Lives idttikstdf
there a parent who hasn’t, at some point, lost track of his or her kid? That’s just the way life is — imperfect!Â
Until the authorities deem it a crime.
In this case, CPS gets it TOTALLY RIGHT…but not the prosecutor. So don’t read this letter if you were hoping to have a good day. Do read it if you think you have any idea how to help or crusade for change. Speaking of which, the National Association of Parents is trying to create a fund to help parents dealing with crazy CPS issues. Here’s the link. – L (who has, at the letter writer’s request, changed the names of the kids)
Dear Free-Range Kids: I am heartbroken and desperate over my son’s long struggle with his false child abuse charges.
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It all started in December, 2013. It was an unseasonably warm day, and my son, his wife, and kids were having a family day. They had been cooking, and the apartment became very hot. My son had taken all sorts of precautions to protect his precocious 18 month old Annie, such as putting safety latches on cabinets, doorknob covers on doorknobs, and a high security latch on the main apartment door. Because of the heat, he had a window cracked open to cool the place down.
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My son has four other children, who were 9, 7, and 3.5 at the time. The 3.5 year old boy was napping, and woke up screaming, in an inconsolable fit. My son and his wife were very preoccupied with calming him down, figuring he had a bad dream. Once they got him settled, they became aware that Annie was not in the room. They looked in the usual hiding places, for she was often apt to strike off on her own, or follow her brothers to play, etc. They could not find her anywhere.
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They expanded their frantic search to outside the apartment, knocking on neighbors’ doors, searching the playground, etc. After 15 minutes of frantic searching, my son called the police and reported her missing. After he hung up, they called him back and told him to come pick her up. TOTAL STRANGERS from out of town had found her on Main Street, but that was, in reality, only THIRTY YARDS from the apartment door, so it would take he no time to get there. She had been very happy and giggling about her apparent adventure.
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When he arrived at the police station, he was charged with child abuse. He was totally confused by this, for he had never been abusive. His nine year old son had to answer questions about the siblings’ ages, etc because Frank was totally numb and could not think straight.  (The police said if his wife had shown up instead, SHE would have been the one charged. That is how arbitrary this was!)  Thus began his long nightmare.
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The DA tried to force him to plead guilty. That would have meant a permanent abuse charge and prison time. He can afford neither because he is a professional photographer who shoots weddings, graduations, and many children’s events. The CPS came to the apartment, did their review, and found Frank and his wife to be beyond suspicion of abuse. In fact, they noted he had taken every precaution possible. The DA refused to even consider their findings.
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I advised my son to insist upon an attorney being appointed for him, and to insist on a jury trial. No jury in its right mind would put a hardworking father in prison for having a precocious toddler bent on adventure. He followed my advice, but nine days before the trial date, the DA finally relented and offered a reduced charge of “reckless endangerment.” I would never have agreed to such a thing myself, but Frank was feeling guilty for not watching Annie like a hawk every second, so he relented, per his appointed attorney’s advice.
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The probation was to be six months, and he was to attend an online parenting class. If there were no more “incidents,” his record would be clean after six months. He thought this was a good deal, but I was on the edge of my seat for the last five months, counting the days.
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Sunday he called me and told me that there was a warrant out for his arrest, and that the deal was off, he was back to the full “child abuse” charge with NO OPTION FOR A JURY TRIAL! He was told he would go directly to sentencing, and the child abuse record would now be permanent. His “crime” was to not show for a court appointment he never even knew was scheduled! He received no notification, had gotten no notice from his appointed attorney, had no clue whatsoever of being in violation of probation. He had attended the class, and was awaiting certification to show at the end of his probation in April.
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I am so angry with the system. My grandchildren are at risk of being lost. My daughter-in-law has been totally devastated by this ordeal, and if he is found guilty, no doubt the state would take them because they have destroyed both parents.
