’t tell parents to allow their children to walk, alone in crime infested gang owned alleys after midnight. Good grief. You have to use a measure of common sense. As a parent I will make the final determination outside of what anyone tells me because the parents alone know their children and their neighborhoods. And if you don’t it’s your job to find out before allowing your child to free range it.

  52. pentamom April 19, 2015 at 3:29 pm #

    I’d really like to see some stats on what percentage of home invasions are committed by people known to the occupants. Where I live is by no means a crime-free community (my own neighborhood is quite good; the city as a whole is fairly troubled.) And the home invasions that are reported in the paper are at least half the time about people who are, shall we say, unreliable “business partners” in illicit lines of trade, or are engaged in that line of trade and somebody else figures out they keep the cash in the house. Or somebody has a grudge and wants to do a beatdown.

    IOW, if you’re not in some kind of illegal business, my impression is that your chance of a home invasion drops astronomically. (Not that it doesn’t happen other ways — there was a horrific case a couple of years ago about a “respectable” older couple left for dead after a home invasion, though they survived the incident itself.) I don’t know the actual stats, so it would be nice if they could be discovered.

  53. pentamom April 19, 2015 at 3:30 pm #

    I think he means “my sainted mother,” a way of saying “my late mother.” He just doesn’t know the correct expression.

  54. pentamom April 19, 2015 at 3:32 pm #

    Oh, I see Donna (who has far more experience than I) made the same point about home invasions.

  55. Miriam April 19, 2015 at 3:37 pm #

    SMH. I have no words. This makes me very sad.

  56. Carole April 19, 2015 at 3:50 pm #

    Dear Lenore,

    Your common sense and balanced outlook will overcome such ignorant responses to free range parenting. You are not alone in this approach. More and more parents are seeing the ridiculousness on how far society has gone in the name of “protecting” our children. I write this as I have two free ranged children (11 and 8) playing freely on our neighbourhood streets here in Ottawa with other free ranged kids. Stay strong and don’t abdicate!

  57. Beth April 19, 2015 at 3:56 pm #

    I found this on a US Dept of Justice website, as of 2010. *On average, household members became victims of violent crimes in about 266,560 burglaries annually. Offenders known to their victims accounted for 65% of these burglaries; strangers accounted for 28%.”

    There’s also a discussion of the varying definitions of “home invasion” both in common usage and in laws and ordinances. At my 911 center, our basic definition is one of the ones listed in this document: an occupied residence being forcibly entered with the intent of robbing and/or harming the occupants. In a great percentage of ours the suspects and victims are known to each other, and it’s due to whatever “booty” (drugs or money) the victims had in the residence. the victims are often uncooperative with the police.


  58. Mark April 19, 2015 at 3:57 pm #

    “I work in the Security Industry”. So does Paul Blart, Mall Cop but I’m not going to take child-rearing advice from him either.

  59. JKP April 19, 2015 at 3:57 pm #

    I would suggest using a different graphic other than the CNN graphic for this post. I know the note was in response to your appearance on the show, but just looking at the headline next to the graphic, someone glancing over your page would get the impression that CNN called you out and said that to you during your interview. That was what went through my mind before I actually read the article. So the graphic next to the headline gives those words more credibility than they deserve.

  60. SKL April 19, 2015 at 4:14 pm #

    LOL. What can I say to that?

    FRK has been around a while now, so one would expect that the rates of child molestations, kidnappings, murders, pedestrian and bike accidents, and so on would have skyrocketed if the popular fears were valid. Have they?

  61. Arlington Mom April 19, 2015 at 4:34 pm #

    We are fighting for our freedom to parent responsibly without being prosecuted or interfered with by authorities. I don’t care if my neighbors thing I’m weird. My kids will grow up to by your kids’ boss because I’m raising independent, self-confident people.

    I had several folks mention they read free range articles and started conversing with me like I’d never heard of it. I respond with, “How much time do you have?”. Because right away I want to start giving them all of the crime stats Lenore has organized for us. Its safer than EVER people. We should be celebrating not hiding.

  62. J.T. Wenting April 19, 2015 at 4:38 pm #

    “He seems to prove a point that I don’t think he was trying to make. According to the naysayers, the supposed safest place for a child is under the watchful eyes of their parents. However, if home invasions are such a real threat, then it proves that children aren’t any safer with their parents from all of these insane animals. He, more or less, suggests that parents can’t protect themselves either.”

    and that therefore children should ALL be wards of the state, taken at birth and put in special high security compounds to be raised and nurtured by government trained and appointed experts, prepared for their proper role in society.
    How else can we ensure that no child ever goes astray?

  63. pentamom April 19, 2015 at 4:39 pm #

    Thanks, Beth. Research was always the thing I hated most of all in school, and I don’t have the knack some have of knowing where to look and drilling down through various websites to find what I’m looking for.

  64. Mommala April 19, 2015 at 5:30 pm #

    Ugh, another moron claiming to be so smart, yet I counted several errors in his spelling/grammar. Idiot.

  65. Karon April 19, 2015 at 5:53 pm #

    Drunken monkey. Much better description than I was thinking!

  66. Dan April 19, 2015 at 5:55 pm #

    “Home security is in 10 times the homes now then when we were kids.”

    That’s because before leash laws we all had big dogs on our doorsteps. They were amazing home security. They were excellent kid security also. Always keeping an eye on “their” kids wherever they went in the neighborhood and raising alarm to any danger.

