Snark We Can Believe In: Los Feliz Daycare


Just in case you haven’t seen LosFelizDaycare trfnirziar
on Twitter
, here’s an introduction. Somehow it has its finger on the sticky pulse of whatever is pickiest, priciest, smuggest and nuttiest in the world of children and their precious adults. You sort of have to read a bunch of them to get the whole vibe which is — yes — exceedingly politically incorrect.


My favorite tweet of late: “To address the recent gossip – we’ve heard the rumor that Zaire’s mommy had an epidural during her birth and we’re looking into it.” Here’s a taste, picked from the most recent material. (I really love #5.) – L.


  1. If the Foo Fighters break up we assure u we’ll hav counselors & shamans standing by 24/7 for your toddler’s emotional & spiritual well-being

  2. Please let us know if your toddler’s “Super Tuesday hangover” is metaphorical or from zher medical marijuana use. Helps with our lesson plan

  3. Sending emotional progress reports this week! Remember, we cannot deliver to yurts.

    Saying you have “a lot of feels” doesn’t adequately describe an emotional state/doesn’t count in the sharing circle.

  4. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (35 weeks) is displaying passive aggressive behavior in her baby sign language, making excuses why zhe isn’t composting.

  5. Lots of confusion about our Book Club. Your child needs to have WRITTEN a book to join, not READ one. Meeegan is a critic so that counts too

  6. Just found out that someone brought supermarket avocados to our alternative Oscar drum circle. Taking a meditation opportunity…

  7. Yes, “trigger” is also a trigger and now we can’t get out of this quagmire. Shoot, we shouldn’t reference Quagmire. Oh no, we said “shoot”

  8. “Combat” is clearly a trigger. We apologize profusely.

  9. Potty shaming and tinkle insensitivity is a growing concern, and we’d like to combat that with love and light.

  10. Instead of photos in the LFDC yearbook, we encourage children to create an image that they feel expresses them. Bono (61 wks) drew a fedora.

  11. Lyft is still not an appropriate pick up method. We’re an Uber community.

  12. Reminder to new parents: please do not dress your children in the color red. We feel that its energy is too violent for our community.

    1. Feb 17 Clutch (28 months) wrote down this list of her BFFs today: 1) Trader Joe. 2) soy crisps. 3) my service gerbil Maylee. 4) myself. 5) the wind

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22 Responses to Snark We Can Believe In: Los Feliz Daycare

  1. Art March 3, 2016 at 10:27 am #

    Effing Brilliant!

  2. Crystal Kupper March 3, 2016 at 10:56 am #

    Oh my goodness, I love these!

  3. Marie March 3, 2016 at 11:09 am #


  4. Bob Magee March 3, 2016 at 11:19 am #

    I understand that LFDC will soon require that each Mommy leave a replica of their womb so each child has a safe space for napping.

  5. Troutwaxer March 3, 2016 at 12:23 pm #

    Man, this almost makes me want to subscribe to twitter!

  6. Cedric March 3, 2016 at 12:24 pm #

    This, and reading the Hogwarts IT guy and girl will keep me busy all day. Thanks Lenore!

  7. Andrej Jankuv March 3, 2016 at 1:00 pm #


  8. Backroads March 3, 2016 at 1:19 pm #

    Funny! Love that sense of humor.

  9. Shawn D. March 3, 2016 at 1:23 pm #


  10. Vaughan Evans March 3, 2016 at 1:28 pm #

    I am a big FOE of political correctness.
    I live in Vancouver, B.C in Canada.
    I am making plans for Canada’s 150th anniversary(for 2017)
    -I might want to conduct a workshop(seminar)on how to teach the game ‘Run, Sheep, Run!
    (for information about its rules do a Google search
    -Before they can participate, they must sign a paper(a sort of waiver)-that they will NOT sue the Faciliator(or fellow participant)for lack of self-esteem-due to political correctness.

    “The very essence of the game involves improvising codes. (The words “Red and “Orange” are politically incorrect to the Irish who were oppressed by the British’ “Red” is politically incorrect to people who opposite communism

    A code is a code(a symbol to tell the hiding team to dash to a specific spot

    The codes that are improvised(and imparted and exclaims)are entirely the discretion of the hiders’ captain(and no one else.
    This rule is to prevent unscrupulous people from harassing the players about coees that are not “culturally sensitive.

  11. lollipoplover March 3, 2016 at 2:20 pm #

    “we’ve instituted a catch and release program in dealing with lice!”

    These are too good. Thanks for sharing the laugh as I don’t twitter.

    I came across this gem in our Philly paper today.
    I think Buddy may be my long-lost brother.

  12. Ada March 3, 2016 at 3:22 pm #

    Laughing out loud!

  13. BL March 3, 2016 at 3:41 pm #

    @Vaughan Evans
    “I am a big FOE of political correctness.
    I live in Vancouver, B.C in Canada.
    I am making plans for Canada’s 150th anniversary(for 2017)”

    How about restoring the original lyrics to the song “Maple Leaf Forever”?

  14. BL March 3, 2016 at 3:42 pm #

    @Vaughan Evans
    “The words “Red and “Orange” are politically incorrect to the Irish who were oppressed by the British”

    So are “Black and Tan”.

  15. Papilio March 3, 2016 at 4:13 pm #

    HEY! Nothing wrong with orange.

    @Marie: And here I was thinking ‘Brie’ is a weird first name… (Her parents must really LOVE French cheese, I suppose)

  16. Jill March 3, 2016 at 7:19 pm #

    Thank you, and my precious children Lennon, Hummus and Orwell thank you. They are busy performing an interpretive dance about their spirit animals using hand-dyed scarves and wind instruments made by the Anabulutsu people of Outer Mundosa or I’d have them text you themselves.

  17. Lisa March 4, 2016 at 12:30 am #

    So great! The ‘service gerbil’ had me howling.

  18. C. S. P. Schofield March 5, 2016 at 12:46 pm #

    I wish I didn’t expect some Progressive nitwit to take these as a lesson plan……

  19. huny March 9, 2016 at 8:39 am #

    i do not understand this.

    at all.

    i have no idea what any of this means or is supposed to mean. i know (almost) all of the words used in the creation of this article and the tweets, just not in the way they are used here.

    i found myself saying continually, “wait…what?!”

  20. huny March 9, 2016 at 8:41 am #

    and what in the world is a “service gerbil”?!