Close Menu
Free-Range Kids
    Free-Range KidsFree-Range Kids
    • Home
    • TV Show
    • Press
    • Have Lenore Speak
    • FAQ
    • FRK Project
    • Book
    • Crime Stats
    • Bill of Rights
    • Laws
    • Contact
    • Donate
    • Privacy
    Free-Range Kids

    Best 2-Line Police Report Ever?

    August 11, 2016
    Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
    Share
    Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Pinterest Email

    Gotta love this kid — and the pithy writer. This came from a friend’s Facebook page, filed under #yellowspringspolicereport:

    police report

    Share. Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email

    Related Posts

    School Warns of Talking Drone Flying Over Playground, Luring Children

    October 11, 2017

    Watch Out for Those Dangerous Marching Bands

    October 9, 2017

    Is There a Link Between a Lack of Play and Mass Shootings?

    October 8, 2017

    18 Comments

    1. ChicagoDad on August 11, 2016 7:28 pm

      “Now I’ve heard there was a secret chord
      That David played, and it pleased the Lord
      But you don’t really care for music, do you?
      It goes like this
      The fourth, the fifth
      The minor fall, the major lift
      The baffled king composing Hallelujah

      Hallelujah
      Hallelujah
      Hallelujah
      Hallelujah”
      -Leonard Cohen, 1984

    2. Sarah M on August 11, 2016 8:16 pm

      this made me laugh!! Too funny. I think the term “whippersnapper” sounds about right…

    3. theresa on August 11, 2016 8:17 pm

      About time the busybody got told off. Why can’t kids play by themselves without someone yelling help kid playing by themselves? At least they didn’t bother the cops over the idea of kid playing without mommy or daddy?.the cops are here for real issues not kids playing.

    4. J.T. Wenting on August 11, 2016 11:00 pm

      And next report: child taken away by CPS because the parents did not raise their child to properly respect his betters and worse, let him out of the house alone, which is clearly serious child neglect.

    5. Papilio on August 12, 2016 5:25 am

      Hahaha, serves him right :-E Who’s the dangerous stranger now, busibody?

    6. lollpoplover on August 12, 2016 7:37 am

      “leave me alone”
      *shouted with a raised fist* (hopefully)

      This should be the call of a generation of kids sick of being oppressed by people who refer to them as “little fellow”and are always concerned with their safety but not their freedom and basic right to play.
      #younglivesmatter

    7. Backroads on August 12, 2016 8:55 am

      Love it!

    8. Beth2 on August 12, 2016 10:29 am

      Oh, come on people! Which is it?

      Do you want the community to be more involved in keeping an eye on the little ones, instead of being so quick to call the authorities? It takes a village, judge not lest ye be judged…yada yada? Or do you want everybody to turn a blind eye to little kids they see on the street, so it all falls on law enforcement to “keep our kids safe.” ‘Cause my vote is definitely with the former.

      My take:
      1) It’s not weird that the person inquired if the kid was alright.
      2) What’s weird is that the person called the police about it.
      3) The kid was kind of rude. A simple “I’m fine thanks” would’ve sufficed. I don’t know why everybody’s fist-pumping that the “busybody” got “told off.” it’s certainly not behavior I would encourage in my child. it sounds like the response of a child who’s been taught to fear and distrust all adults…which I kind of thought was a mindset most of us don’t agree with.
      4) What’s wrong with “little fellow”? it’s kind of cute. If you all are really that eager for something to get angry about, go read your facebook feed.

    9. Beanie on August 12, 2016 10:49 am

      I would totally be fine if someone who would use the term “little fellow” asked my kid if he was all right. Not much info to go on, but I am totally picturing a 3 or 4 year old running around in a grumpy or mischievous mood, maybe on the lam from his mom. The setting: a small town, not a big ol’ suburb like I live in. The officer that goes to check it out is along the lines of someone from Mayberry and gets a good chuckle out of it.

      Thanks for the imagery!

    10. BL on August 12, 2016 11:09 am

      @Beth2
      “Do you want the community to be more involved in keeping an eye on the little ones, instead of being so quick to call the authorities? It takes a village, judge not lest ye be judged…yada yada? Or do you want everybody to turn a blind eye to little kids they see on the street”

      Get involved if there’s a reason. If the kid is crying, ask why. If the kid is bleeding, help is probably appropriate.

      But just running around? No reason to ask “if he was alright”. No reason to believe otherwise.

    11. Jesse Bacon on August 12, 2016 12:11 pm

      Ha I bet this is my old college town, Antioch Colllege.

    12. MichaelF on August 12, 2016 12:22 pm

      @Beth2
      “Do you want the community to be more involved in keeping an eye on the little ones, instead of being so quick to call the authorities? It takes a village, judge not lest ye be judged…yada yada? Or do you want everybody to turn a blind eye to little kids they see on the street”

      Involved does not mean calling the cops after the kid tells you to let him play. If he was running around he is fine, no need to get involved, unless there is an incident.

      In my day the village used to keep an eye on the kids, only talking to them when necessary, or someone was hurt.

    13. Mel on August 12, 2016 12:39 pm

      I could go either way on this one. I’m familiar with the village in question and there are plenty of rude little (and not so little) brats running around. I think the kid could’ve been more polite while still retaining freedom. Too many parents are letting their precious little darlings run around and act like wild animals and expect the rest of us to put up with them or smile at how cute they are. Makes me want to scream. At the parents. And the kids.

    14. Jason on August 12, 2016 12:45 pm

      @Beth2 – Thank You! All excellent points.

    15. Papilio on August 12, 2016 1:28 pm

      @Beth2: All we have is what the caller told the police about the encounter. Maybe the child’s initial reply was perfectly polite but the caller still wouldn’t leave it at that (after all they did call the police!).

    16. sexhysteria on August 13, 2016 3:17 am

      That’s one dangerous kid – call the SWAT team!

    17. SKL on August 13, 2016 5:04 pm

      Sounds like the kid was taught “stranger danger.”

    18. Jill on August 16, 2016 3:33 pm

      “Piss off, jerk face” is rude. Leave me alone” is not in this situation, in my opinion. Unless the child is bleeding, screaming for help, running in front of cars or racing, lemming-like toward a cliff, leave him alone. He’s just playing, the way kids are supposed to.

    Sign up for Our Mailing List
    * = required field
    Free-Range Kids
    Fighting the belief that our children are in constant danger from creeps, kidnapping, germs, grades, flashers, frustration, failure, baby snatchers, bugs, bullies, men, sleepovers and/or the perils of a non-organic grape.
    Join us!
    Follow me on Twitter
    Follow me on Facebook
    Free membership card for kids: "I'm not lost! I'm a Free-Range Kid!"
    Visit Let Grow, the nonprofit promoting childhood independence
    Links
    Pro or Con?
    Why Free-Range?
    Free-Range Archives
    • 2025
    • 2024
    • 2023
    • 2022
    • 2021
    • 2020
    • 2019
    • 2018
    • 2017
    • 2016
    • 2015
    • 2014
    • 2013
    • 2012
    • 2011
    • 2010
    • 2009
    • 2008
    Copyright © 2008-2025 Free-Range Kids. All rights reserved.

    Web design by GenuineClass

    Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.

    Add Free-Range Kids to your Homescreen!

    Add