  67. K April 19, 2015 at 6:53 pm #

    Are “Beautiful Children” a brand of kids? And “your a complete idiot” is some solid stuff too. Sounds like a swell guy to take time out of his day to email insults at people he disagrees with, IMHO. I wish he was my dad, what with his 24 years of experience and all. Ha!

  68. Mark April 19, 2015 at 7:07 pm #

    Not surprising this story came from someone in the “Security” industry. Along with insurance and many other “merchants of fear” industries these people always have a vested interest in making the environment appear more dangerous than it actually is. And they attack anyone who spreads calm or reason or anything that will enable people to think for themselves and make their own decisions. Really, “home invasions represent about 3% of all break ins”! So we have a 97% chance of not having a home invasion. Sounds like pretty good numbers to me and a very, very low level of risk. But if you make a dollar out of selling guns or alarms or security patrols you wanna make very sure that people find that 3% figure absolutely terrifying. But it’s a long bow to draw and the message falls flat for most people. Keep it up Lenore…. just keep spreading the calm and the reason and the reassurance. And we’ll all be better for it.

  69. Donald April 19, 2015 at 7:38 pm #

    He works in the security industry and constantly bombarded with the crime statistics that are colored to favor the crime prevention industry. He’s obviously biased. I worked as a phone councilor and was constantly bombarded with people that have low/nill self esteem. I’m also biased. I recognize that. That’s why I try to be open minded.

    Open minded is a concept that’s completely foreign to this troll

  70. Donna April 19, 2015 at 7:50 pm #

    Pentamom – Also keep in mind that not all stranger home invasions are created equal. I’ve resolved 3 home invasion cases since January. In one case, the victim was known to the defendant (one of the defendants anyway). The other two were technically done by strangers in that the victims and perpetrators had never actually met to their knowledge, however the victims were both specifically targeted because they were known drug dealers and they all had some common associates.

  71. Will April 19, 2015 at 8:13 pm #

    He works in the security industry.

    Ipso facto, he has a vested interest in keeping people afraid of their shadows, and other non-existent threats.

    His opinion can be safely ignored.

  72. Jeff April 19, 2015 at 8:17 pm #

    Interesting that this educated person cannot spell ‘their’ [treasures], “you’re” [a complete idiot], nor properly capitalize words… but that’s merely grammar.

    The counter-point I have is, “if you are so afraid of break ins and home invasion, why NOT let the kids play outside?”

  73. Puzzled April 19, 2015 at 9:16 pm #

    I noticed that injuries and illnesses seemed to go up instantly when I became a paramedic…

    A person who works in ‘security’ claiming that the world is dangerous reminds me of an undertaker claiming that almost all of their clients are dead, and therefore, everyone is suddenly dropping dead.

    Somehow, that 3% of break-ins are home invasions, if true, is trotted out to support…what exactly? That the world is unsafe? I don’t know if this number is up over time or not, but if it is, one way for it to go up would be a general reduction in break-ins. If break-ins in general fall, the remaining ones are likely being carried out by the most hardened of the potential burglars.

    Also, mentioning that you speak very eloquently somehow reminds of me Joe Biden introducing Obama as a well-spoken, educated, Black man.

  74. JJ April 19, 2015 at 10:18 pm #

    He says he has two Beautiful Children but how many average and/ or unattractive children does he have?

  75. Jodi April 19, 2015 at 10:56 pm #

    Security industry? Well then, it looks like you got an email from Paul Blart, Mall Cop.

  76. SOA April 19, 2015 at 11:10 pm #

    If he is going to start freaking out about home invasions than apparently our kids are not even safe in their own homes. So I guess they are never safe?? Was that the point he was making?

  77. Bri Nelson April 20, 2015 at 1:19 am #

    Also, I have a hard time siding with someone so passionate, yet doesn’t know the difference between “there” and “their”. Ouch.

  78. PG April 20, 2015 at 2:26 am #

    Hopefully he doesn’t send his kids to the same school where he learned grammar. When you write: “because your [sic] a complete idiot.”, you really are showing us who the complete idiot is. I have a suggestion for the author of this letter: next time you want to correspond with someone, have your kids write it for you. At least you won’t look like a complete idiot.

  79. sexhysteria April 20, 2015 at 3:12 am #

    The most dangerous adults I ever came into contact with were my parents, and this “father” reminds me of them. Who’s going to protect kids from parents like that?

  80. Warren April 20, 2015 at 6:58 am #

    HIs “Saint of Mother” is more than likely supposed to be “Saint of a Mother”. Something said by the Irish. And Mom does not have to be dead to be called that.

    @Jana, please I know this guy is off the deepend, but just because a man disagrees with a woman, it does not make him sexist. I have disagreed with many women over my life, and I promise you I am not sexist by any means.

  81. Kerry April 20, 2015 at 7:18 am #

    He certainly doesn’t take after his sainted mother in eloquent speaking!

  82. Dhewco April 20, 2015 at 7:26 am #

    To be fair, I’ve known some reasonably smart people who post online and not bother with spelling or grammar. (not to mention punctuation) They seem to have this stream of consciousness thing going where they just type their thoughts and then are too lazy to edit themselves afterward. I don’t agree with anything this guy is saying, I’m just saying his writing skills don’t necessarily mean he’s uneducated.

