Hi Readers — Here’s a great comment that came in response to the blog post, Driven Crazy by Pregnancy Perfectionists. It reminds us of a truth we’ve been encouraged to forget in our “blame the parents” society: We are not in total control, ever. Not of what happens to us, and certainly not of what happens to our children. Â A reader writes:
Sorry, there are no guarantees in life. Â I followed the rules for the most part, though not to any extreme — probably didn’t eat enough vegetables or get enough exercise (still don’t). But I did have every prenatal test to make sure everything was fine. Â It all came out normal. Â I felt fine, the pregnancy progressed fine, the birth came early but was otherwise fine –and then my daughter was born with a birth defect. Â One that would have killed her in an earlier age; fortunately we’re not in an earlier age, and they fixed it and she is TOTALLY fine now.
And for a while I blamed myself — what did I do?? Â Was it that glass of wine I had before I knew I was pregnant? Was it one too many baby back ribs from Chili’s? Â Was it my shocking avoidance of pregnancy yoga?!? Â Then I realized — it was nothing. Â It was a misfire during the building process. Â A dropped stitch. Â No process is foolproof or perfect. Â This was a universal truth we all understood a few generations ago. Â But we’ve become so accustomed to the illusion of control that modern life gives us that we’ve become responsible for EVERYTHING that happens to us, and that’s just ridiculous. Â Little of what’s going on in there is in your hands. Â So you may as well relax.Â — Dahlia