Cutest (Perv) Comment of the Day

Hi trntbtrras
Readers! As the day winds to a close, I am happy that a whole lot of people read the Wall Street Journal piece about treating all men as potential pedophiles. There were about 200 comments over there. And this is one of the cutest ones I read right
here. — L

Dear Free-Range Kids This brings me back to about 1973, when I was a wee little preschooler, sitting around on the sidewalk (unsupervised—gasp!) in front of our house on a summer day. My mom came out and said, “Now Mollie, if a man comes over to you and shows you his penis, I want you to come home right away.” I think I looked with anticipation at every single guy who walked down the street for years after that. “Is this going to be the one?” I would wonder.

It just seemed so outrageously unlikely that anyone would do that, but hey, it does happen sometimes… it happened in 1973, it happened in 1573, and it will happen in 2073 (if the polar ice caps don’t melt off and drown you first).

Point being: why is it that back in my childhood, when the density of per-capita pedophiles and perverts was the same as today, we all just carried on about our business, and today, we are all acting as though it’s a certainty that if we take our eyes off of our kids for one second, the creep in the bushes will spring out and grab them?

Seriously. This is textbook hysteria. I’m sick to death of it.

Will today be the day?

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26 Responses to Cutest (Perv) Comment of the Day

  1. BobB January 13, 2011 at 10:27 am #

    Why you ask? Two words -Nancy Grace

  2. Jo January 13, 2011 at 11:00 am #

    I was going to say idiotic media, but Bob beat me to it.

  3. socialjerk January 13, 2011 at 11:12 am #

    My mom said the EXACT same thing to me last weekend! (I’m 27.)

  4. edie January 13, 2011 at 11:35 am #

    Still, animals losing habitats and dying due to global warming is something I take seriously.

  5. Matt L. January 13, 2011 at 11:39 am #

    It’s all about doing the safest think possible to protect our children! ::puts them into the car::

  6. Alex January 13, 2011 at 12:32 pm #

    I thought Nancy Grace was the vanguard of children going door-to-door selling her chocolate to strangers for fundraisers.

    As I started to write this comment, I realized that was Helen Grace, not Nancy.

  7. enyawface January 13, 2011 at 12:43 pm #

    This reminds me of a conversation with a friend not long ago. He is just retiring and getting adjusted to retired life, trying to figure how he is going to stretch the retirement checks. As a child he was an alter boy. He says these days hearing about all the former altar boys suing the church because they claim to have been molested ( not to say they weren’t but there sure are a lot of claims), he wonders, could he sue because he wasn’t? The pain and suffering it put him through because apparently the priest thought him so ugly they never gave him a second glance. I told him,of course he could sue, winning is the question. Of course, with his looks, he might have a good chance 😛

  8. Katie A January 13, 2011 at 12:44 pm #

    Unrelated to this post, but I wanted to let you know about this story:

    This state legislator from Oregon wants to OUTLAW transporting children under age 6 on a bicycle or in a trailer.

  9. This girl loves to talk January 13, 2011 at 1:47 pm #

    about the unrelated post…… what???

    I have one of these trailers and it has a line on it saying dont ride/be passenger if you exceed this height well my 3 year old almost exceeds the line!!

    how could you outlaw taking kids under 6?? thats the age their made for…. unless people want to start dragging their older kids and tweens on their bicycle trailers as *real riding* is too dangerous for them 🙂

    I love mine and my 1 and 1/2 year old and 4 year old ride in it while my 9 and 7 year olds ride ahead.

  10. pebblekeeper January 13, 2011 at 1:49 pm #

    I think I met that guy, I was in 4th or 5th grade – we had a lake with community trails. We lived there before they were paved and knew every nook and cranny of the lake. One day a guys said he knew of a new trail from a fallen tree that we didnt know, so my friend and I went to look for it, when he got there he asked if we wanted to see his penis. He even said “penis”. We said, NO! and walked back to the people at the park. I was not scarred for life. It was one of those “thats weird” moments, and I never felt threatened. I like the advice. Someone is going to want to show you their penis – come home.
    The second guy that asked me to see his – I married. 🙂 Haa haa.

  11. Tuppence January 13, 2011 at 6:29 pm #

    Adorable story!

  12. Mom of Two January 13, 2011 at 7:54 pm #

    OMG – That cracked me up. Thanks for the laugh. I’m still laughing.

    And the unrelated post…I only read the headline, but I’m just shaking my head.

  13. Carrie January 13, 2011 at 11:34 pm #

    I love this story. Yes, there have always been pervy men who will try to show little children their penises. There always will be, I suppose. Isn’t a good deal of harm done to children when we SCARE the crap out of them about the BIG SCARY men lurking everywhere, using stealth manipulation tactics to trick them? We teach them to be so afraid and to trust no one – rather than inform and empower them. It’s really quite simple. If a man tries to show you his penis or touch your private places – get a way from him. Scream, run, do whatever you need to do to get away.
    Great story!

