O Octomom, O Octomon (Sing Along!)

‘Tis Christmas Carol parody season. Here’s one of mine, below. For more — including “Text My Cell” to Jingle Bells, and “Frosty the Outsourced Snowman” —  check out ParentDish.com fssastzysf
and Creators.com, my two other gigs!  (And I won’t tell you which one has the Tiger Woods Greensleeves song, “Whose Texts Are These?”) — Lenore

by Lenore Skenazy

O Octomom, O Octomom
You hear the patter, pitter
Like Jon and Kate
You, too, had eight —
Except in just one litter
It must be hard to keep them fed
And patty-caked and put to bed
O Octomom don’t call upon
Me when you need a sitter.


27 Responses to O Octomom, O Octomon (Sing Along!)

  1. Jenifer December 23, 2009 at 2:31 am #


  2. Jen Connelly December 23, 2009 at 4:07 am #

    That’s so awful…but in a funny way.

  3. Nicola December 23, 2009 at 4:08 am #

    I don’t usually lose my sense of humor… but this one is a little disheartening for me. This woman has some mental issues, which were ignored by a terrible doctor who wanted her money. No – she can’t afford her children. No – she didn’t use common sense (mental illness pretty much does that to people in many cases).

    I’m not saying it’s not a disgusting thing to me – anyone having 8 kids + is just… well, disgusting to me for many reasons (which I won’t go into to keep this post short).

    But for her… someone should have stopped her – namely her doctor – and referred her to a place that she could have spent her money well, namely, a psychiatrist.

  4. Tracey R December 23, 2009 at 4:57 am #


  5. Tracey R December 23, 2009 at 5:01 am #

    Coming back to say I really enjoy rewriting lyrics. You have to have a good ear for rhythm and the flow of the words–otherwise it’s painful to listen to, instead of hilarious, like yours are! I used to do this every year for a company I work with.

  6. Kenny Felder December 23, 2009 at 6:27 am #

    I have such fond memories of reading parodies like this in “Mad” mag when I was a kid. “We three drunks” (to the tune of We Three Kings) and “Oh, little Bank Americard” (to Little Town of Bethlehem)–I can still quote large parts of those songs, even though I haven’t seen them since I was 12. You never know what effect you’re going to have if you have a good sense of humor and an audience!

  7. Blake December 23, 2009 at 8:42 am #

    I love this! It’s perfect!

    I always like the redneck comedy ones, like Foxworthy’s Redneck 12 Days of Christmas. There’s also the immortal Jingle Bombs (sung by Jeff Dunham’s Achmed the Dead Terrorist). I saw the latter live in Billings, MT a couple years ago.

  8. Ashley December 23, 2009 at 9:34 am #

    I’m going to agree with Nicola in that mocking a woman’s family choices is deeply unfunny, and offensive. It is further deeply sexist that all the societal ill-will is directed solely at this woman and not her doctor, who at the very minimum violated his oath and the standard practices of his profession.

    But clearly doctors, even mercenary quacks, are worthy of respect, and a woman who took a gamble and lost are HILARIOUS!


  9. RadiantLux December 23, 2009 at 11:19 am #

    I agree with Nicola. How very sad.

  10. Uly December 23, 2009 at 12:02 pm #

    I also agree with Nicola – I don’t think it’s appropriate to tell people they can or can’t have kids. I might personally disagree with somebody’s choices, but I figure that you can’t be pro-choice unless you really believe in, well, choice.

    And while it’s clear that her choices weren’t made in sound mind, that’s not a very funny thing. If her mental health is so poor that it’s acceptable to take away her reproductive choices – a *very* troubling situation, given the history of eugenics in this country – it’s not really funny. It’s sad and unfortunate.

    And it *is* curious how her choices are criticized, but not the actions of her doctor who implanted 8 embryos in the first place, against all medical sense.

    I would also submit that this isn’t really a very free-range issue unless her children (btw, she’s got a name, you know) are being kept locked in the house all the time.

  11. Jewellya December 23, 2009 at 12:12 pm #

    “implanted 8 embryos in the first place, against all medical sense”

    Not saying the doctor wasn’t as foolish as his patient, but the facts are he implanted 6 embryos and all took with two splitting into twins.

    I’ve read an article on DOUBLEX.COM or SLATE where it was argued that if fertility proceedures were at least partially subsidized the way they are in europe, then we wouldn’t be trying for the “more bang for your buck” method and have more modest IVF attempts that would yield one, maybe two babies, healthy, heavy and more likely to term.