    Just lazy.


  83. Christopher Byrne April 20, 2015 at 7:59 am #

    The great danger of our time is….adult narcissism. The prevailing notion that if something COULD happen, it WILL happen. No amount of statistics or experience is going to dissuade people. Why? Because there is a kind of high that comes with the notion that one is a fierce protector of one’s children. Better yet, one can get the high of protecting one’s children in the face of cataclysmic danger, particularly when that danger is virtually non-existent.

    When did we become a culture that wants to protect our children from the world, rather than preparing them for the world? But that’s the point of this whole blog and movement.

    One of the major differences I see in our time versus my own (when admittedly the earth’s crust was not quite as cool as it is now), is that whereas parents once allowed kids to do things, grit their teeth and hoped for the best even when they were unsure if the kids were ready to do whatever; today’s parents give their kids very little leeway for fear of what a rare accident how an upsetting outcome would reflect on them. The balance of the inevitable risk/reward ratio that has always been an inherent part of parenting has shifted. Rather than being considered in the context of the child, this kind of fear shifts it to the context of the parent.

    Now that parenting is a competitive activity, fueled by blogs and sensationalistic news media, the desire is to “win” at that, rather than do what is best for an individual child. In our extensive and ongoing interviews with parents, the objective we hear is “being the best parent,” not raising a confident, competent child. These two positions are not synonymous, though they often are presented that way. When the focus is on the parent and his or her experience and how she or she is perceived in an ever-broader community (Thanks, Internet.), the desire is for the perfect result. But parenting and growing up is a messy process for all involved. It’s trial and error, but millennia of survival of the species would indicate that there’s a lot more success than today’s fear-mongers-for-profit would want you to believe.

    Yes, accidents will happen. Tragedies will occur. But shouldn’t the consideration always be what’s best for the individual kid? Some kids will be ready to go to the park at 7. Some at 10. But all kids want, and need, at some point, to spread their wings. We must continue to fight back against those who would want all kids wings to be clipped because of adult fear, or more appropriately, fear-driven ego.

  84. Andrew April 20, 2015 at 9:40 am #

    He’s in the security industry, or course he’s going to have that opinion. Shame on you Lanore, for trying to take away from this man’s business.

  85. Andrea April 20, 2015 at 9:59 am #

    I cannot believe I just spent precious time from my life reading that drivel.

  86. Mary April 20, 2015 at 10:22 am #

    “Home invasions account for about 3% of all break-ins.”

    Then what, in God’s name, accounts for the OTHER 97% of break-ins? Rabid zebras? Errant thunderstorms? UFOs?

    I’m dying to know!

  87. pentamom April 20, 2015 at 11:09 am #

    Mary, in case your question is serious, a home invasion is a break-in where the residents are home at the time of the crime, per Donna. (Donna, do they also have to be awake and aware of the break-in, or merely present?)

    So all burglaries that take place when the home is empty, account for the other 97%.

    None of which has anything WHATSOEVER to do with Free Range parenting. Free Range parenting does not oppose alarm systems, and no other facet of the philosophy has any bearing whatsoever on what happens when people break in to your home, whether you’re there or not, except for the aspect that we might be more inclined to leave our kids home without an adult supervisor. Still, even that doesn’t bear on the home invasion stats, since those stats do not in any way reflect whether kids were with parents or caregivers at the time, or without them. Nor does the presence of a parent automatically make a home invasion situation either disappear, or become less dangerous.

    (I steadily resist using the word “alone” because that’s the word the media/helicopter types like to use indiscriminately, regardless of how many children were present. And two or three or more children together are not “alone,” regardless of how desirable it might or might not be to leave them without adult supervision in a given situation.)

  88. Rachel April 20, 2015 at 12:30 pm #

    I once had my car door blow open and bonk the car next to me. The man got out of his car and preceded to repeatedly hit my car with HIS door. It was stupid, he was stupid and it still rattles me a bit. This guy sounds the same, why the nice lure to then be so base and nasty? I know you’ll not let it outwardly rattle you but it wouldn’t rate a blog if it didn’t rattle some part of you. Please don’t. I hope there are enough of us to balance out HIM.

    And in a paraphrase of our favourite princess… ‘ let children go! Let children go! Can’t hold them in any more!”

  89. Donna April 20, 2015 at 12:50 pm #

    “(Donna, do they also have to be awake and aware of the break-in, or merely present?)”

    Generally aware of the break-in. A “home invasion” is considered a violent crime, as opposed to a property crime. It usually anticipates that the victims are aware of the invasion, in contact with the perpetrators and a certain amount of intimidation is used against them. I’ve had cases where a burglar broke into a home while the residents slept and that was not something we considered a home invasion.

    In my state, home invasion an actual defined crime. To be committed the perpetrator has to enter a dwelling with (1) the intent to commit a FORCIBLE crime, (2) armed with a weapon, and (3) while a person authorized to be there is present. There is no stated requirement that the occupants be aware, but a forcible crime is a crime against a person – eg armed robbery, rape, child molestion, kidnapping, assault, battery – so it seems hard to have that without having the person also awake and aware. I suppose it would be possible for someone to be raped or otherwise assaulted without ever waking (good sleeping pills?) so maybe …. The law is only a year old so there have been no appellate decisions interpreting it yet that I am aware of.

