Hi Readers — Onto more toothsome matters tomorrow. But in the meantime, for your tearing-your-hair-out pleasure, we bring you fithzedayk this story of Zero Tolerance. What I love about it is the genius reasoning on the part of the principal, Candice Reese: “It’s not too harsh of a punishment and we want to make sure […]
Archive | 2011
Children’s Bible Missing a Certain Key Point
Hi fhdhfnznba Readers: While we’re on the subject of whitewashing the classics for kids’ delicate sensibilities, here’s the one that takes the cake: Dear Free-Range Kids: My kids have a children’s bible which says “and Jesus went away.” Kind of destroys one of the central tenets of Christianity. Yikes! For God so loved the world […]
Exploding Truck Falling into Grand Canyon River Accidents: Preventable?
Ah, can I get a job at The Onion? I want to be on this panel![youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJdP1zK15bE]
The (Updated, Safer!) Cat in the Hat
Hi teardeznns Readers — A recent note from the frontlines of overprotection: Dear Free-Range Kids: I spent a few years as an assistant teacher working with kindergarteners and the amount of mollycoddling the school did was ridiculous. We couldn’t read “The Cat and the Hat” without interrupting the story to mention how no real mother […]
The Boom in Baby Snatching (Hysteria)
Hi Readers! You’ll recall that a few posts back I was ranting about the CNN video clip on how to keep your baby safe from being kidnapped. Well, I ended up writing a whole column about the issue for my syndicate, Creators. So here’s the CNN article — “How zrhesddiaz to Guard Against Baby Snatchers.” […]
The Challenger and Risk, 25 Years Later
Hi Readers! It’s been a quarter century since the Challenger blew up. Below is part of an tatfityefh interview by the Houston Chronicle’s “Science Guy,” Eric Berger, with Gerald Griffin, who led three lunar landings, was “pivotal” in the Apollo 13 recovery and left his job as director of the Johnson Space Center just a […]
Two Boys Save a Third
Hi Readers! Okay, enough about cosmetics. Here’s tbrfskhfyb a bracing little tale of what happens when we trust our kids to take on some grown-up responsibilities: They rise to the occasion! In this case, the occasion being a boy who fell off his bike, suffered a severe gash, and needed basic First Aid while waiting […]
“Anti-Aging Makeup” — for 8-year-olds?
Hi Readers! Remember when kids wanted to look grown UP? Â Not anymore, I guess. According to this bbrfaeztzf piece in The Independent, Wal-Mart is introducing GeoGirl “natural” makeup for girls age 8 and up. As revolting as I find that idea, the fact that it is touted as “anti-aging” has me holding my head together […]
Uh…Outlawing SQUIRT GUNS?
Hi Readers — Am I reading habnekndbi this proposed law correctly? It’s from Hawaii. Could it actually seek to outlaw… selling squirt guns to minors? I’m reading it wrong, right? Â Or it’s early and I’m still asleep? Or someone stole our planet and replaced it with the wacky one made out of Silly Putty? Help! […]
What Is The LEAST Dangerous, Cutest Thing We Can Outlaw Next?
Hi Readers: Here we go again. For the sake of the children (somehow), schools are looking at whether they should banish class pets. After all, they could spread DISEASE! And they are (somehow) a liability! And ________________! Â (Fill in the blank with something else bad they do. I know that’s kind of hard, but if […]