Stop Your Kid From Making Out — Remotely


This Buick ad is airing on the Olympics. It’s about a tracker for kids old enough to drive (the Buick). It shows a mom and dad realizing that their at-least-16-year-old daughter has parked on Lover’s Lane. Yikes! As the Taliban would say: Let us stop this whoring spawn of Satan!

But, being Americans, they do this with a playful smile, and an app.

Thank goodness we don’t ever have to let our offspring out of our sight anymore, at least electronically. Why should they be allowed to grow up when we can make sure they don’t, so they’re safe? – L.

P.S. einssehdaz
I do love the fact that the girl is driving. And that the boy is parked but wearing his seatbelt. It’s like those beer commercials that show everyone having a wild time and the tag lie…er…line is: “Drink responsibly.


Just think! We wouldn't even HAVE our daughter if my parents had done this with me.

Just think! We wouldn’t even HAVE our daughter if my parents had done this with me. (This is a photo. Above is the actual video.) 


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26 Responses to Stop Your Kid From Making Out — Remotely

  1. Becks August 11, 2016 at 7:51 am #

    I do wonder if that’s tongue in cheek though and not actually a real suggestion…..?

    I hope so!

  2. theresa August 11, 2016 at 8:33 am #

    I think it mom and dad didn’t realize how much their kid had grown. And weren’t handling it well.

  3. Workshop August 11, 2016 at 9:11 am #

    So, we can buy an app and make up for our really bad decisions as parents? No, because our poor decisions in not preparing our children for life will haunt them for many years.

    We can buy an app to try and assuage our guilt about making bad parenting decisions? Bingo. Of course, then there’s no actual incentive to start making good parenting decisions, because our culture has become “me me me,” and obviously redirecting my guilt is more important than helping my kids make good decisions.

  4. Nicole R. August 11, 2016 at 9:53 am #

    I honestly think it was just meant to be funny – to make us laugh so we’d pay attention to the commercial, but actually use the features in other ways.

  5. Dienne August 11, 2016 at 10:07 am #

    Re: It was just meant to be funny. Well, sure, but why is it funny? Because it’s so true. If this were something that no one did or would consider doing, the ad would flop – people would look at each other with a “what the–?” look on their face. But as it is, parents across the country watch that ad and give each other a raised-eyebrow look – “should we?”

  6. Workshop August 11, 2016 at 10:54 am #

    I was watching Hotel Transylvania 2 with my sons, and there was a scene where the grandfather vampire takes his grandchild to the camp that the grandfather went to when he was a boy. Instead of the dangerous multi-story rickety tower where the vampires jumped from to learn to fly, there was a 6′ jungle gym and a guy holding a net underneath the jumper, plus an inflated pillow in case the net-holder missed the jumper.

    It’s funny because that’s exactly how we remember our childhoods, and “we all agree” that it’s absurd. But who is laughing in real life? Certainly not the moms who demand extra cushion on the playground, or the people who demand children wear bike helmets.

    We, as a society, laugh and say “oh, that’s funny” and then go out and mimic the exact same behaviors of hyper-safety because we’re afraid that something will happen if we don’t.

    Call people out on their foolishness. Announce to the school that your child will be bringing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Let them have an aneurism because their safe little bubble-world gets popped by reality.

  7. Papilio August 11, 2016 at 11:05 am #

    UGH!!! What a stupid, petty thing to do, REALLY, who should grow up here??!!

    Re: joke, if it were meant to be funny, then why the ‘Oh no!’, as if 16-year-olds making out is a disaster*? They could have just laughed and suggested to pull a prank.

    *I guess it would be if all that kid has ever heard is abstinence talk…

  8. lollpoplover August 11, 2016 at 11:30 am #

    I realize this is just an ad trying to get us to buy a car by highlighting a feature and targeting a demographic (parents), but do any of the parents on here look for this type of feature in a car?

    My teen who will be driving next year. What’s my biggest fear? Distracted driving. I wish there was an auto feature that made him lock up his cellphone to drive the car and only disabled it when the car was in park. That and maybe a seat belt alarm that played Vanilla Ice songs when the belts weren’t clicked….

    My parenting approach to teen driving is that it is a privilege earned by being responsible and competent. He can’t wait to buy a car. He’s been working hard all summer to save up for the car he wants. Early this morning, I checked his room and he was gone. Where was he at 6:30am?! Letting a dog out for a neighbor who hired him for their vacation. He gets another dog tonight to watch and he has 2 cars to detail today, sports practice later, and a moving job this weekend. He won’t just be handed a car and stalked. He will work for this privilege, be proud that he bought something with his own hard work, and be trusted not to do anything really stupid so we don’t have to electronically stalk him. And I hope he makes out with many young ladies in that car he worked for!

