the article everyone’s talking about, folks: “The Overprotected Kid,” by Hanna Rosin in The Atlantic. She chronicles all the things we talk about: The lack of free time kids have, the excess supervision, the need for adventure — the whole shebang, including interviews with many of the folks you’ve read about here: Peter Gray, David Finkelhor, Tim Gill… So — enjoy! (Or whatever the word is for reading something you agree with that makes you sad and mad.) — L
…I used to puzzle over a particular statistic that routinely comes up in articles about time use: even though women work vastly more hours now than they did in the 1970s, mothersâ€”and fathersâ€”of all income levels spend much more time with their children than they used to. This seemed impossible to me until recently, when I began to think about my own life. My mother didnâ€™t work all that much when I was younger, but she didnâ€™t spend vast amounts of time with me, either. She didnâ€™t arrange my playdates or drive me to swimming lessons or introduce me to cool music she liked. On weekdays after school she just expected me to show up for dinner; on weekends I barely saw her at all. I, on the other hand, might easily spend every waking Saturday hour with one if not all three of my children, taking one to a soccer game, the second to a theater program, the third to a friendâ€™s house, or just hanging out with them at home. When my daughter was about 10, my husband suddenly realized that in her whole life, she had probably not spent more than 10 minutes unsupervised by an adult. Not 10Â minutes in 10 years.
Itâ€™s hard to absorb how much childhood norms have shifted in just one generation. Actions that would have been considered paranoid in the â€™70sâ€”walking third-graders to school, forbidding your kid to play ball in the street, going down the slide with your child in your lapâ€”are now routine. In fact, they are the markers of good, responsible parenting. One very thorough study of â€œchildrenâ€™s independent mobility,â€ conducted in urban, suburban, and rural neighborhoods in the U.K., shows that in 1971, 80Â percent of third-graders walked to school alone. By 1990, that measure had dropped to 9Â percent, and now itâ€™s even lower. When you ask parents why they are more protective than their parents were, they might answer that the world is more dangerous than it was when they were growing up. But this isnâ€™t true, or at least not in the way that we think. For example, parents now routinely tell their children never to talk to strangers, even though all available evidence suggests that children have about the same (very slim) chance of being abducted by a stranger as they did a generation ago. Maybe the real question is, how did these fears come to have such a hold over us? And what have our children lostâ€”and gainedâ€”as weâ€™ve succumbed to them?