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    Snark We Can Believe In: Los Feliz Daycare

    Just in case you haven’t seen  LosFelizDaycare on Twitter, here’s an introduction. Somehow it has its finger on the sticky pulse of whatever is pickiest, priciest, smuggest and nuttiest in the world of children and their precious adults. You sort of have to read a bunch of them to get the whole vibe which is — yes — exceedingly politically incorrect.

    Exceedingly.

    My favorite tweet of late:  “To address the recent gossip – we’ve heard the rumor that Zaire’s mommy had an epidural during her birth and we’re looking into it.”  Here’s a  taste, picked from the most recent material. (I really love #5.) – L.

    1. 11h11 hours ago

      If the Foo Fighters break up we assure u we’ll hav counselors & shamans standing by 24/7 for your toddler’s emotional & spiritual well-being

    2. 20h20 hours ago

      Please let us know if your toddler’s “Super Tuesday hangover” is metaphorical or from zher medical marijuana use. Helps with our lesson plan

    3. 21h21 hours ago

      Sending emotional progress reports this week! Remember, we cannot deliver to yurts.

        Mar 1

      Saying you have “a lot of feels” doesn’t adequately describe an emotional state/doesn’t count in the sharing circle.

    4. Mar 1

      ¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯ (35 weeks) is displaying passive aggressive behavior in her baby sign language, making excuses why zhe isn’t composting.

    5. Feb 29

      Lots of confusion about our Book Club. Your child needs to have WRITTEN a book to join, not READ one. Meeegan is a critic so that counts too

    6. Feb 28

      Just found out that someone brought supermarket avocados to our alternative Oscar drum circle. Taking a meditation opportunity…

    7. Feb 26

      Yes, “trigger” is also a trigger and now we can’t get out of this quagmire. Shoot, we shouldn’t reference Quagmire. Oh no, we said “shoot”

    8. Feb 26

      “Combat” is clearly a trigger. We apologize profusely.

    9. Feb 26

      Potty shaming and tinkle insensitivity is a growing concern, and we’d like to combat that with love and light.

    10. Feb 25

      Instead of photos in the LFDC yearbook, we encourage children to create an image that they feel expresses them. Bono (61 wks) drew a fedora.

    11. Feb 24

      Lyft is still not an appropriate pick up method. We’re an Uber community.

    12.   Feb 23

      Reminder to new parents: please do not dress your children in the color red. We feel that its energy is too violent for our community.

      1. Feb 17  Clutch (28 months) wrote down this list of her BFFs today: 1) Trader Joe. 2) soy crisps. 3) my service gerbil Maylee. 4) myself. 5) the wind
      2. Olive S. is performing a social experiment where she wont move out of the way of male toddlers walking toward her. So far everyone has cried

        .

        One more tweet: "Please stop the calls, emails, DMs, Snaps! OF COURSE we've instituted a catch and release program in dealing with the lice!"
        One more tweet: “Please stop the calls, emails, DMs, Snaps! OF COURSE we’ve instituted a catch and release program in dealing with the lice!”
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    22 Comments

    4. Bob Magee on

      I understand that LFDC will soon require that each Mommy leave a replica of their womb so each child has a safe space for napping.

    6. Cedric on

      This, and reading the Hogwarts IT guy and girl will keep me busy all day. Thanks Lenore!

    10. Vaughan Evans on

      I am a big FOE of political correctness.
      I live in Vancouver, B.C in Canada.
      I am making plans for Canada’s 150th anniversary(for 2017)
      -I might want to conduct a workshop(seminar)on how to teach the game ‘Run, Sheep, Run!
      (for information about its rules do a Google search
      -Before they can participate, they must sign a paper(a sort of waiver)-that they will NOT sue the Faciliator(or fellow participant)for lack of self-esteem-due to political correctness.

      “The very essence of the game involves improvising codes. (The words “Red and “Orange” are politically incorrect to the Irish who were oppressed by the British’ “Red” is politically incorrect to people who opposite communism

      A code is a code(a symbol to tell the hiding team to dash to a specific spot

      The codes that are improvised(and imparted and exclaims)are entirely the discretion of the hiders’ captain(and no one else.
      This rule is to prevent unscrupulous people from harassing the players about coees that are not “culturally sensitive.

    13. BL on

      @Vaughan Evans
      “I am a big FOE of political correctness.
      I live in Vancouver, B.C in Canada.
      I am making plans for Canada’s 150th anniversary(for 2017)”

      How about restoring the original lyrics to the song “Maple Leaf Forever”?

    14. BL on

      @Vaughan Evans
      “The words “Red and “Orange” are politically incorrect to the Irish who were oppressed by the British”

      So are “Black and Tan”.

    15. Papilio on

      HEY! Nothing wrong with orange.

      @Marie: And here I was thinking ‘Brie’ is a weird first name… (Her parents must really LOVE French cheese, I suppose)

    16. Jill on

      Thank you, and my precious children Lennon, Hummus and Orwell thank you. They are busy performing an interpretive dance about their spirit animals using hand-dyed scarves and wind instruments made by the Anabulutsu people of Outer Mundosa or I’d have them text you themselves.

    21. huny on

      i do not understand this.

      at all.

      i have no idea what any of this means or is supposed to mean. i know (almost) all of the words used in the creation of this article and the tweets, just not in the way they are used here.

      i found myself saying continually, “wait…what?!”