  9. Jason Harrison August 11, 2016 at 12:11 pm #

    At least they didn’t actually stalk the daughter on the first date as in this Hyundai Superbowl 2016 commercial.

    First Date – Hyundai Super Bowl Commercial | The Hyundai

  10. Robert Monroe, Jr. August 11, 2016 at 12:13 pm #

    My concern with all of this surveillance of young people is that they will grow up to be adults who don’t think they have any rights to privacy. For them, it’s normal to have parents who monitor their social media, schools who can routinely enter their lockers or search them, etc. When they become adults will they accept government intrusion to the point where they will not think twice about the Orwellian television on their wall that watches them as much as they watch it?

  11. Flossy36 August 11, 2016 at 12:34 pm #

    News Flash!
    Young people have sex and you can’t stop them.
    Seriously, when it comes to big decisions teens have to make ie: sex, drinking, drugs etc… You want them to make the healthy choice based on their own understanding of risk- thier own set of “wrong” and “right” ethics. Provide them with information, give support and love and let them go forth into the world.
    Think about it.
    “I don’t speed and wear a seatbelt because I want to be safe” has a lot more power than “I don’t speed and wear a seatbelt when I see a cop.”
    You are a fool if you think that putting your child under surveillance will prevent them from doing things you don’t approve of.

  12. Jennifer August 11, 2016 at 12:40 pm #

    Ugh! Well, of course it’s a girl driving the car. They can never be trusted to make their own decisions about what they want to do with boys. Boys are all only interested in sex, and can’t be trusted to treat girls respectfully, so girls need to be monitored for their own protection.

    Sexism, rape culture, helicopter parenting – they got them all in one commercial. Way to go, Buick!

  13. Lois Marshall August 11, 2016 at 1:54 pm #

    The thing that most alarms me about this scenario is that no one seems to realize that it could result in one or both of these teens being listed on the sex offender registry, even if they are both above the age of consent. In fact, if the parents of that girl decided that they wanted to stop and make out…well, it would not be the first time that such adults wound up on the sex offender registry.
    That app is intrusion of the worst kind. No good will ever come of it.

  14. James Pollock August 11, 2016 at 2:01 pm #

    “That app is intrusion of the worst kind. No good will ever come of it.”

    Apps are tools, and like any tool, can be used for good or ill. The problem isn’t in the tool.

  15. Alanna August 11, 2016 at 5:20 pm #

    It’s hilarious!

  16. Donald Christensen August 11, 2016 at 5:23 pm #

    “Just think! We wouldn’t even HAVE our daughter if my parents had done this with me.”

    Love it!

  17. NY Mom August 11, 2016 at 5:43 pm #

    “Here’s to the girl who steals a kiss and runs to tell her mother,
    “She’s a foolish, foolish thing,
    “She’ll not get another!”

  18. sexhysteria August 12, 2016 at 2:13 am #

    I’m all for wearing seatbelts while making out, but a make-out tracker and alarm is too much.

  19. Ron Skurat August 12, 2016 at 12:48 pm #

    They still make Buicks?

  20. SKL August 13, 2016 at 4:58 pm #


  21. SKL August 13, 2016 at 5:01 pm #

    Did the parents stop to think that maybe if they did that and grew up OK their kid might also do it and grow up OK?

  22. SKL August 13, 2016 at 5:02 pm #

    Are there people who want to know when their grown-up kids are having a romantic moment? I mean, sane people?

  23. Paul August 14, 2016 at 7:03 am #

    I’d love to see a counter-commercial which starts like this, but it turns out she was at a stop sign when they do that rather than about to make out, and them turning the alarm on makes her panic, hit the accelerator, and crash into a fire hydrant.

  24. BL August 14, 2016 at 7:29 am #

    “Did the parents stop to think that maybe if they did that and grew up OK their kid might also do it and grow up OK?”

    Of course not. Things Are Different Now(tm).

  25. Jonathan Petersen August 14, 2016 at 11:59 am #

    This is funny.

  26. Bob Davis August 15, 2016 at 5:03 am #

    Reminds me of a Star Trek episode where the residents of an asteroid have “obedience devices” implanted that allow a centrol computer to punish “forbidden thoughts”. So many things that were “sci-fi” when the original Star Trek series was first broadcast in the mid-1960s are now standard equipment on cars, or things you can buy at Target or on Amazon.