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My son is devastated, but is also determined to sue if he survives this. As for me, it is hard for me to watch from my home several states away. Maybe it is good I am not there, because I am fighting mad myself, and I certainly would not be a calming force. Please help…somehow…before I lose my grandkids, and a good man his livelihood and his good reputation. They might already damaged his business beyond repair.
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Lenore here: I am sharing this story not to scare parents, but only because I believe that as we grow aware of how corrupt or crazed authorities can ruin a family, our voices will crescendo, demanding change. This is our creed: Parents do not have to be perfect. The government cannot demand it. The state should only intervene when children are in obvious and indisputable danger.  If you’d like to contact this writer of this letter, her email is: canyonhomestead@gmail.com .
Say bye-bye to your family, sweetheart. Daddy couldn’t find you for a few minutes, which means he is an abusive parent!
I might be wrong, but I don’t think a prosecutor has the authority to deny a jury trial, I think that is the judges
decision.
I do think the prosecutor is trying some heavy handed tactics. For instance, this man is going directly to sentencing…for what? He hasn’t ben found guilty of anything yet. What about due process?
It’s time for a real lawyer, You don’t rely on a public defender for something like this.
This is ridiculous. The public needs to know where this is, who the DA is, so we can demand justice!
i’m so upset right now i can even think what to say… would and agency like the aclu be of any help here?[denied a jury trial and guilty before any trial?]
sorry,ment can’t not can, typing with broken finger
Agree with Chris. Based solely on the account above, the appointed attorney gave bad advice to accept the lesser charge, and was professionally negligent in not informing their client of a court date. Time for a real lawyer.
Previous commenters brought up good points. Does the prosecutor really have the right to do this without a judge? We are only hearing one person’s version of the story. We don’t know any names or places so can’t verify anything. If this was public information people could speak out about it and draw more attention to it. And I while I would not insinuate that a public defender is not a real lawyer, it makes sense to secure the services of an attorney who specializes in family and children’s law.
I suggest everyone read Paul Craig Roberts, former assistant Treasurer under Ronald Reagan, who has documented the abuses of DA’s across America and the rise of the US police state.
http://www.paulcraigroberts.org/
@Rick
“documented the abuses of DA’s across America”
Look up Radley Balko as well.
And KC Johnson’s blog and book about the Duke Lacrosse case.
I’d ask to speak with the one claiming I made a claim, and if/when someone claims such a thing I would ask “If I offended you, would you please forgive me?”
Could it be forgiveness if the only remedy upon which relief can be granted?
In the Free-Range Kids book, Lenore tells people to stop reading these kind of stories because they cause parents to become paranoid and that such things happen to a very small percentage of people. But I can’t help but feel extremely paranoid when I read a story like this. How often does this happen? Kids wander off all the time. If a kid wanders off, who has any control over this situation? I would think it happens all the time. I wish we could read more optimistc stories, This story really bothers me. This has to be an extreme case?!? I hope to god that this doesn’T happen to someomsomeone else, let alone me. My god!!!
As always, I am curious as to whether there is more to the story. But let’s assume for the moment that there isn’t.
How can a system, on the one hand, act like it’s abuse/neglect when a child wanders away from parents for a short time period, and on the other hand, think it’s OK for those kids to be taken away from their parents for an indefinite time period? The risks from the latter are demonstrably far greater than from the former.
I hope this guy is given a break for his unintended oversight. Lord knows the courts give enough real criminals a break.
To those who say he didn’t commit a crime: I think he plead guilty to a “lesser crime,” so he is in fact guilty as far as the official record is concerned.
I guess he could try the avenue of incompetent counsel or some such. But I’m guessing that would take a lot of time and money.
Not long ago I read of a case where a guy proved he wasn’t the father of a kid, but the judge found him liable for like $30,000 of back child support anyway. The judge’s position was that he should have been quicker about proving it (he always denied it, but apparently not the right way). He had some plausible-sounding reasons for his delays, but the bottom line is, how can you be liable to support a child who was never yours?
