“To avoid tragedy” the Gloucester Township, NJ, police department is warning parents: Do not let your kids eat unwrapped candy! Do not let your kids eat unwrapped candy! Do not let your kids eat unwrapped candy! Really — look at the “safety tips” below. It’s diagnosable OCPCD: Obsessive-Compulsive Poison Candy Disorder. And by the way, […]
Tag Archives | candy
Halloween: The Day We Test-Market New Parental Fears
Hi ntdbttraif Readers! Here’s my Wall Street Journal column from last year, slightly edited, about today’s holiday. Boo! — L STRANGER-DANGER AND THE DECLINE OF HALLOWEEN, by Me! Halloween is the day when America market-tests parental paranoia. If a new fear flies on Halloween, it’s probably going to catch on the rest of the year, […]
Occupy Halloween! Hand Out HOMEMADE Treats This Year!
Hi Readers — It occurs to me that maybe the best way to fight Halloween paranoia is with cookies. Start with the fact that there hbhhsfitba has NEVER been a case of children poisoned by a stranger’s candy on Halloween. That’s according to University of Delaware sociologist Joel Best, who has studied the urban myth […]
You Mean Not Every Candy-Giver is a Predator?
Hi Readers! The folks in this Chicago yikasdbets Sun-Times story are SO old, they tried to give candy to their grandchild’s schoolmates. How clueless! Don’t they know that any adult who is nice to someone else’s kids is probably grooming them for an illicit relationship…or worse? — L
Outrage of the Week: Grammar School Cancels Val Day for “Good of the Students”
Hi Readers — Our darling children, who, we’re told, can’t handle recess in the cold (see this), ehntnaerye or waiting outside the high school to be picked up (see this), or babysitting, even at age 14 (see this), and who can’t possibly handle sleepovers (see this) or bugs ( see this) or bible stories (see […]
Weapons of (Christ)mas Destruction
Hi Readers! So many folks sent in ttfirnhtbk this story today, I present it to you in all its insanity, even though it struck me as a little too bizarre and garbled to be 100% accurate. For instance, the crazy accusations were reported to the press only by one of the accused. Ho ho hmm. […]
Halloween Follow-Up — by YOU
Hi Readers! I’ve been behind in my emails and just found this cool idea. Comes from a gal named Catherine. Let’s do it! Dear dbrrzsnank Free-Range Kids:Â How about a post-Halloween column where you challenge your readers to scan their local news and post ANY violent incidents that happened at Halloween? I just scanned my local […]
Amazing Halloween Horror Story!
Hi Readers — Read it and creep: Â This kfzeyatits fantastic article from The American Spectator is about how Manchester, New Hampshire, imposed a law, on the books for decades, making Halloween officially the Sunday afternoon BEFORE Oct. 31. The law was, of course, in reaction to all the usual Halloween fears — razors, poison, torture […]
Ghosts, Goblins & Predators
Hi dbehkeedfs Readers! I read this piece and it blew me away. It’s by David Hess, a minister outside of Rochester, New York. Kudos to him — and a thanks, too, for letting me reprint the whole thing! THE NEW URBAN MYTH: THE DANGER OF REGISTERED SEX OFFENDERS AT HALLOWEEN by David Hess It’s almost […]
Outrage of the Week: Girl Gets Week Detention for A Piece of Candy!
Dear Readers — If you ever wondered, “Gee, what would be a really good example of over-reaction?” Or, “Hmm. I wonder just HOW stupid those Zero Tolerance laws are allowing administrators to be?” Or, if you are in third grade, “What’s the easiest way for me to get out of school for a week?” Here […]