Let’s predict it right here, right now: By 2030, every state in America will guarantee parents that they can give their kids some “reasonable independence” without triggering an investigation for neglect. Of course it takes time to crest to that point. But this year, the Colorado, Nebraska and South Carolina legislatures are all considering bills modeled on the “Reasonable Childhood Independence” laws passed in Texas and Oklahoma last spring (and in Utah in 2018—the so-called “Free-Range Parenting” law). At this point, fully 10% of American parents enjoy legal protection for letting their children play unsupervised. The bills passed to date…
Author: lskenazy
Join me, Lenore, as I host a webinar chat featuring Jonathan “Coddling of the American Mind” Haidt interviewing psychiatrist Samantha Boardman. She’s author of the new book (that literally tweaked my life), “Everyday Vitality.” They’ll be chatting about how parenting became so fraught, and how we can all fight a culture insisting parents watch and micromanage everything their kids do, lest they fall behind or get hurt. One title we considered for the talk was “Gaze not at your navel!” But the one we (wisely) decided on was, “Parenting Doesn’t have to Drive Your — or Your Kids — Crazy:…
Daniel Kish is known as “Batman” because he uses clicking sounds to echo-locate the way bats do. He goes around the world teaching blind kids this cool technique, but so much more, all to help them become more self-directed. He doesn’t say “self-sufficient” because, in a way, that’s not really fair. If you’re deaf, having a sign language interpreter doesn’t mean you are lazy or over-assisted. It just means you have a way to be part of things. Similarly, blind kids need someone to “show” them what they cannot see. For instance, a blind child can’t see you making scrambled…
Those are the chipper words of a press release I got for some diaper-changing thingamabob. Those are also the words today’s parents are expected to live by: Words that paint the most mundane of activities as a disaster of epic proportions (possibly — unless you do or buy something RIGHT THIS SECOND!). As you probably know, I call this “Worst-First Thinking” — thinking up the WORST case scenario FIRST and living life as if it’s about to happen. Over at Let Grow I roll this around a bit, and dig up some other warnings that are actually out there, telling…
To start off the New Year right, here’s a happy, simple tale of a mom, a spunky 6-year-old, and a life — two lives! — enhanced by the power of trust. In this case, that involved trusting a girl to do something on her own for the first time — a challenge I’d urge us all to do many times this year: Try something new and brave! Send me stories (Lenore@LetGrow.org) and Happy New Year! — L.
FIRST, A PLEA: IF YOU LOVED YOUR OWN “FREE-RANGE” CHILDHOOD AND WANT THAT FREEDOM GIVEN TO THE NEXT GENERATION, PLEASE DONATE TO LET GROW BY CLICKING HERE! And now: Head over to Let Grow to read the whole list of parenting moments — good and awful. But let me just state my favorite one here, as it seems to encompass everything that is crazy in our culture: A Beaverton, Oregon, man screamed at a lady for leaving her kid in the car while she ran into the grocery for two items. She was not only irresponsible, she was hurting others…
As you will read over at Let Grow today, kids who are “just playing” are learning a ton. They even learn a lot from the part that drives you crazy — the bickering and the “That’s not fair!”s. Learning to be jerks? No — they’re learning to get along, believe it or not. This involves wheedling, conniving, compromising, asserting oneself, accepting defeat — all the things you probably had to do at work yesterday. (And possibly again the second you got home.) There is no substitute for the lessons kids get in play. But since there is also no substitute…
Growing up I always made my parents presents for the holidays — great things like egg carton candy dishes, and egg carton jewelry boxes, and sometimes even things NOT made out of egg cartons. Like mugs made from half-and-half cartons. No, really — I was better than that. Wish I’d saved some of these masterpieces. (Why didn’t my parents???) There were the coasters made of hardened glue. Statues sculpted from wetted, squished tissue paper. A mini baseball game in a box. A book holder made from a hanger. (That actually works, and you don’t need the pliers.) Giant balls made…
“Daddy, help.” Those were the words Rebecca Gomez’s toddler kept repeating when he couldn’t get the battery into his Buzz Lightyear. But daddy was distracted helping his other two kids — and this turned out to be a small blessing. Read the tiny, happy story over at Let Grow by clicking here!
I realize that headline wouldn’t have made sense in any generation till now. Of COURSE 9-year-olds roamed, and of COURSE they didn’t have phones. The fact that this is, indeed, Free-Range headline material shows just how normalized constant adult supervision — in person and via electronics — has become. So read this Alaska mom’s essay at Let Grow for a dose of what was once called “normal childhood” or “normal confidence” or just plain normal life, and enjoy the fact it is not out of reach, even in these anxious and overprotective times. The essayist is Nancy Fresco, author of…