So yeah, strange things come out of our court system at times.
I would be shocked if this dad was anywhere near a mid to high social class.
This is how the poor are treated in the legal system, like the lady in Atlanta whose kid ran into traffic at a bus stop on a busy highway and was criminally charged for the kid’s death:
http://usa.streetsblog.org/2011/07/14/mother-convicted-of-vehicular-homicide-for-crossing-street-with-children/
Vehicular Homicide charges for the victim. Let that sink in.
And the real crime of Child Abuse gets less attention and resources every time these whoopsies parenting moments occur. I don’t know how to correct this dysfunctional system, but only to suggest that we instead try and help out our fellow parents during low times and not call the police on each other. In other words, “Think of the children”.
Two stories:
I grew up spending summers at the Jersey Shore. After a day at the beach, we lined up in the outdoor showers (there were 10 of us) and went through a rinse cycle before going inside for dinner. My older sister was a wanderer who loved flowers and at the age of 3 would walk to the dividing islands on the main roads to pick flowers. She was usually naked. The police picked her up a few times, when they asked her name, she said she was Jacqueline Onnasis and that she lived in Jane’s room (who she shared with). They drove her around until they found the house with little kids who looked just like her searching yards and flower gardens for her. The neighbors knew of her wanderings and helped keep tabs on her. Yes, times were different then(people cared).
When I was 8 months pregnant with my 3rd child, my 2 year-old daughter was still waking up in the middle of the night demanding bottles. We also had a 3 year old and were exhausted beyond belief. She was still in a crib and would call us out by our first names when we didn’t answer to mom or dad. She woke up during a rain storm and demanded chocolate milk and said it was an emergency. (She had just learned at preschool all about emergencies and dialing 911.) My husband brought her a sippy cup of water which she chucked at his head. We ignored her repeated requests and we assumed she went back to sleep. She didn’t.
I awoke to banging at the front door and opened it to 4 police cars with lights flashing. They received a 911 call from our house with no response and had thought they spotted an intruder in the addition that was under construction at the back of the house. I saw the phone off the charger and heard the footsteps of a toddler shuffling in the construction. There were police officers surrounding the house! After we cleared up the misunderstanding (she said the chocolate milk was an emergency and that’s why she called 911) the very understanding police officer suggested I needed to *contain* her better. I still can’t contain her. Yet she’s grown into a very responsible tween, babysits several times a week, and still loves chocolate milk.
Just about every one of these nightmare stories involves a key element: the parents did not IMMEDIATELY call a lawyer. Every parent should have the number of a criminal lawyer who is comfortable working with domestic/child related cases on speed dial. That should be the FIRST call. It’s a sad reality, but a reality nonetheless.
As SKL said, the guy plead guilty to reckless endangerment and was sentenced to six months probation for that. My question is how a probation violation for reckless endangerment can put him back on the hook for child abuse. His sentencing papers for the reckless endangerment probably explains this.
I am not saying ANY of this is reasonable.
The number of cases that go to trial is extremely small because the prosecutor has so much power to push the defendant into a plea agreement. Pleading guilty to something you didn’t do is very, very common. If a defendant chooses to go to trial, the prosecutor will charge him with the worst charges possible. Defendants end up choosing between the known (a shorter sentence for a lesser offense) and the unknown (the near-certainty of a much harsher sentence for a worse crime), and who can blame them for taking the plea?
One piece of legislation that could put a crimp in the prosecutor’s ability to force a plea agreement would be a requirement that a jury be informed of any plea agreements that were offered. So the jury would hear that the prosecutor was going to be fine with 6 months probation…so why, in this trial, is he pushing for a much longer prison sentence? Going to trial is not a magic spell that makes the defendant more dangerous. Going to trial DOES force the prosecution to prove their case, making the prosecution work harder.