  90. JP Merzetti April 20, 2015 at 1:07 pm #

    You know, it’s kind of a sad thing in a way, that a freerange banner even has to be flown like a war flag.
    But then again, the issue has always been about claiming freedom.
    …..which somehow got lost along the way.
    I recently went book shopping for my grandkids. They haven’t arrived yet, but I believe in being prepared (I was a boy scout.)
    While talking with my son, we mused upon the idea that perhaps by the time they show up “books” as we know them, will have become rare. I hope not.
    One of the books I found in my travels was a beautiful edition of Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn.
    What child of the future will not marvel at the freedom that Huck had?
    True…..he was somewhat challenged by the idiocy of adults – but his freedom more than made up for all of that.
    I first read it as a boy, and because of my “Finn-ish” kind of boyhood, I could relate, well enough.

    A free range kid was always a kid who had certain freedoms.
    Examining the ideology that removes those freedoms from the lives of children, we must consider the reasons, and wonder why a child is so precious that they must be made un-free.
    Freedom has been bartered away and privatized, as it were – by corporatized industries which capitalize on the condition, aided and abetted by governmental policy.
    And in this way, children become value-added.

    I am not surprised that in many other corners of our brave little planet, many who believe different (“Backward” in their thinking) – would be astonished at a nation which has waved Freedom’s flag for two and a half centuries, and yet commodifies it in such bizarre fashion. America advertises the very notion of freedom to the world, yet denies its basic premise to its citizens, based on an ageist premise.
    As a kid, I soaked up all the freedom America could advertise…..and dreamed great dreams thereupon until I could claim it fully for my own. Do kids no longer do this? Incapable of such? I think not.
    Yet their voices remain curiously silent…..as if waiting for their elders and betters to make up their minds, come to their senses, admit their mistakes, and do the right thing.
    A nation whose powerful policy wonks have become as children themselves, incapable of figuring it out – is a nation mired in misery and distress. Befuddled by the very notion of crime itself, let alone whatever actual crimes it must deal with, and contain, for the betterment of all.

    As a kid, I came to understand the price of freedom. Worth every penny paid.
    How and why is it, really, that we seemingly cannot afford that, anymore?
    I don’t see Free Range as an ideology which must wage war against its mirror opposites, whatever they might be.
    I see it as a simple cry for freedom. Kids doing simple, everyday normal things. Kids being kids.
    You know….I always was on their side. This took a lot of effort, care and a fair bit of wisdom. But mostly – good old common sense. Which I (thankfully) had, because I had learned it.
    Why do we no longer trust it? Why have we become so fearful of our incapability to employ it?

    The life of a child goes by in a flash. (Not to them, but to us who shine the lighthouse beams of guidance.)
    A precious time in which we have such a short opportunity to get it right. In which this freedom that we so revere must be passed on to those rising up to grasp its torch.
    Freedom will not negotiate its terms. It will prevail. That is the whole point.

    Those who dreamt of freedom always understood its true value.

  91. JP Merzetti April 20, 2015 at 1:11 pm #

    Christopher Byrne,

    5-minute standing ovation
    (the sound of two hands clapping)

  92. peter April 20, 2015 at 1:19 pm #

    “There” “Their”

    Learn it, know it, live it.

  93. Mary April 20, 2015 at 2:27 pm #

    Lenore, keep on doing what you are doing. I share a lot of your articles with my colleagues at Wal-Mart (who are very intelligent and well read by the way). We are all appalled by the way the government and busybodies interferes with parents who want their children to grow up healthy in mind and body.

    @Warren, Wal-Mart does not have wannabe security guards. What we DO have are undercover shoppers who go around the store “shopping” while making sure as much as humanely possible that theft is minimized. Also we have cameras to help with security. Just to let you know. (Also most of us who work there are educated with proper grammar and spelling.)

  94. JJ April 20, 2015 at 2:52 pm #

    Donna thanks for clarifying the definition of home invasion. I was wondering. Our house was robbed when we were upstairs as many of our neighbors’ houses have been. Then robbers smash and grab and flee. I never thought of it as a home invasion. Though if one if us had come downstairs and seen them in the flesh I don’t think we’d ever be the same.

  95. Havva April 20, 2015 at 3:14 pm #

    I’m glad I’m not the only one thinking alternate ‘let it go’ lyrics. A little while back, I mentioned an idea for alternate lyrics and my then 3 year old started singing them frequently.
    “Let me go, Let me go,
    Don’t hold me back anymore.
    Let me go, Let me go,
    *Wave good by and close the door.
    I don’t care, what the neighbors say.
    Let me run and play.
    Their fears never bothered me anyway.”

    *Perhaps this line should be “Say ‘have fun’ and close the door”

    At 4 my daughter has taken to speaking clearly, and passionately, of her desire to go do things and go places independently. Granted her desires often exceed her abilities at this point. So she would be waiting on several of her wishes, even if there were no CPS peril.

    But she also has reasonable desires. And without CPS peril, I could give my daughter a few minutes to cross the synagogue and fetch a napkin without following her. And we wouldn’t have needed the conversation a little while back where she begged me to stop following her, and asked me to go back to the library and my book, but, I had to respond with ‘I can’t allow that’. She has decidedly spotted the cult of inconvenience. She asks often, why can’t you keep doing x, just because I want/need y? That is the hardest part of explaining the limits I’m putting on her. I can explain ‘If you can’t open the door, it’s not safe to leave you on the other side of it.’ But I can’t get her to understand why a police officer in our synagogue makes it less safe for her to fetch her napkin alone, rather than more so.

