24 Responses to How to Protect Your Child from Predators

  1. MichaelF December 3, 2014 at 12:17 pm #

    Nice…now that is some out of the box thinking!

  2. Laura December 3, 2014 at 12:28 pm #

    Omg. Too funny and so sad at the same time. Major props to the actors. After watching this video feel need to look up birds of prey.

  3. Nadine December 3, 2014 at 12:33 pm #

    Saving your kid with a sambonella umbrella

  4. Rich Rairigh December 3, 2014 at 12:39 pm #

    LOVE THIS!!!!

  5. BL December 3, 2014 at 1:20 pm #

    You can’t be too careful.

  6. Wendy W December 3, 2014 at 1:25 pm #

    Obviously this IS a real threat! We should all learn to protect our kids from these vicious birds of prey.


    (Yes, I know it’s fake.)

  7. forsythia December 3, 2014 at 1:39 pm #

    Well, you can’t be too careful. A red-tail hawk nearly knocked me off my bike once – so that’s a hazard we all must plan for! Also, what about killer deer? A doe kicked my son last fall – so you can’t be too careful!

  8. Kimberly Herbert December 3, 2014 at 2:17 pm #

    I am so sending that to my sister. Yesterday we were making bows in her family room and we heard this thud thud and all of sudden feathers just started falling like snow. I ran upstairs and a hawk was on their upstairs porch feasting on a mockingbird. We called the kids to see the hawk.

    Oh – we also “have” a nesting pair of Bald Eagles, at least 1 bobcat, lots of deer, a bunch of coyotes, and a ton of wild hogs on a wild life refuge we own. The kids were there playing Black Friday. They were instructed “keep 3yo with you -we don’t want the hogs making a meal of her.” as they ran off to play.

  9. lollipoplover December 3, 2014 at 2:25 pm #

    “I cover my house in enormous eyes so that my children will feel safe.”

    Best thing I’ve heard all day.
    This is hilarious.

  10. Jessica December 3, 2014 at 2:47 pm #

    “I never want to experience that again”

    That’s a pretty vivid dream…

  11. Papilio December 3, 2014 at 3:42 pm #

    He had exactly the right tone of voice. Sometimes with actual videos of parents talking about threats to their children I’m not sure whether it’s a parody or not because their fears are so ridiculous. The first few seconds of this vid gave me the same feeling…

  12. Steve December 3, 2014 at 4:23 pm #

    What a great spoof!

    He said, “I can only hope that other parents are doing exactly what I’m doing.”

    But I wish he had been a bit more harsh to reflect helicopter parents self-righteous judging. He could have said something like: “If other parents are not doing exactly what I’m doing, they obviously don’t love their children.”


    “As I look at the houses in our neighborhood and notice the absense of big protective eyes, I realize there is an obvious absense of love in those homes.”

  13. Donald December 3, 2014 at 4:29 pm #

    Australian magpies get very aggressive late August to mid October. They protect their young. However some birds go so far overboard that I think it’s a sport for them! I saw a magpie attack a motorcyclist in heavy traffic. True.

    Although very aggressive, I consider them to be little more than a nuisance. This is the case although I’m a cyclist and have been attacked (20 times?) that sometimes leave a mild cut on my ear or neck.


    When I first got to Australia, I noticed many cyclist put cable ties on their helmet. I thought they were clowning around to look like they have a Mohawk haircut. I learned that this is for the magpies.

  14. no rest for the weary December 3, 2014 at 4:44 pm #

    I wish we had a house like that in our neighbourhood. It’s beautiful!

  15. J.A. December 3, 2014 at 4:47 pm #

    I think for maximum black humor, the video should have ended with him being hit by a car as he crossed the street with eyes raised skywards.

  16. Jill December 3, 2014 at 5:34 pm #

    In Lawndale, IL., in 1977, a giant bird almost carried away a ten-year-old boy. Totes true, y’all!
    Giant bird attacks happen. You’d never forgive yourself if your precious child were taken by a huge, winged predator.Don’t let your kids go outdoors. That’s where the birds are.

  17. Steve December 3, 2014 at 6:16 pm #

    J.A. – That’s a great idea.

    The guy who made this video could do a whole series.

  18. Scott December 3, 2014 at 8:35 pm #


  19. Rick December 4, 2014 at 8:55 am #

    Excellent article! Clicked over to your story on Yahoo! Parenting… and lo and behold… just to the side of your fabulous article, there appeared this horrible (yet familiar) bit of fearmongering:


  20. Coasterfreak December 4, 2014 at 9:57 am #

    As I watched the video I immediately thought of this comic strip by Don Hertzfeldt.


  21. CLamb December 4, 2014 at 1:16 pm #

    …and it is illegal to harm the birds (http://theraptortrust.org/the-birds/injured/law/) so if a bird captures your child all you can do is try to convince it to bring the child back. Perhaps offering to exchange a fresh turkey for the child would work.

  22. Adam Funk December 5, 2014 at 5:59 am #

    Hilarious, although after the opening I was expecting him to go out armed to blast the suckers out of the sky…

  23. Vicky December 5, 2014 at 5:44 pm #

    Hehe. Funny but scary that some parents are near psychotic about protecting their children!