A couple more elements that could have made his conviction for child abuse easy work for the prosecutor is that some crimes do not require criminal intent and some crimes require only the accusation and a very, very low threshold of proof. Getting rid of laws like that would make the prosecutors work harder, too.
I’m sorry this guy took the plea agreement. Doing six months probation sounds completely doable but the system has tricks up its sleeve that no defendant could dream is possible.
Our justice system has almost nothing to do with justice.
This is why if I have children, I’ll always have money saved up and up-to-date passports to get out of the country ASAP.
If your daughter-in-law can swing it, I recommend getting passports for the children and leaving NOW. Avoid Canada, they’ll just send them back. Mexico is iffy as well. This time of year cheap international flights can be found.
Try parts of South America, such as Ecuador or Venezuela. Parts of Eastern Europe can be quite cheap as well.
If you have money, please consider funding your grandchildren’s escape. There was a family many, many years ago whose son had a bone disorder that led to easily broken bones. After being entangled with CPS, they fled to Europe, and after a few years were able to resolve things and come back.
Also, I forgot to suggest. If you’re ever in a type of situation like this, consider (it will be expensive, however) going somewhere like Dubai.
Why?
Sharia law. While it has its many failings, under sharia law, custody always goes to the father. If theoretically, a family fled somewhere like Dubai, an agency would need the father’s permission to take custody of the child and this can be denied.
Lenore, email me privately with details if you are permitted by this family to do so. I suspect there was a plea deal, often called a “First Offender’s Act” plea where he plead guilty, had things to do, and, by not doing one thing (from the letter it sounds as if it was showing up to a hearing), he lost the benefit of the deal and that is why he doesn’t get to contest the charges (he may have plead guilty or no contest on the plea deal). The National Association of Parents would review this situation.
Thanks for letting your followers know about the Meitiv Causes.com legal fund drive. http://www.tinyurl.com/MeitivUpdate2
This is just beyond crazy. Would the DA likewise consider it “abuse” if the child slipped out at night when everybody is sleeping? I disagree that it’s even fair to call this “imperfect” parenting. If so, I guess “perfect” parents would hire a night shift of body guards to make sure our children are watched 24-7. To be a “perfect” parent would likewise require having only one kid, as this story makes clear.
This worries me not for myself but for all those parents I know who are dealing with children who have autism or other developmental delays. Wandering is often a constant and worrying problem for these parents….facing potential criminal charges would only add to the struggle these parents face.
I agree though…this probably would not have happened to an upper middle class family. Things like this happen when prosecutors know there is too much money and risk involved for the people they’re accusing. It becomes an easy game of cat and mouse, that ends with money coming in for being “tough on crime.”
Time to call the ACLU
Re the family’s social class, I don’t know, but if it’s true that he had all those cabinet locks and a door alarm etc. etc. I kind of doubt they are poor.
Someone in the government needs to take it upon him/herself to address the huge disconnect between what CPS is there for and what “child protection” is doing to good families.
I’m sure most of what they do hits the mark more or less, but there are too many outliers on both ends of the spectrum.
All I have to say is the System needs to practice what they preach. And I guarantee, they are NOT perfect themselves. That they are just as “guilty” as this father. So they can either consider themselves “guilty” and face the same consequences. Or they can view it as if it were they themselves on trial. Hypocrisy at it’s finest. Coincidence Lawyers sounds very much like “liars”? Hmmmm.
And yet if you put this same kid in a locked room or on a harness and leash (which is about the only way to contain some kids), that’s called child abuse.
Unfortunately, I don’t think there is more to this story. I’ve been part of the similar case of a father who was charged for reckless conduct where his child escaped while he, thinking she was napping, went to do something else. In his case, CPS did take the kid (but there were other circumstances, including the fact that he was a single father so there wasn’t another parent home when he got arrested). I don’t know how his case resolved as I wasn’t his defense attorney.
“I might be wrong, but I don’t think a prosecutor has the authority to deny a jury trial, I think that is the judges
decision.”
