Last night, a mom in Jackson, Miss., let her six-year-old son stay sleeping in the car while she ran into Kroger. While she was inside, it seems that three car thieves stole the vehicle and at some point they ended up shooting the boy, Kingston Frazier, dead. A photo of someone carrying the mom like a rag doll turned my heart to lead. She had fainted with grief. It’s a feeling we all instantly understand, and it may haunt us. I was reading the other day about how empathy, that wonderful human emotion, is also no friend of freedom. Once…
Author: lskenazy
‘Tis the season to celebrate the coming of summer and what was once, the old folks say, a season of free time for kids. Time to ride their bikes, walk to the store, and learn whatever games everyone in the neighborhood was playing, from spit to baseball to Barbie. Without adults. To see how valuable that unstructured, unsupervised time is, read this essay by Peter Gray, author of Free to Learn. But to help bring it back, why not take your kids to your neighborhood park on Saturday at 10 a.m. and leave them there. Or (I know, I know)…
I was scrolling through my Yahoo newsfeed this morning when I suddenly spied this headline: Free Range Parents Are Scapegoats For Parents Scared They Aren’t God. What a fascinating piece on the fact we really want to believe if we only do everything “right” our kids will be safe. The columnist, Cara Valle, begins: “America’s Worst Mom,” as Lenore Skenazy playfully admits to being called, discusses in a recent American Conservative article a pathological paranoia that seems to be gripping American parents. She points to a grossly inflated perception of some dangers our children face. Valle lists some more commonplace…
An admittedly small study in Great Britain has found that many kindergarten-age kids lack the kind of balance, motor skills and reflexes of kids even just six years ago. Reports The Independent: A “concerning” number of today’s four-year-olds are not physically ready to start school, new research has revealed, with children’s mobility levels said to be at an all-time low. Early-years specialists monitoring children of school age found a higher number experience problems with their balance and coordination than previously thought, ultimately affecting their ability to learn in class. Researchers from the University of Loughborough said the increase was partly…
More insight from the real world about trafficking: Dear Free-Range Kids: First, I want to thank you for your crusade! It has inspired me to be a more relaxed mother & help my friends relax a little too. We are all new at this, my son is the oldest & he’s turning 4 next week, so I like to think I set the example a little bit. I want all our kids to actually be able to PLAY together one day, and for all us adults to be able to retreat to another room & be adult…
Mother’s Day is usually about dandelion bouquets and a first scorched effort at French toast. It is focused, in other words, to the moms of young, mommy-smitten kids. This piece comes to us from Deborah L. Jacobs, author most recently of Four Seasons in a Day: Travel, Transitions and Letting Go of the Place We Call Home, from which this essay is adapted. It’s about being the mom of an older kid, and still evaluating your role. You can follow Deborah on Facebook and Twitter. Launching and Leaving, By Deborah L. Jacobs Friends and family who heard that my…
This ad is overwhelming. Maybe it’s already been seen by every person on the planet. But just in case, here it is: I can’t summarize the storyline because it unfolds so wonderfully. But as for its connection to Free-Range Kids, I must paraphrase Prof. Jon Haidt yet again (I found the ad on his Twitter feed): What creates understanding and community is working toward a common goal, rather than focusing on our differences. Unfortunately, on at least one campus he was telling me about, incoming students are lined up in the middle of the gym. Then some administrator reads a…
This post originally appeared as a comment from Donald Christensen, an Australian dad interested in psychology and cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). He explains this subject through his OnMySoapBoxx blog with simple, clever analogies and pictures. I’ve learned so much from him! Here’s his take (punctuated the Aussie way) on why we’re hearing the word “safety” all the time: Safety is used for many things other than ‘Safe’. 1. Safety is used to say, “Do what I say now! End of discussion”. ‘Danger’ has become a trump card. ‘Danger’ can be substituted for, ‘Because I said so that’s why’! A toddler…
The infantilization of our kids goes hand in hand with the time-wastification of us parents. Here’s an example from, of all people, the American Cancer Society. Those folks should understand better than anyone that life is short! Don’t waste it on red tape! http://relay.acsevents.org/site/DocServer/Chaperone_Agreement.pdf?docID=450597 Dear Free-Range Kids: My daughter is a capable, independent, and responsible 14 year-old. She babysits. She’s also empathetic and loves to volunteer. So when she volunteered for the Relay for Life for the American Cancer Society, I was pleased she was supporting a good cause. But I never imagined that for her to volunteer, it would…
Yes, yes, we must support our fellow parents as they grope — sorry, bad word choice! — their way through this whole child-rearing thing. I don’t recommend scolding them in public. But when a pop culture advice dispenser actually recommends worst-first thinking (dream up the worst-case scenario FIRST, no matter how unlikely, and proceed as if it’s likely to happen), we must register our dismay, as a reader did when she sent me this recent Dear Annie column: Dear Annie: I am a single mom with two boys, ages 4 and 7. We recently took a trip out to…