    What good is security, if it takes our freedom?

  96. Roger the Shrubber April 20, 2015 at 3:17 pm #

    Lenore – please continue to relay similar emails you receive. The intelligence of the gentleman’s arguments assures us that we are in the right!

  97. Warren April 20, 2015 at 3:20 pm #

    It was a joke. You know…..humour. Sheesh.

  98. Roger the Shrubber April 20, 2015 at 3:39 pm #

    Havva – if a police officer’s presence in your synagogue is preventing you from letting your daughter walk across a room without you being by her side, it is time to have a discussion with your fellow worshipers on the purpose of his presence.

    I am always baffled by those who argue for a police presence on schools or churches. Their presence is invited to protect the attendees from the rarest of occurrences. I know it’s a tragedy should the most unlikely of events occur. But the horrific nature of the tragedy does not make it any more likely. So what’s a bored PO to do while he’s waiting for the most unlikely of event to occur? Enforce petty laws against those he was invited to protect and escalate student behavioral issues to criminal offences, of course!

    Your synagogue should be providing for their own security, hiring a private firm, if necessary, not inviting an unaccountable police presence that is a bigger threat to the attendees than that which he is intended to protect against.

    PS. What is the Jewish equivalent of congregant?

  99. Stephanie April 20, 2015 at 3:52 pm #

    I have a fondness for the deactivated security system in my house – the doors still beep when opened, and that was a huge help when my youngest was two and delighted in trying to run out of the house on me, especially when she figured out how the locks worked. It hasn’t been useful otherwise.

  100. Papilio April 20, 2015 at 4:23 pm #

    “This may be a minor point, but if my head WAS in my ass, how could he have heard what I was saying?”
    😀 And: how on earth did you read his letter?

    “Lenore – please continue to relay similar emails you receive.!”
    I second that. It’s just fun to apply logic to this kind of idiotic letter…

    @Crystal: ” […] after being shredded by someone with such a high IQ? ;-)” BUT:
    Letter writer: “your a complete idiot”
    I guess that must mean she’s still in one piece? 🙂

    @Sigh: “I have a hard time overcoming poor spelling and grammar, awkward syntax”
    So do I, but since English is my second language (could be his, too!), I try not to judge (and no doubt make mistakes myself!).
    “and annoying acronyms.” Okay, I’m probably guilty on that account. Sorry 🙂

  101. Havva April 20, 2015 at 4:48 pm #

    @Roger the Shrubber,
    It wasn’t across the room. It was from one side to the other of a sizable building. Through the entire school area, past offices, and out to a social area by the front doors. There are about a half dozen places closer to where I was with appropriate paper products, but they are in dispensers mounted well over her head, rather than on a table where she can reach. So she wanted to go get a napkin from the social area, because she could do it herself.

    I did such things at her age (and extremely small size) and the hens clucked about it then too. Thought I would go off course, or leave the building. They rushed to scold my mom about it but mom told them to calm down and open their eyes to what I was capable of. I don’t want to risk it when it is easier to complain to authority than give me a tongue lashing.

    Our congregation was the last in the area to start paying for off-duty cops, and I would have liked for us to stay without. But that is my beef with the board, and their ‘but everyone else is doing it’ rationale. There are some really great parents who make it possible to proto free range our younger kids at the synagogue. The police officers aren’t even overly stringent. People still drop elementary age kids off for Hebrew school right in front of them…. come to think of it, maybe I just need to have a little chat with the officer and feel the situation out a little better.

    P.S. Congregant is still the word.
    Thanks for the help in thinking this through.

  102. That '70s Mom April 20, 2015 at 5:25 pm #

    He must think very highly of your ass because he capitalized it. Thanks for the laugh! On a more positive note, I live in Rhode Island and frequently listen to WBGH (the Boston NPR station). Last week 2 commentators started discussing free-range parenting and had their medical ethicist weighing in. He was extremely supportive of the concept, as were the commentators and every caller. If you’re interested in the actual conversation, here’s the link: http://wgbhnews.org/post/medical-ethicist-art-caplan-late-life-pregnancy-sex-and-alzheimers-and-free-range-parenting.

  103. Peter April 20, 2015 at 8:31 pm #

    […] and work in the Security industry.

    Considering his language skills, I’m guessing he’s a security guard.

    My roommate once dated a security guard. Nice enough guy, but he definitely had a twisted view of reality on account of having been shot at a few times. He was one of those people who didn’t like to sit in a restaurant with his back to the door, just in case something happened.

    I’ve seen police with a similar attitude. I’d imagine that the first time you deal with some child being abused and killed, it makes you think twice about what could happen.

    Personally, I feel sorry for these people.

  104. Peter Grace April 20, 2015 at 11:44 pm #

    Oh come on. Don’t be reactionary. The media frequently blows things out of proportion. It good for kids to be self reliant. Sure bad stuff still happens, but self defense is a human right so I wish the pols would stop disarming people so they can defend self and family.