No, it is 100% the defendant’s decision.
If the writer has everything correct, it sounds like this was some kind of diversion program. Basically, you admit guilt and agree to do certain things. If you do them, the charges are dismissed. If you fail, the charges come back. I have never heard of a diversion program where you admit guilt to one charge, but you stand convicted of a completely different charge if you fail, but I suppose such could exist. Seems extremely odd to me.
“Re the family’s social class, I don’t know, but if it’s true that he had all those cabinet locks and a door alarm etc. etc. I kind of doubt they are poor.”
If he qualified for a court appointed attorney, they don’t have much money. Everyone doesn’t get a court appointed attorney who asks for one. You have meet certain low income and asset requirements.
@ARM–What if the child slipped outside while the nighttime body guard was in the bathroom or something?
How the hell could a DA support the initial charges to begin with?
This also sets a really bad example. Call and report you child missing, and we will charge you with abuse. Actions like this can and will cause parents to delay in calling for help, which could mean the difference between a happy ending and a nightmare ending.
Now when I think about it, why not file a lawsuit against the police dept. and the DA. Just for the hell of it. Try it for failure to fulfill their duties. If I am not mistaken, when you call them to tell them your child is missing, or ran away, it is their duty to freaking help you.
This DA is a bully and needs to have his power yanked away from him and never returned!
@Emily – Exactly! Like I said, the whole thing is beyond ridiculous. (By the way, my own child’s most serious injuries, such as they are, have all happened in my presence. Parental presence is not magically protective anyway.)
I have no words, just feelings of anger at such a broken system.
Welcome to America. This is how government tyranny works. Stockpile all the guns you want, they won’t help.
That is insane. What about children who figure out how to escape these child safe measures?
My eldest was brilliant in getting around what we set up for her when she was a toddler. Like the frame in the doorway so she couldn’t go outside but she figured out how to take it out of the doorway and put it back up so she could go outside.
Shame he took that deal. Now he is stuffed and a family is ruined by idiots in the Police.
Based on the prosecutorial overreach of this DA, my parents would be serving multiple life sentences for all the times I wandered off while we were out in public or shopping at the mall.
I’m sure I have “shiny object syndrome” where anything and everything would (and still does) capture my attention. I was constantly wandering off and getting lost and not paying attention to where my parents were, etc…. Not one bad thing or even remotely questionable thing ever happened to me in all those times I was giving my parents worry and heart attacks. (I wish I had an adequate way to apologize and repay them for shortening their lifespans from all that worry)
It’s got to be that this DA is trying to make a name for him- or herself. Or this person has a screw loose in the old brain box.
Just about every one of these nightmare stories involves a key element: the parents did not IMMEDIATELY call a lawyer.
WE HAVE A WINNER!!
This whole story is a mess, but definitely another sign of just how bad our judicial system is. The problem with the final judgement here is that he plead guilty. Therefore, because he didn’t show up for his next court date, whether he knew it or not, probation was revoked and there is no possibility to go to jury trial for that. He had already plead and a sentence was handed down. Probation revocation does not go before a jury, only a judge. The judge most likely is following the plea agreement. Don’t ever plea. Too many innocent people plea because of the abusive powers of the prosecutors threatening additional charges, whether they are relevant or not.
This dad’s story breaks my heart – I just wrote a response to this on my blog, because three months ago, I found a wandering toddler in the street.
http://rocksinthejewelrybox.blogspot.com/2015/03/perfect-parenting.html
the scary thing about this is that it could happen to anyone. How can this be fought to keep it from happening to anyone else? And may the evil bureaucrats responsible be cursed with incurable leprosy.
I’m a physician in suburban Phila. I greeted the kids one evening as I came in then noticed five mins later one was suddenly missing as we set the table—- our 2 year old had walked straight out the front door, then down the block, around the corner, across a four lane local avenue (about 300ft), and was found in the arms of a stranger who had pulled over and scooped up the kid. They has only been there a few seconds, and to my amazement this woman handed me my kid without argument or lecture.