  14. nancy January 14, 2011 at 12:35 am #

    When I was growing up, there were two Big Rules my mom told us.1)Don’t get in a car with a stranger. 2)Never be alone with a priest.

    Yes, it turns out a couple of our priests were pedophiles, but most of them were just normal kindly men. At the time (and still now), all I could think was, “Why are we even in this religion if you don’t trust the priests?!” And thus I became an athiest at 13. Way to go, Mom! 😉

  15. EricS January 14, 2011 at 1:03 am #


  16. EricS January 14, 2011 at 1:09 am #

    And don’t forget about those perv women teachers who get into sexual relationships with 15 year old boys.

  17. michelle January 14, 2011 at 7:22 am #

    My mom gave me a similar warning in the middle 60’s. It finally happened in the mid-80’s when a man flashed me in a Paris subway. First thing I did was call my mom laughing hysterically.

  18. Skyfire January 15, 2011 at 5:23 am #

    I was in a grocery store the other day with my family. My husband was holding our baby, who was fussing because her pacifier had fallen on the floor, and I had taken it across the aisle to the deli to ask them to rinse it in the sink.

    Not less than three women gave him a suspicious look, and another commented loudly to her friend, “Where is that baby’s mother?”

    Do people just assume that a man holding a baby is up to no good? That he’d stolen the baby from her poor mother and was randomly standing with her in a grocery store? Or is it that people think fathers are incompetent?

  19. Erica January 15, 2011 at 6:17 am #

    This made me laugh out loud. of course there are plenty of pervy people but I truly believe there are more good people than bad. I am too busy to sit around and worry that some crazy guy is going to show his penis to my kids!!

  20. julie January 15, 2011 at 8:30 am #

    and… you know what? my grand mother use to tell me when I was a kid ? when she was a little girl she use to go into town to do the marketing alone she was about 10 and her mother use to say to her… ” now CC if any of the creepers get fresh and pull out their shlongs you tell the fish monger and he’ll cut it off he will!”

  21. julie January 15, 2011 at 8:32 am #

    Not less than three women gave him a suspicious look, and another commented loudly to her friend, “Where is that baby’s mother?

    He should have said ” well thats why I am here buying trash bags for the body”

  22. pentamom January 16, 2011 at 10:08 am #

    Or he could have throatily whispered, “Back behind the toolshed.”

  23. Christina January 18, 2011 at 8:50 am #

    You know what? I’ve a lot of mixed feelings here…I feel like I’ve found a happy medium between not supervising my children at all and keeping them leashed to me at all times. I have been wondering and wondering…and hesitating to post because I’m really not looking for a fight…what it is you say to the parents of children who DO go missing? or who ARE sexually assaulted? My (then) 5 year old daughter was involved in a sex crime in our very own backyard, six foot wooden shadow box privacy fence, while playing with her 2 brothers and 2 cousins…the perpetrator…a 13 year old boy who just moved into the house behind us THAT DAY!!! That one incident did a lot of damage. We had talked to our daughter and even role played a couple of times about such a thing happening…fact is, she was FIVE which is a very young child and it really did no good. Maybe I should have been keeping a better eye on them. For a while the kids weren’t allowed outback alone…now we’ve put up a bamboo barrier so no one can put their hands thru the fence or see thru the fence and the kids are older so they go out alone again. Plus, the parents of that teenager keep a tight leash on HIM after their son was involved with this.

    This was just in my local paper today:,0,4523194.story

    If/When it happens to you you’ve just got to be willing to live with it.

    Also, wondering if you’ve seen the video of the man attempting to abduct the screaming 7 year old in the middle of the New York street…it was all staged…went on for 2 hours before anyone stepped in. I believe it was from NBC/The Today Show.

    I am wondering if *only* one hundred and something children are abducted a year because so many parents do keep an eye on their kids….

  24. ebohlman January 18, 2011 at 9:41 am #

    Christina: In response to your last paragraph, the kidnapping numbers were still very low back before all this paranoia started.

    The question we all need to ask ourselves is “how much are we willing to give up to protect ourselves and our kids from rare dangers?” Different people will have different answers, but “everything and anything” isn’t a decent one.

  25. Erica January 18, 2011 at 10:56 am #

    you are so right Christina, it IS tough to find a happy medium. My children are now allowed to walk up and down our neighborhood street to visit playmates. It was a tough decision. I would like to keep them tethered to my belt loops.We talk a lot about safety, all that stuff…. My gut told me it was time to lengthen the leash. I want them to be informed and empowered. We cant always be fearful. But we can be aware. However…I have not been through what you have been through. We all have to do what we feel is best for us and our children

  26. ebiarbashu January 20, 2011 at 10:17 am #

    nEw1ls Menia viebali kak shmelia na goufake YYou!!!!