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    Free-Range Kids

    Extremely Helpful Tips!

    October 13, 2009
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    At last — the kind of safety info any new parent could use. You’ll be so glad you looked! Click here!

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    17 Comments

    1. Kelly on October 13, 2009 8:04 am

      t-hee!

    2. MaeMae on October 13, 2009 8:26 am

      That was great! Very informative. However, I have been known to hose the kid down after a particularly dirty diaper. : P

      Once again, thanks for the laugh, Lenore.

    3. peaceful guide on October 13, 2009 9:14 am

      So wait, I can’t spike the baby’s bottle to get him to mellow out?

    4. Lillian on October 13, 2009 9:19 am

      LOVE these!!

    5. Meagan on October 13, 2009 9:20 am

      No! Peaceful Guide- alcohol is only for tooth aces, colds, and general entertainment (baby+bourbon=family fun).

    6. babelbabe on October 13, 2009 9:21 am

      reminds me of those Carl (the Rottweiler) books…

    7. Michele on October 13, 2009 9:43 am

      Cute! Thanks for the chuckles.

    8. Tana on October 13, 2009 10:32 am

      i’m gonna have to revise my entire parenting style now…

    9. Kim on October 13, 2009 11:03 am

      Well, I guess I failed the parenting test too…I’ve had to hose down my daughter a couple of times when she’s had diaper blowouts. Of course, I only used the shower hose, not the garden hose, so maybe that doesn’t count.

    10. gramomster on October 13, 2009 8:17 pm

      Too funny! I love the introduction to family pets. We don’t put the baby in the fish tank?

    11. Dot Khan on October 13, 2009 9:20 pm

      The National Lampoon humor magazine did a parody of a parenting magazine called Negligent Mother back around 1974. There was a picture to go with an ad for Sparties diapers showing a baby enclosed up to its neck in a huge diaper. It was intended to be worn for a week, after which you lift the baby out by the neck and hose them down.

    12. Melissa on October 13, 2009 9:23 pm

      Love it!

    13. jim on October 13, 2009 10:40 pm

      @Dot Khan – Thanks! I’ve been recommending the Hefty-bag-around-the-neck-and-a-weekly-hosing thing for years (often claiming that was the way I was raised) but couldn’t remember where I stole the idea. Should have figured it was Lampoon. A while back I turned a 20-something on to the “Lemmings” album and when it got to “Colorado” (a John Denver parody about a bunch of hippies in a snowed-in commune) the line “Baby didn’t die until we’d burned up all our wood/ Considering we ate her raw, she tasted pretty good!” he blew Dr. Pepper out his nostrils.

    14. Uly on October 14, 2009 2:27 am

      You’re missing some!

      http://www.frakincool.com/page/5/

    15. Uly on October 14, 2009 2:29 am

      Sorry, make that link http://www.frakincool.com/pictures/parenting-101/ instead.

      My favorite is the “bonding with baby” one, although “shopping with baby” is a close second. I actually saw a family do that once, with a newborn. It was one thing to put the clothes on top of the baby in the stroller, but to put the dog on top of the baby (and then wonder aloud how the baby got a scratch on his face!) was a bit much. Not dangerous, just… kinda dumb. That baby could’ve hurt the little dog by flailing!

    16. Holly on October 14, 2009 6:08 am

      Ha! That reminded me of this video. I think you’ll enjoy it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWyeTRl_y1A

    17. hockey on October 14, 2009 6:16 pm

      very funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s awesome thanks for the laughs.

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