I guess my wife and I are FELONS!!???
First time commenting! I love this blog
We were moving across country and at a hotel in one of the Dakotas. I was planning on doing laundry so I took my youngest and got change from the front desk. Took her back to the room, grabbed the clothes, and off I went while my husband stayed in the room with the kids waiting for the pizza delivery. About 15 min later I hear my little ones voice and thought my husband and her were coming for a visit. Nope, it was the front desk lady with my 2 year old. Apparently she had snuck out the room after me and my husband thought she was going with me. She wandered the hotel for a bit until someone found her and took her to the front desk. The lady remembered I was doing laundry so came and found me. No police called. No investigation. Just a 2 year old who escaped and someone found.
It happens to everyone! I cannot think of one parent I know who’s child hasn’t just walked off or snuck out.
New lawyer! Now, immediately!!!!!
Dean Tong has long advised parents to never plea bargain or agree to parenting classes because that is then considered an admission of guilt and may be used as an excuse for further action in the future. Read his book: “Elusive Innocence.”
Bastards! This may be an old tired saying but this is our justice system for you. This is why I don’t have kids. They can be the best thing that can ever happen to you, but one honest mishap will lure the evil out of poeple who want to take things to a level that was never ment to go so high. I hope he fry these jokes in court and take away what they love which is nothing compared to what they are taking from him.
This is a travesty! I’m absolutely appalled that something like this could happen. I am praying for this man and his family. I hope that this terrible wrong is righted.
And I’m sure that none of the people involved in the decision to bring the hammer down on this family ever did something that utterly terrified their parents when they were toddlers.
There’s no way this is true. Mommy (of the father) is getting half of the story. I guarantee there’s more to it. I’m a prosecutor and I see these cases. Not every office handles them like mine but we usually dismiss with a parenting class on something like this. Usually no one’s charged unless it’s happened before. More importantly it’s simply not legally possible that he took a deferred plea to reckless endangerment and then faces a conviction for child abuse without trial. Not legally possible. This letter is full of crap. If you do a deferred to reckless you can only be convicted of reckless and only after a hearing to determine if you violated the deferred.
Yes, my son is definitely NOT upper middle class. In fact, in spite of him working long hours, he needs to rely on both Medicaid and food stamps, but if he would be permitted to focus on his business instead of fighting this, he probably could be above the poverty level by now! He is a hard worker, and actually employs several other photographers, so this affects many people.
I found a good attorney and have offered to give out of our own needs to secure the $2,500 fee to retain him, (I only have $500 myself, my sister offered some $$, too) but he is SO strapped with fees from the parenting classes and the court fees, he is hoping the public defender will be enough. so far she says he has done NOTHING wrong, that this can be cleared up, but I am STILL on pins and needles.
And NO, it NEVER happened before! Half the story? Sure. You didn’t hear of all the other cases my son’s friends also told him about. You did not hear how angry his pediatrician was, since he knows these kids are so very well cared for, well nourished, etc.
Terrifying! My oldest daughter, now 14, has always been a handful, and was fond of ‘breaking out’ of the house – starting at about 2 y.o. I have another daughter who is 14 months younger, so my hands were full with 2 precocious kids. We finally had to put slide locks at the top of all doors leading outside. Of course, it didn’t take her long to figure them out (and with a chair, she could maneuver them open), but at least we had a fighting chance to figure out what she was up to before she got out. Many people questioned the locks, and some made comments (albeit semi-jokingly) about holding them prisoner. I wonder what would have happened if someone had turned us in for the locks? This is just another overstepping government, no-win situation. Common sense has left the building…
Hi Judy,
If you all are strapped for money, you might want to look into one of those funding sites to get some donations. Ia am sure people would help out under these circumstances.