I’ve been following you for a few weeks now. Thank you for your blog! I hope more people find it from your article, and I hope it influences people.
The comments about the criticism people face when allowing their kids to do simple things really worries me. I haven’t faced much of that yet. My son is only 10 months old, but I’ve already been priming my overprotective mother for the freedoms I’ll be allowing him. I love dropping the statistics I find on your website casually into conversation. But, could you do me a favor? Can you post some numbers that sound more reasonable? She always thinks I’m making up things like 1 out of 400 million. She tells me to stop exaggerating. Ironic, no?
I love her, really. But, she once called the police when I was 17 because I was out 5 minutes past curfew with a bunch of honors students watching a movie-my watch had stopped sometime that night. I’d always been early before. Seriously, the police and my mom called and woke up the family at 12:08 am. We had been out at an event and I hadn’t called to tell her which house we’d ended up at so she’d freaked out several of my friends parents by calling around hysterically at midnight trying to find me. This was obviously (thankfully!) before the days of cell phones and GPS. Even the police were embarrassed.
I’m glad I have a resource to point to when she doesn’t believe me about how safe many things are. It’s hard for her since she’s an administrator in charge of keeping track of and helping out the homeless families in her district, among other things. As I’ve gotten a little distance from her, I’ve realized too how susceptible she is to other people’s opinions. I developed a thick skin (calloused hide?) growing up, so I have trouble sympathizing. Despite my understanding of why she feels that way and loving her, I still can’t imagine living withing 2 states of her (minimum).
I think there should be free-range parents too, thank you.
Moses Clark on
The world is becoming a terrifying place and child abduction is more common then ever before — now it’s not just psycho men that are doing this, but women are also abducting children. When women become serial killers and rapist the world is truly in trouble — when transgender women start to have babies and then call themselves Daddy/Mommy we are in the last days! That might be a good topic for discussion: How will this affect the child if Mommy is a man?
Oh’ I couldn’t find the Susan Boyle comment, maybe she was writing her column from Obama’s backyard lol. I miss your columns though and if you are ever to write again for a main source let me be the first to know!
Moses, your comment is both ignorant and offensive.
First, even a cursory examination of the facts shows that child abductions are, in fact, *less* common than ever before.
Second, that’s quite unrelated to transgenderism.
Third – seriously? Don’t make me smack you for your prejudiced attitudes. You raise your kids, and don’t worry about how other people raise theirs, mmkay?
Sarah on
Not entirely sure, but I took Moses’ comment as a(n attempted) joke.
If I’m wrong, maybe it’s a good way to approach comments like that anyway 😛
Rob C on
“The world is becoming a terrifying place and child abduction is more common then ever before.” No it’s not. You need to educate yourself.
About a lot of things, apparently.
Rob C on
And now for something completely serious –
ZOMG Lenore you put a picture of your child on the Internets and now he will be abducted and raped and killed and eaten maybe even in that order and it will be done over the Internet because there’s PERVERTS EVERYWHERE!!!!!11
*pant pant pant*
mexicanita on
I like to tell to Susan Boyle how she touched my soul, my life, my feelings, and how as content I am feeling to see her as strong, with that kind of confidence, how she made a face thinking how she beated them as a very well educated lady, and how she had the last laugh fulfilling (?) the dreams of millions and millions, and how she won over the world, and how Susan will still win the rest of her life!!
I had been watching the video many many many times and I will do the same ALWAYS!!! and I cryed fascinated with many mixed feelings every time…
No words exists to compensate the great gift than Susan Boyle made to the world. I hope that she will visit the Queen soon, and after that she will decide to do what se wanted, but I hope tremendously she will not change.
I LOVE how she is exactly like she is, with her simple and lovely life, and her Scotish sense of humor!!!
I love the Scotish landscapes, I love my friends, my relatives, the sweet and friendly people, the tea, the scones: the short bread, the tea time… the flowers, the birds, the ships, the ferns…
Now I love the person, the sense, the feelings, the confidence, the patience, the voice, the power of the very proud Scotish Lady Susan Boyle!
Today and the next ones I am feeling Scotish!!!
*sight*
Congratulations to the world, Congratuations to Scotland, Congratulations to Blackburn, Congratulations to West Lothian, Congratulations to her family, Congratulations to her mother and father, Congratulations to her friends and the people who has the fortune to know and share time with that special person who is SUSAN BOYLE!
