Hi Readers — Am I reading this proposed law correctly? It’s from Hawaii. Could it actually seek to outlaw… selling squirt guns to minors? I’m reading it wrong, right? Or it’s early and I’m still asleep? Or someone stole our planet and replaced it with the wacky one made out of Silly Putty? Help! — L.
Author: lskenazy
Hi Readers: Here we go again. For the sake of the children (somehow), schools are looking at whether they should banish class pets. After all, they could spread DISEASE! And they are (somehow) a liability! And ________________! (Fill in the blank with something else bad they do. I know that’s kind of hard, but if you’re a pencil-pushing killjoy, keep trying. You can do it.) According to The Herald, in Everett, Washington: …school districts have begun adopting policies that in many cases limit or even ban animals in the classroom unless they’re part of science projects. Animals may be cute…
Hey Readers — Just got this sociologically stimulating note and wanted to post it for us to chew on. So chew! Dear Free-Range Kids: The rise and fall of the “Baby on Board” signs is a fascinating case study for our topic of Free-Ranging. The signs became popular as a plea for caution from other drivers. They fell when paranoid rumors regarding kidnapping spread. I am not sad the silly signs are gone but think about the cultural ramifications. Thinking shifted from, “If the other drivers just knew there was a child in this car, they would exercise caution…
Hi Readers! I loved this letter from a guy named Brad. You may, too. — L. Dear Free-Range Kids: I happened to rabbit-hole into your blog tonight, and read it for about 2 hours, fascinated by the psychotic parents out there. I’m 27 and was raised Free-Range. I was allowed to run amok, largely unattended, for extended periods of time. I got into all sorts of trouble and suffered many life-threatening injuries such as skinned knees, bruises of various sizes, bloody noses, and twisted ankles. One time I was attacked by a clearly homicidal rose bush. And I even broke…
Hi Readers! Here’s the sign a nature center director is about to take down from the local preserve where, for the record, there are no cliffs, no plunging ravines, no standing water, no wild animals beyond the usual squirrel-type thing, no snakes, and no evil trees. There IS some poison ivy. Anyway, as he put it, “It is really a welcoming sign, isn’t it?”
Hi Readers! Feeling a little sane and optimistic today? Shame on you! It is your DUTY, as an AMERICAN to live in a state of CONSTANT FEAR for your children starting the minute they pop out! To that end, here CNN explains how to avoid the scourge of baby snatchings. Well, maybe scourge is not exactly the right word. Eventually the network admits that baby snatchings happened all of once last year, and three times the year before (in a country where about 4 million children are born annually). But, hey! That’s no reason to EVER let down your guard.…
Hi Readers! Thanks to one of you recommending this film — “Indictment: The McMartin Trial” — my husband and I just watched it today (a mere decade and a half after it came out, on HBO). Now all I can say is: Put it at the top of your Netflix cue. As Wikipedia puts it so pithily: A defense lawyer (played by James Woods) defends an average American family from shocking allegations of child abuse and Satanic rituals. After six years and $16 million, the trial ends with the dismissal of all charges. Along the way, we watch pedophile panic…
Hi Readers — Just had to share the story I heard yesterday when I went to get some blood drawn. (I’m fine.) The phlebotomist and I started chatting and somehow she ended up telling me that three weeks ago her 6-year-old son badly burned himself when he accidentally spilled a bowl of soup into his lap. His dad rushed him to the hospital — they got there at 10 at night. And there they waited for three hours, the boy crying and crying. “My husband is not very loud,” explained the phlebotomist, meaning, her husband is not very assertive. So…
Hi Readers — I got this question yesterday and it is one that comes up from time to time. I’ll give you my answer, but the author would like to have yours, too. Here goes: . Dear Free-Range Kids: I have a question for you. Or a scenario. Every morning — ok most mornings — I get up at 5:30 and go to a boot camp in a park one city block from my house for one hour. My husband and the kids (almost 7 and 9) sleep through this 99.9% of the time. But right now my husband is…
Hi Readers — Just got this letter from a new mom in a town that prides itself on health, humanity, even hippie-ness…up to a point, I guess. Her name is Esmeralda, she’s an artist, and I don’t think what she is going through is unique: Dear Free-Range Kids: I thought of you recently when I took my baby Wesley to the doc. There were some hyperfear tactics that they were already trying to push on me. It was startling! I felt like I was being subjected the equivalent of subliminal advertising. My husband, Hunter, is a light smoker, and does…