  105. Bob Davis April 21, 2015 at 2:45 am #

    Why do I think that a person in the “security” industry is not an unbiased commentator? Back about a hundred years ago, one of the predecessors of the company where I worked for many years ran a ad campaign: “Let electricity be your watchdog! Burglars will not raid where there is light!” Unwritten message: If you have us connect your home to our electric system, the bad guys will be more likely to hit the fellow down the street who still uses kerosene lamps. Nowadays, we have campaigns to “harden the target”, with locksmiths selling deadbolts and home improvement stores selling doors that would stop a charging rhino. Police-blotter reports on the nightly news make even the more peaceful communities seem to be crawling with creeps and housebreakers. Gun manufacturers and sellers want every law abiding citizen to buy their products to combat the evil army of thieves and bandits. There’s profit in peril!

  106. Nancy Boyle April 21, 2015 at 2:53 am #

    I cannot believe that the parents of the ten year old and six year old are at it again and that THEY are threatening to sue anyone. They DESERVE to lose custody of those kids. A ten year old cannot be expected to protect a six year old. Those kids deserve parents who give a damn. What is their problem that THEY can’t get off their asses and take their kids to the park. These are not caring parents they are lazy parents.

    Crime has not lessened it has increased and you are totally irresponsible to put that crap into the “minds” of idiots who would actually listen to you. Do you ever look at the news? Probably not, because you wouldn’t want to confuse the crap you spout with facts. Have you never heard of Adam Walsh if not Google him. He was a sweet little six year old who was in Sears with his mom and wandered about two aisles away from mom. They never saw him alive again and it took a couple of years but the found his body. DECAPITATED! Polly Klass, Jacob Whetherling of Wisconsin, Samantha Runion, Jessica Lunsford, Megan Kanka, Carlie Brucia, Molly Bisch, Amber Dubois, Danielle van Dam, Casey Williamson, Kelsey Smith (a teenager who could not stop her abduction and muster, and the list goes on and on. Nothing will happen to your kids because the universe has to protect them because their parents are irresponsible.

  107. Papilio April 21, 2015 at 7:16 am #

    @Nancy Boyle: Now please don’t comment again until you can provide us with a list of all the kids who DIDN’T get murdered between 1981 and today. Oh, and a reliable source saying crime has increased would be nice, too.

  108. Roger the Shrubber April 21, 2015 at 7:16 am #

    It appears that Nancy Boyle, the wife of the original emailer, has stopped by to defend her husband. Nancy is more coherent in her use of the English language but makes the same argument – if you don’t supervise your children to their satisfaction and kidnappers, molesters, and murderers fail to act on the opportunity, the state should step in to fill the void. It wouldn’t be right that these kids lead a peaceful existence in their community, free from the unreasonable fear that their life is in constant danger from those that wish to do them harm. How is her husband to make a living if parents think that their children are safe to perform such mundane activities as walking an entire mile unaccompanied? Haven’t these parents heard? She listed 14 cases that have occurred over the course of 30 years in a nation of 360 million people! If statistics like that can’t convince parents that their children should never be further than an arm’s length away, a group home filled with unrelated strangers would be a much safer environment in which to raise these children.

  109. Papilio April 21, 2015 at 7:42 am #

    @Roger: 360 million? I thought it was 318? What country did you guys just conquer? 😛

  110. Donna April 21, 2015 at 7:58 am #

    Nancy Boyle –

    Polly Klaus, Danielle Van Damm, Jessica Lunceford and Casey Williamson were all kidnapped from inside their own home while their parents were sleeping. So I suppose an adult stays up in your house 24/7 to avoid this happening?

    Amber Dubois was 14 and Kelsey Smith was an ADULT at 18. Are you seriously insisting that women should NEVER be allowed out alone in case they are murdered? At what point does it become okay for people to leave the house without supervision? 20? 40? Once their parents are dead?

  111. Warren April 21, 2015 at 8:36 am #


    I am not without sympathy for any parent that loses a child. But are you like me? Getting sick and tired of hearing about Adam Walsh?

    All these overprotective fearful parents hold him up like he is the poster child for constant parental supervision. The thing is he was with his mother. He was supervised. And I do not remember anyone back then or since then calling for his mother’s head on a stake for letting him get killed. (I am not saying it was her fault.) That is how they are treating the Metiv’s and others, yet Adam’s parents are folkheroes.

    I personally do blame John Walsh for a lot of what parents have to deal with today. He has been more of a curse than a help.

  112. Donna April 21, 2015 at 9:04 am #

    Warren, I am sick of hearing about Adam Walsh, but that has a lot to do with my hatred for John Walsh and the fact that he exploited his child’s death to make himself rich.

  113. BL April 21, 2015 at 9:41 am #

    “360 million? I thought it was 318? What country did you guys just conquer?”

    I think that includes illegal immigrants.

  114. Roger the Shrubber April 21, 2015 at 11:29 am #

    Papilio – making up statistics to bolster your argument is a time honored internet tradition.

  115. emw April 21, 2015 at 12:28 pm #

    I might give his letter at least some credence if he could spell correctly. Nah! I don’t think so!

  116. Buffy April 21, 2015 at 1:19 pm #

    @Nancy Boyle, I’m 5’2″ 110#, and I’m pretty sure I can’t be expected to protect myself. Seriously, how am I going to fend off anyone intent on doing me harm? I guess you believe I should never go out unsupervised.

    And I second Donna’s question: Do you stare at your kids all night long while they sleep (do they sleep in the same room?) and then sleep during the day while they’re at school? What happens in the summer when you have to stare at them 24 hours a day? Lesson to be learned: If you’re trying to make a point about walking to the park, don’t use the names of 4 kids kidnapped from INSIDE their homes during sleeping hours as examples.

