Readers! Wish I’d written this one! Some of the lyrics:
Everything Is Dangerous by Tom Smith
Your kid can get salmonella from his new pet turtle,
Buckle your seat belt or through the windshield you will hurtle,
You can choke on anything not bigger than your head,
Everything is dangerous, so how come you’re not dead? …
Make sure that your sunscreen is at least SPF 30,
Don’t eat food in restaurants, the chef’s hands might be dirty,
Gay men want your body and they can’t control their urges,
Monks have secret messages they’re chanting in their dirges.
Magnetic waves from in your cell phone just might fry your brain,
There’s a flying spaghetti monster in your beef chow mein,
Paris Hilton might explode, I saw it on Fox News,
Everything is dangerous, including Starburst chews….
Love it. Have fun! — Lenore
P.S. This is a song — not an endorsement of reckless, seatbelt-less driving. I am on record, even on the lefthand side of this page since the day of its inception, as LOVING seat belts!