“Dogs Must Be Clothed” And Other Park Rules August 24, 2016 . I can abide by most of these rules…except the alpaca thing. no human sacrifices, park rules, playground rules
Please tell me this sign is a joke. Catholic dogs? No hunting men. Well duh that called murder. Though. Can you show me the skateboarding coyotes, that sounds cool!
Love it. Most folks never bother to read signs. We had a sign in our park prohibiting dogs. When I pointed out the sign to someone, they said ‘what sign?’. Eventually someone tore the sign off the wall.
I really want this to be a real sign. Somebody please tell me it’s real!
Theresa, yes, it’s obviously a joke. I just want to believe that somewhere out there, there’s a park awesome enough to post this sign!
Nice, very well done. Should have dropped one of the parenthetical statements, 3 is too many.
The City Council announces the opening of a new Dog Park at the corner of Earl and Somerset, near the Ralphâ€™s. They would like to remind everyone that dogs are not allowed in the Dog Park. People are not allowed in the Dog Park. It is possible you will see Hooded Figures in the Dog Park. Do not approach them. Do not approach the Dog Park. The fence is electrified and highly dangerous. Try not to look at the Dog Park, and especially do not look for any period of time at the Hooded Figures. The Dog Park will not harm you.
I really want to make a copy of this sign and put in up in my city’s park.
Must . . . resist . . . temptation.
So, you can’t have an impromptu group dance-off, but if you plan to have one, that’s okay? What if it appears to be impromptu, but was actually choreographed weeks or months in advance? It happens all the time in musical theatre.
Yup, its from Obvious Plant. The original picture has his logo on it. Read more about Jeff at https://www.fastcocreate.com/3044923/meet-the-rascal-whos-planting-phony-signs-and-products-in-public-and-making-our-daily-lives- and check out all of his work at http://obviousplant.tumblr.com
“I really want this to be a real sign. Somebody please tell me itâ€™s real!”
Sadly, no, but I used to live near a sign almost as cool. It was in the middle of town on a piece of private property that had somehow remained agricultural: four cows were pastured there, and there was a sign welcoming neighborhood children to play there. The only prohibitions it listed were against teasing cows or burning tire in a fire (implying that otherwise, campfires were fine). Alas, I never actually saw any kids playing there.
It’s true, people don’t read signs because that would take up the whole park outing.
The one at our favorite park says no bikes. Guess where my kids (and many others) learned to ride a bike.
It also says no dogs, which is often ignored as well.
I don’t remember what else it says. I probably quit reading.
There’s a real sign at a local park that gives humans rules for dogs–leash them, clean up after them, etc. Then it has a part for dogs–Bark, woof, etc. Makes me laugh every time.
@Lianne We love Night Vale around these parts.
Tough to pick a favorite, but I think mine is:
ABSOLUTELY NO HUMAN SACRIFICES before 8 p.m.
I belonged to a fitness center that had designated Family Time where children were permitted to use the pool and basketball court areas. Posted rules included ‘Children must remain within arm’s length of parent/gardian at all times.’ This made playing catch with the supplied footballs and other such equipment difficult. Of course the rules were ignored, as were most of the others.
Thanks for posting the source, Richard. Great stuff!
I have to wait until 8pm to perform a human sacrifice? But my victim is ready NOW!
That is pretty much the best park ever. Yes, I will suck it up and obey the alpaca rule.
That is so awesome! Snap Judgement had a wonderful episode about a guy who started a society to clothe all animals: “a naked animal is indecent” kind of thing. He ran it for a long time without most people realizing it was a joke.
Do not taunt the Happy Fun Ball.
HAHAHA, okay that is hilarious. When I saw ‘Dogs must be clothed’ I was still frowning, annoyed about the next stupid nonsense, but then it got funnier and funnier! 🙂
@Lenore: “I can abide by most of these rulesâ€¦” But what if your fellow witches decide to sacrifice you at 19.59? Though in that case I guess you’d have bigger problems 😀
Muslims here use ‘christenhond’ (christian dog) as an insult for non-muslims. Is that an American thing, too, because it makes the ‘Dogs must be Catholic’ rule a lot funnier?
For a minute i thought it could be real. The way people come up with stupid rules.
“ABSOLUTELY NO HUMAN SACRIFICES before 8 p.m.”
…however, between 8 p.m. and midnight…
“Muslims here use â€˜christenhondâ€™ (christian dog) as an insult for non-muslims. Is that an American thing, too?”
Nope, or at least not audibly in public! It wouldn’t go over very well at all. In fact, I can’t imagine it. Nor do we have neighborhoods where women have to veil to avoid harassment. Hearing that it’s become normal for you to hear something like that really brings home the knife-edge you’re living on these days.
I was in this park a while ago. I didn’t have an alpaca, but I did have my llama. And wow — what a ruckus. The park security guard thought my llama was an alpaca and there was heck to pay. When will the government stop with all the crazy rules.
Female dogs should be required to wear chastity belts.
Kenny Felder wrote August 25, 2016 at 1:53 pm:
Sounds like comedian Alan Abel’s Society for Indecency to Naked Animals, which he ran from 1959 to 1963 before it was “exposed” in Time magazine.
Definitely Obvious Plant. One of my favorite people on earth and constantly being ripped off by folks who take his work and cut off his logo to try to make them seem real. I’d suggest everyone follow him on Facebook for a good laugh.
@Beth and BPFH: It’s that contrast, isn’t it? 🙂 The STRICTLY VERBOTEN extreme thing (murder!) which then turns out not to be prohibited at all, there’s only this very reasonable time limit 🙂
@Anna: I looked it up, and it’s a loan translation from Turkish, *originally* indeed used by muslims for non-muslims. Some time in the ’90s non-muslim columnists borrowed it to provoke our local Bible belt population, a writer used it in a column for another (christian) writer, and that’s presumably how a broad public got to know the word. So I’m afraid my describing it as ‘used by muslims’ may have misrepresented it a bit (sorry!).
In the context of actual dogs it’s just comical. There actually was some comical TV show years ago that showed a video of a woman who had taught her dogs to “pray” before they got their food (basically the dog version of putting your hands together…). Reporter to woman: “So they’re christenhonds?” I don’t remember her reaction, but we certainly laughed.
That sign reminds me of a test that I took in college. The first line of the test said “Read this test all of the way through before answering any of the questions.” The last line of the test said “Do NOT answer any questions. Write your name and class time on top of the test and place it in the basket on my desk.”
Only three of us passed the test.