    We’re not idiots.

  117. bsolar April 21, 2015 at 1:58 pm #

    @Nancy Boyle, let’s address your points one by one:

    > “I cannot believe that the parents of the ten year old and six year old are at it again and that THEY are threatening to sue anyone. They DESERVE to lose custody of those kids.”

    This is not yours to decide. Even CPS was unable to prove neglect, that’s why their previous investigation found it to be “unsubstantiated”. Many pointed out that the Constitution gives parents a lot of freedom in these kinds of decisions, which means the decision of letting them alone at the park is likely to be well within the parent’s discretional rights. On top of that, custody is not revoked to punish parents, but in the sole interest of the children: in this case it’s absolutely clear that the children are better with these parent than in foster care. Even if you disagree with some of the parent’s decisions it doesn’t mean the children are suffering from that.

    > “A ten year old cannot be expected to protect a six year old. Those kids deserve parents who give a damn. What is their problem that THEY can’t get off their asses and take their kids to the park. These are not caring parents they are lazy parents.”

    The problem is “protect from what”. From getting lost? Of course he can. From a psychopath armed with a shotgun rampaging through the park? He cannot, but likely neither *you* can protect your children or yourself from that.

    > “Crime has not lessened it has increased and you are totally irresponsible to put that crap into the “minds” of idiots who would actually listen to you. Do you ever look at the news? Probably not, because you wouldn’t want to confuse the crap you spout with facts.”

    It’s not a matter of opinion, facts are available from government organizations in the form of publicly available statistics. Check the facts, read the official statistics, notice how the rate of crimes per population are almost constantly decreasing and try to figure out who is “spouting crap”.

  118. Rinowish April 21, 2015 at 3:49 pm #

    If speaking up for free range parenting has taught me anything, it is that people who are against it are speaking from a mindset of FEAR. It is an place of emotion, which is much more “real” to them than any logical facts and statistics that prove otherwise. That being said, here come some facts and statistics found on the Bureau of Justice Statistics web site (http://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/ascii/vdhb.txt)

    Households composed of married couples WITHOUT children
    experienced the lowest rates of both types of burglary when no
    one was home (14 per 1,000 households) and while a household
    member was present (4 per 1,000 households).

    Single heads of households male (59 per 1,000 households) and
    female (54 per 1,000 households) living WITH children
    experienced the highest rates of burglary while no household
    member was present. Households composed of single females with
    children had the highest rate of burglary while someone was
    home (22 per 1,000 households). There was no consistent pattern
    in the risk of being present during a burglary between
    households composed of single males with children and other
    household compositions.

    This is slightly older data, but it clearly shows that houses WITH CHILDREN are hit more than homes without children. So if this guy is using home invasions as argument, he doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

    2. @Nancy Boyle – The vast majority of missing children in this country are either runaways, family abductions or family acquaintance abductions. In fact, the national average for stereo typical “stranger danger” kidnappings is about 115 per year, and of those, 57% (or 65) end with the return of this child. So there 50 each year that do unfortunately end tragically. But out of 74.2 million children under the age of 18 (according to 2010 census) that is 1 / 10,000th of a percent.

    I don’t suppose any of this will make any difference in swaying your opinion, but it is not negligence, it is not lazy. It is letting kids go outside and play like anyone over the age of 30 did when they were kids. You’re basically calling your parents (or at least their entire generation) lazy and negligent.

  119. Wow... April 21, 2015 at 4:00 pm #

    @Nancy Boyle:

    Yes, I watch the news. The news, however, is trying to get viewers/readers…whatever. The news is SELLING a STORY. Just like any other advertisement, it shouldn’t be taken as a unbiased review on the product. Check out stats or ebay listings for those, depending on whether you’re talking about actual dangers or actual quality of product.

  120. Wow... April 21, 2015 at 4:08 pm #

    Whoops…I meant ebay reviews,not listings. Or magazine reviews. The point is that advertisements are not reviews.

  121. bsolar April 21, 2015 at 4:15 pm #

    @Wow…, on top of your explanation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Availability_heuristic#Media

    > “After seeing news stories about child abductions, people may judge that the likelihood of this event is greater. Media coverage can help fuel a person’s example bias with widespread and extensive coverage of unusual events, such as homicide or airline accidents, and less coverage of more routine, less sensational events, such as common diseases or car accidents. For example, when asked to rate the probability of a variety of causes of death, people tend to rate “newsworthy” events as more likely because they can more readily recall an example from memory. Moreover, unusual and vivid events like homicides, shark attacks, or lightning are more often reported in mass media than common and un-sensational causes of death like common diseases.[8]

    For example, many people think that the likelihood of dying from shark attacks is greater than that of dying from being hit by falling airplane parts, when more people actually die from falling airplane parts. When a shark attack occurs, the deaths are widely reported in the media whereas deaths as a result of being hit by falling airplane parts are rarely reported in the media.”

  122. Chuck99 April 21, 2015 at 5:54 pm #

    What I want to know is – how safe is safe enough? How old should a child be before bathing themselves, or going to the bathroom by themselves? Do you really KNOW that every person in that school or bus driver or grocery store clerk is really safe?