Dear Susan thaks for the life experience and thank for the color of your voice!
If is posible could you print and give to her my message or sent to her by postal mail?
Wow, after reading Monica’s comment I think my blood glucose levels went off the scale. I feel slightly nauseous.
Great column, Lenore, makes good points. I too hope people will come here after reading it.
And to Moses’ comment about how a child will feel being raised by a transgendered parent or parents – it’s really all down to what you’re used to. How many times have you seen an adult say that they thought their upbringing was normal until they saw the way others were raised? I’ve said it myself. To make that relate to this blog – a child raised with restrictions and stifled all the time, they wouldn’t see that it was stifling until they encountered a Free Range child. – “What, your mum allows you to play out in the street? How weird!” Likewise, the Free Range child will consider being Free Range to be normal, and will probably be rather taken aback at the things the restricted child is forbidden to do.
Leaving aside the fact that there is nothing whatsoever wrong with a trans parent, the children actually won’t be bothered by it when they are young, because it will be what they are used to. The sad thing is that yes, it will very likely affect them in a negative way as they grow, but certainly not because of the parent being a bad parent. It will affect them due to other people being intolerant, unkind and cruel. And you are a part of that. I hope you’re proud of yourself.
How would you feel if your daughter were forced to remove her clothes in front of strangers, and then pull down her underwear and pull back her bra while they leer? It happens in America! It could happen to you!
Please read this article from today’s New York Times. Then let’s all figure out how we can keep our kids safe.
I think we should all be prepared for an influx of hysterical, angry parents visiting the blog thanks to her new article under the guise of ‘concern for their children’ when all they really want to do is try and shame Lenore, and us, for letting our kids be free to be kids. The parents who come here and leave angry comments may also be angry and ashamed of themselves for buying into the hype and don’t know how to change.
The best thing we can do is try to remember that and encourage newcomers to explore the site and become familiar with the Free Range philosophy. More importantly, staying respectful and remembering the people who come here truly DO care about their kids, will help us keep the sarcastic unhelpful comments to a minimum.
Jen on
Kenny, I followed the link in your signature and am curious to see the switch in your position between 2008 and now; Lenore herself commented on that great essay you have posted and you seemed to be on the same page. If you don’t mind sharing, what happened?
Rachel on
I love this website and the Free Range Kids philosophy. I will strive to raise my son (now 3 years old) as free range. I understand the statistics that show kids are significantly safer now than they were years ago, and that crimes against children are on the decline. However, I do have a question that never seems to be answered when these statistics are mentioned: Is it possible that the safety precautions that parents have taken have actually resulted in these declining statistics? I know that correlation does not equal causation, so it may be that there is no relationship between declining crime against children adn ‘helicopter’ parenting. And supposedly many of the crimes are committed by a family/friend/neighbor, so perhaps parents having that awareness has led to the decline. Just a thought.
All that said, I am completely on board with Free Range!
Jen on
Wow, my apologies for 3 posts in a row; now that I’ve read everything Kenny put up I see the point he’s making and it’s right in line with Free Range thinking. My bad and I’m sorry for the mix up.
Helen on
I was brought up to pretty much a free-range kid. My mum worries more about me now (at 24) than when i was a kid!! I was allowed to go out on my bike (on roads no less), I climbed trees, played in the local brook, fell out of a tree into the canal, I used to jump onto the back of the moving milk float for a free ride down the road…and guess what. Aside from riding my bike smack into the back of a great big black and yellow van one time (i had dust in my eye) I have never so much as broken a bone. I was never approached by anyone unless they thought i was lost, no one tried to grab me and make a run for it. (I did get one threat once from a guy down the road who said if our ball hit his car one more time we’ve had it)
Long story short…I went outside as a kid and I came back ALIVE!!!
Jen, I have to admit, I was a bit nervous when I made my post that people would react to the words I typed without actually trying the link, and therefore miss my point. Thank you for taking the time to follow through and follow up.
Moses Clark on
I apologize if I offended anyone…sometimes speaking from emotions could make even the smartest of us sound like animals.
18 Comments
I’ve been following you for a few weeks now. Thank you for your blog! I hope more people find it from your article, and I hope it influences people.