  12. Mae Mae December 23, 2009 at 12:14 pm #

    Ok, I thought it was hilarious but I’ve been swayed by comments here. Funny but not in good taste, maybe? I don’t know, I’m off to check out the other ones.

  13. Uly December 23, 2009 at 12:34 pm #

    Thanks for the correction, Jewel.

    And you’re correct – but that would be SOCIALISM, wouldn’t it???

  14. Bob Davis December 23, 2009 at 1:02 pm #

    Heavens to Weird Al Yankovic and Tom Lehrer! There are some situations that in real life are quite serious, but which inspire parody and humor, and you sure hit one of them. I haven’t seen much about Octomom lately–I guess the scandalmongers are too busy with Tiger Woods’ off-course (in more ways than one) behavior.

  15. Helen December 23, 2009 at 2:35 pm #

    The lyrics don’t actually mock Nadya Suleman’s choices (in fact they don’t mention the choices she made at all) – for the most part they highlight the reader’s own fear of having to deal with lots of children at once.

    I’m with Bob – Sad or tragic situations can still inspire humor. A bit tasteless in this case? Maybe. But I get bored when taste is the arbiter of acceptable culture.

  16. Mrs Embers December 23, 2009 at 8:15 pm #

    I don’t think anyone respects the doctor who implanted 6 embryos that turned into 8 babies, and I really hope nobody’s going “Hey, she wanted to spend her money there, he took it. Free enterprise, baby!” Wait… someone out there probably is…

    I thought it was funny. Like Helen said, the song isn’t about what she did to get that many kids. It could just as easily be about any massive family, except for the “litter” part- which is, unfortunately, funny because it accurately describes this situation.

    Now, if the song was, “O Crazy Dame, O Crazy Dame, Your choices are offensive”…

  17. Laura V. December 23, 2009 at 8:36 pm #

    i believe this is what’s known as comic relief.

  18. Michele December 24, 2009 at 3:01 am #

    Hilarious!! Thanks Lenore!

    Please do a comedy tour-you’d be a sellout:)

  19. Jacqui December 24, 2009 at 4:12 am #

    Hilarious! Thank you!

  20. erica December 26, 2009 at 11:38 am #

    That made me smile. Thanks and Merry Christmas.
    Then the following comments didn’t. Not because the parody was now unfunny, but because are people so tightly wound that they cannnot find humor in the ridiculousness of the media’s fascination with this mom?
    Of course it is not nice to make fun of people. It is very sad that she’s in such a predicament…but, hello…she put herself in this situation and began to capitalize on it.
    The Hanukkah song also has some choice lyrics (“So many jews are in show biz–
    Tom cruise isn¹t, but I heard his agent is.”) , but it is hilarious. …or is it?

  21. Uly December 27, 2009 at 6:07 am #

    I’m sorry, Erica. Where are the lines that indicate that the song is parodying media fascination rather than mocking another woman’s choice?

    Of course, it’s easy, when people have a complaint, to try to blow them off as “lacking a sense of humor”. In that way, you don’t have to stop and think about what they are saying and decide if their comments have merit. You can simply judge them and move on with your life.

  22. Christy December 27, 2009 at 2:46 pm #

    All that aside, ‘We Three Moms in the Parking Lot Are’ made me laugh till I almost cried.

  23. Helen December 27, 2009 at 11:23 pm #

    Uly – and which lines exactly mock Suleman’s choices?

  24. Uly December 28, 2009 at 1:00 am #

    Calling the woman “Octomom”, for one, can hardly be said to be supportive of her choices.

  25. Michelle December 28, 2009 at 10:59 pm #

    Ah, the elitism of mentally healthy, educated, and privileged white folks. It is time for me to unsubscribe to this site. Bye now.

  26. Kelly December 29, 2009 at 5:52 am #

    I have to agree with Michelle and others that I wouldn’t mock or make fun of “Octomom” for a myriad number or reasons.

    However, I do love this site very much and look forward to better content soon!

  27. Helen January 1, 2010 at 3:18 am #

    Uly – being unsupportive of her choices is not the same thing as mocking them. I’m not at all supportive of her choices – or those of the doctor she used. I don’t know anyone who is (whether they like this particular verse or not). But again, using the situation to highlight fears many of us hold in a humorous way is not the same as mocking her choices. Calling her Octomum is not mocking her choices but her situation, whether she choose it or not.

    If you were saying that the verse isn’t kind, and a person in Suleman’s situation should be supported by all media and no unkind words published – I could see that point of view, though I don’t agree with it. But I don’t see anything in the verse that mentions Suleman’s choices at all.