    Think about it, this person has two children, so obviously he either left the elder unaccompanied, or had sex while the child was present (a felony in my state). Either way, he’s obviously not a very good parent by his own standards…

    It really is amazing that we lived long enough for civilization to rise, isn’t it?

  123. Beth April 21, 2015 at 6:44 pm #

    I guess Nancy Boyle posted and ran….come to think of it, I have a hard time staring at my kids in order to protect them AND being on the computer. Sigh. I’m a terrible mother.

  124. Adventuregirl April 21, 2015 at 7:53 pm #

    Line #9: *You’re =P

  125. Suzanne April 21, 2015 at 10:56 pm #

    Apparently someone in that exchange is uninformed and spreading a “jumble of nonsense” but it isn’t you. in addition to his many typos (improper capitalization) and apparent lack of understanding the difference between you’re and your or then and than; how can your thoughts be well thought out and it appear as though you have done your research if it is also uninformed and nonsense. I think this guy is a complete idiot. Good point too about him not being able to hear you if your head was in your ass (which is not a proper noun unless you have actually named your bottom).

  126. Jen April 22, 2015 at 10:16 am #

    I will not be the grammar police, I will not be the grammar police, I will not be the grammar police…

    For a 47 year old, his writing is worse than some teenagers I know. I will try to be generous, and assume he was sooooo upset, he just couldn’t muster the correct spelling. Yeah, that’s it.

  127. pentamom April 22, 2015 at 11:02 am #

    Papilio — Niederland. Don’t you watch the news?

  128. Wow... April 22, 2015 at 11:48 am #

    @Pentamom: The news isn’t an unbiased review, anyway.

  129. Jenny Islander April 22, 2015 at 2:32 pm #

    @Mary: Was it Wal-Mart that published the study showing that having employees say hi and offer help is at least as effective at preventing shoplifting as any other security measure?

  130. Adam Freeman April 23, 2015 at 4:23 am #

    If he’s so worried about home invasion, maybe he should let his kids outside more.

  131. Jill April 23, 2015 at 4:51 pm #

    Oh, gosh! Look how he capitalizes random words like “Father” and “Beautiful Children” and goes on to say that you remind him of his “Saint of Mother.”
    Either he’s a wack-o or English isn’t his native language.
    I vote for wack-o.
    And “home invasion” is just a new, scary cop term for “burglary when people are home.”

  132. Papilio April 23, 2015 at 5:48 pm #

    @Pentamom: If that’s a fictional country in a book or movie, I’m afraid I don’t know it…??

  133. Wow... April 23, 2015 at 6:45 pm #

    @Papilo: Google translate says that ‘Neiderland’ is German for ‘Netherlands’.

  134. Clarke April 25, 2015 at 1:20 am #

    Hi, I’m really interested in free range parenting from here in New Zealand where it is illegal to leave children under the age of 14 unattended. Seeing the neighbourhood come alive on Halloween with kids ruling the street reminds me of what it was like most days of the week in my youth and wonder what’s changed so much. Obviously there are many factors such as both parents working full time meaning less actual time at home for kids and more time in care, but what really interests me is the citation that it is statistically the safest time to be a kid in the US. Could some of this “safety” also be attributed of the helicopter parents we’re trying not to be? Does that factor in to it? And if so, how do we strike a balance?

  135. Wow... April 25, 2015 at 4:56 am #


    Getting that ‘under 14 unattended’ a better definition might be a good start? How you’d do that, I don’t know.

  136. kaylee April 25, 2015 at 11:58 am #

    Dear Lenore: Let me start by saying I am a Father of two Extremely Helicoptered unhappy unimaginative Children, that never get to do anything unsupervised, and work in the Omg everything is dangerous industry.
    When I saw you speak on CNN, you remind me of my Saint of Mother only in the way you speak very eloquently and well educated. Your thoughts are well thought out and you appear to research your subject matter. However, you must have way too much time on your hands to engage in such łūñàçÿ (and by that I mean something PERFECTLY NORMAL AND GOOD). Free Range parenting is the single dûmßëšt, m0rœñîç įrrēßp0ńšï13/ę, jūmßłë øf ñœñæßéñšè I have ever heard in my 47 years of life and 24 years of parenting. Your normal and informed view will most surely lure addle minded parents like yourself into allowing there treasures (children), to be creative and worse, play UNSUPERVISED!!!! (Gasp!) Do what you feel with your own kids. Don’t encourage such perfectly normal not-freaked-out-by-the-media Behaviour. We are by àłł means in a 50 year low in crime. Home invasions account for about 3% of all break-ins (which is Gasp!!!!! Soo much!!!!!!!!). These are desperate and insane animals. Home security is in 10 times the homes now then when we were kids. I also rode my bike to school when I was 10. We live in different times, bizarre and uncertain times (yeah, she knows, a parent could get arrested for letting their kid walk to the park?!?! That IS bizarre and uncertain!). God Bless America and the 1st amendment, that said, your infringing on the rights of all the children that will be affected in horrific ways and worse, because of your beliefs. Please get your head out of your Æßß before anymore good can be done.

  137. kaylee April 25, 2015 at 12:10 pm #

    Yep Ulys right…… He is obviously an insane psychologically challenged drunk monkey who’s been doing drugs.

  138. kaylee April 26, 2015 at 12:09 am #

    dear insane drunk monkey,
    Turn on your T.V RIGHT NOW and go watch bubble wrap kids