The comments about the criticism people face when allowing their kids to do simple things really worries me. I haven’t faced much of that yet. My son is only 10 months old, but I’ve already been priming my overprotective mother for the freedoms I’ll be allowing him. I love dropping the statistics I find on your website casually into conversation. But, could you do me a favor? Can you post some numbers that sound more reasonable? She always thinks I’m making up things like 1 out of 400 million. She tells me to stop exaggerating. Ironic, no?
I love her, really. But, she once called the police when I was 17 because I was out 5 minutes past curfew with a bunch of honors students watching a movie-my watch had stopped sometime that night. I’d always been early before. Seriously, the police and my mom called and woke up the family at 12:08 am. We had been out at an event and I hadn’t called to tell her which house we’d ended up at so she’d freaked out several of my friends parents by calling around hysterically at midnight trying to find me. This was obviously (thankfully!) before the days of cell phones and GPS. Even the police were embarrassed.
I’m glad I have a resource to point to when she doesn’t believe me about how safe many things are. It’s hard for her since she’s an administrator in charge of keeping track of and helping out the homeless families in her district, among other things. As I’ve gotten a little distance from her, I’ve realized too how susceptible she is to other people’s opinions. I developed a thick skin (calloused hide?) growing up, so I have trouble sympathizing. Despite my understanding of why she feels that way and loving her, I still can’t imagine living withing 2 states of her (minimum).
I think there should be free-range parents too, thank you.
The world is becoming a terrifying place and child abduction is more common then ever before — now it’s not just psycho men that are doing this, but women are also abducting children. When women become serial killers and rapist the world is truly in trouble — when transgender women start to have babies and then call themselves Daddy/Mommy we are in the last days! That might be a good topic for discussion: How will this affect the child if Mommy is a man?
Oh’ I couldn’t find the Susan Boyle comment, maybe she was writing her column from Obama’s backyard lol. I miss your columns though and if you are ever to write again for a main source let me be the first to know!
-Stay inspired L
Moses, your comment is both ignorant and offensive.
First, even a cursory examination of the facts shows that child abductions are, in fact, *less* common than ever before.
Second, that’s quite unrelated to transgenderism.
Third – seriously? Don’t make me smack you for your prejudiced attitudes. You raise your kids, and don’t worry about how other people raise theirs, mmkay?
Not entirely sure, but I took Moses’ comment as a(n attempted) joke.
If I’m wrong, maybe it’s a good way to approach comments like that anyway 😛
“The world is becoming a terrifying place and child abduction is more common then ever before.” No it’s not. You need to educate yourself.
About a lot of things, apparently.
And now for something completely serious –
ZOMG Lenore you put a picture of your child on the Internets and now he will be abducted and raped and killed and eaten maybe even in that order and it will be done over the Internet because there’s PERVERTS EVERYWHERE!!!!!11
*pant pant pant*
I like to tell to Susan Boyle how she touched my soul, my life, my feelings, and how as content I am feeling to see her as strong, with that kind of confidence, how she made a face thinking how she beated them as a very well educated lady, and how she had the last laugh fulfilling (?) the dreams of millions and millions, and how she won over the world, and how Susan will still win the rest of her life!!
I had been watching the video many many many times and I will do the same ALWAYS!!! and I cryed fascinated with many mixed feelings every time…
No words exists to compensate the great gift than Susan Boyle made to the world. I hope that she will visit the Queen soon, and after that she will decide to do what se wanted, but I hope tremendously she will not change.
I LOVE how she is exactly like she is, with her simple and lovely life, and her Scotish sense of humor!!!
I am writing from México (from an small town called Coatepec, in the state of Veracruz in the East coast). My mother in law is from Scotland, from Willow (?) near to Glasgow. I visited Glagow (arriving to the beautiful Train Station) the last time I went to Great Britain few years ago. Also I visted England some an other times before…
I love the Scotish landscapes, I love my friends, my relatives, the sweet and friendly people, the tea, the scones: the short bread, the tea time… the flowers, the birds, the ships, the ferns…
Now I love the person, the sense, the feelings, the confidence, the patience, the voice, the power of the very proud Scotish Lady Susan Boyle!
Today and the next ones I am feeling Scotish!!!
*sight*
Congratulations to the world, Congratuations to Scotland, Congratulations to Blackburn, Congratulations to West Lothian, Congratulations to her family, Congratulations to her mother and father, Congratulations to her friends and the people who has the fortune to know and share time with that special person who is SUSAN BOYLE!
Dear Susan thaks for the life experience and thank for the color of your voice!
If is posible could you print and give to her my message or sent to her by postal mail?
Thanks in advance,
Muchas Gracias!
Sincerely yours,
Mónica P. de Rico
México
happyfern@gmail.com
Wow, after reading Monica’s comment I think my blood glucose levels went off the scale. I feel slightly nauseous.
Great column, Lenore, makes good points. I too hope people will come here after reading it.
And to Moses’ comment about how a child will feel being raised by a transgendered parent or parents – it’s really all down to what you’re used to. How many times have you seen an adult say that they thought their upbringing was normal until they saw the way others were raised? I’ve said it myself. To make that relate to this blog – a child raised with restrictions and stifled all the time, they wouldn’t see that it was stifling until they encountered a Free Range child. – “What, your mum allows you to play out in the street? How weird!” Likewise, the Free Range child will consider being Free Range to be normal, and will probably be rather taken aback at the things the restricted child is forbidden to do.
Leaving aside the fact that there is nothing whatsoever wrong with a trans parent, the children actually won’t be bothered by it when they are young, because it will be what they are used to. The sad thing is that yes, it will very likely affect them in a negative way as they grow, but certainly not because of the parent being a bad parent. It will affect them due to other people being intolerant, unkind and cruel. And you are a part of that. I hope you’re proud of yourself.
How would you feel if your daughter were forced to remove her clothes in front of strangers, and then pull down her underwear and pull back her bra while they leer? It happens in America! It could happen to you!
Please read this article from today’s New York Times. Then let’s all figure out how we can keep our kids safe.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/20/opinion/20mon1.html
I think we should all be prepared for an influx of hysterical, angry parents visiting the blog thanks to her new article under the guise of ‘concern for their children’ when all they really want to do is try and shame Lenore, and us, for letting our kids be free to be kids. The parents who come here and leave angry comments may also be angry and ashamed of themselves for buying into the hype and don’t know how to change.
The best thing we can do is try to remember that and encourage newcomers to explore the site and become familiar with the Free Range philosophy. More importantly, staying respectful and remembering the people who come here truly DO care about their kids, will help us keep the sarcastic unhelpful comments to a minimum.
Kenny, I followed the link in your signature and am curious to see the switch in your position between 2008 and now; Lenore herself commented on that great essay you have posted and you seemed to be on the same page. If you don’t mind sharing, what happened?
I love this website and the Free Range Kids philosophy. I will strive to raise my son (now 3 years old) as free range. I understand the statistics that show kids are significantly safer now than they were years ago, and that crimes against children are on the decline. However, I do have a question that never seems to be answered when these statistics are mentioned: Is it possible that the safety precautions that parents have taken have actually resulted in these declining statistics? I know that correlation does not equal causation, so it may be that there is no relationship between declining crime against children adn ‘helicopter’ parenting. And supposedly many of the crimes are committed by a family/friend/neighbor, so perhaps parents having that awareness has led to the decline. Just a thought.
All that said, I am completely on board with Free Range!
Wow, my apologies for 3 posts in a row; now that I’ve read everything Kenny put up I see the point he’s making and it’s right in line with Free Range thinking. My bad and I’m sorry for the mix up.
I was brought up to pretty much a free-range kid. My mum worries more about me now (at 24) than when i was a kid!! I was allowed to go out on my bike (on roads no less), I climbed trees, played in the local brook, fell out of a tree into the canal, I used to jump onto the back of the moving milk float for a free ride down the road…and guess what. Aside from riding my bike smack into the back of a great big black and yellow van one time (i had dust in my eye) I have never so much as broken a bone. I was never approached by anyone unless they thought i was lost, no one tried to grab me and make a run for it. (I did get one threat once from a guy down the road who said if our ball hit his car one more time we’ve had it)
Long story short…I went outside as a kid and I came back ALIVE!!!
Jen, I have to admit, I was a bit nervous when I made my post that people would react to the words I typed without actually trying the link, and therefore miss my point. Thank you for taking the time to follow through and follow up.
I apologize if I offended anyone…sometimes speaking from emotions could make even the smartest of us sound like animals.
-Moses
That’s decent of you, Moses. Thank you.